Once upon a time, in the wee hours of the morning on a cold winter day 50 years ago, something very special happened. A baby girl with jet black hair and big brown eyes made her way into this world. Oh, she didn’t enter this big bad world like one of those average babies, she made her debut with a grand arrival. It didn’t matter a snow storm was brewing. It didn’t matter that the doctor couldn’t get to the hospital and it certainly didn’t matter that the nurse said she wasn’t “ready” to be born. Um, I wasn’t a Butterball for godsakes.
This little bundle of joy wanted to make a lasting impression and that’s exactly what she did as she barreled into the world by sliding right to the bottom of the hospital bed like a wet seal all by herself. No doubt causing my mother to instantly spring a gray hair… or two. Hey, it you’re gonna go… go big … right?
Little Lisa Maria was born on February 19th, 1964. She is the youngest of 4 children a/k/a “the baby” of the family. A label she still wears today when her mother introduces her to ANYONE. But she doesn’t mind, she just smiles and sheepishly embraces her title.
As you can see Lisa continued liven things up at her first birthday party. In her defense she isn’t the one who purchased the chocolate, nor is she the one who left it in arms reach of a baby. If we’re going to point fingers, I would start with the tall people at the party.
Now let’s fast forward to today, when I once again slid to the bottom of a bed to officially hit another milestone. “Slid” may be a little strong… shimmied might be better.
Drum Roll Please ….
The Big 50
Half a Century
As I was doing a little research on turning Fiddy I found out that I am in some pretty good company this year. Aside from all those other AARP cardholders that is. Who the hell knew that so much greatness could emerge in one year? 1964 was certainly rocking some star power. Let’s kick the list off with a little name dropping shall we. Ahem … First Lady Michelle Obama, Matt Dillon, Rob Lowe, Lara Linney, Lenny Kravitz and G.I. Joe just to name a few. There are actually 103 on the list, including yours truly, but I don’t want to
make you green with envy bore you by listing all of the awesomeness of my birth year.
I also found a very interesting historical fact about this day 50 years ago. Out of all the incredibly memorable events taking place in 1964 you will not believe what went down on this date. Are you ready?
UK flies ½ ton of The Beatles wigs to the US
Seriously? I’m left to assume that the historians were out to lunch and the lab monkeys got together and thought this was hilarious. I’m still not sure how or why this is considered history, but more importantly I was not able to find a single owner of one of these wigs. Now I sort of want one ….
Any who …. since I love to see people happy in honor of my 50th Birthday I want you to take a break and celebrate with me … Because I’m Happy! If you are the proud owner of a Beatles wig feel free to put it on now.
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do
Enjoy the Ride!
There comes a time in any relationship when you start to dread gift giving holidays. I know, I know but if I yearn for something, I go get myself something. The thought of leaving “hints”around the house for someone to notice is exhausting. Not to mention they would need to be the size of a billboard surrounded by bright flashing lights for anyone to “notice.” This holiday season I made the executive decision to start giving the gift of experiences to my immediate love one. Fun memories can go a long way.
My first decision really didn’t take much time at all. We have both been talking about getting a massage for months, so I found a cool salon in the city Body Restoration that offers a couples massage and ta-da my experience was purchased. Hmm…did you ever get the feeling that talking about something and doing something might be completely different?
Well, our appointment was this past Sunday and I couldn’t wait to give some lovin to these sore muscles. All week I was providing my husband with a daily countdown to the big day, but he wasn’t really giving me the “OMG! I CAN’T WAIT EITHER!” vibe in return. So I finally had to ask “Are you excited about our massages?” Insert long pause along with several odd facial expressions. He was nervous because he wasn’t sure what to expect. What?! Really?! I’m happy to report all those fears left as soon as he hit the heated table. I heard him SNORING twice!
Speaking of heated tables … I was so relaxed that I barely noticed that my right nipple was practically engulfed in flames midway through my massage. You know you’re relaxed when your arm is too limp to shift your burning nipple as you tell yourself things like … “it’s cool you have another one.”
We must have looked like two linguine noodles as we headed over to Rittenhouse Square for a much-needed bite to eat. The complimentary cucumber water and cashews only went so far.
It was our lucky day because we stumbled into a great little eatery called Rouge. I was immediately surprised at how crowded this place was at 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Apparently this is the time of day when the extremely wealthy eat their meals.
As we sat at the bar waiting for our table I immediately started to absorb my surroundings. For starters there was a beautiful young woman fawning over what I believed to be a fossil of some sort, but then realized it was talking and footing the bill. They were all over each other like teenagers, which was bizarre, but then again money has been known to provoke odd behavior.
Since I have what some may consider a super power of sorts … yes, you read that right. I have the ability to zero in on conversations all around me. Sort of like a human radar without the big bulky satellite dishes. This is how I learned that the fossil’s name was Jonathan and his young lady friend was Beverly. Apparently Jonathan let his penis take Beverly shopping for a Burberry cashmere wrap. How do I know? Let’s see…she never shut up about it while spinning around Jonathan like a belly dancer!
There was also a group of elders enjoying a lovely brunch at a table to my right. Just looking at them you knew they were frequent patrons. This wasn’t too hard to figure out since the entire wait staff hovered over them like a group of seagulls waiting for a fry to drop.
Just as they were getting ready to leave a very distinctive odor filled the room. Nothing bad, just odd. Then it hit me…it was the scent of old money. I’ve had the pleasure of getting a whiff of this before from one of our patients at work. There is a huge difference between the scent of the money that regular folks use and this old money.
My money, when I even have the pleasure of having some in my wallet, usually goes undetected because it’s in and out in a flash. But this “old money”, it gives off the scent of mothballs, aged scotch and wool. I just imagine bundles of cash aging in the comforts of a luxurious safe, while without even breaking a sweat, multiplying at record speed. I suspect the eldest money in the safe provides daily lectures that begin with the line … “when I first came to the safe.”
All in all it was a wonderful day loaded with memories. The massages were incredible! The food, drinks & conversations ours and everyone else’s were entertaining and the company… just priceless. Well, not literally “priceless”, but definitely worth every new dollar.
Take time to make some memories with the ones you love, even if your nipple is on fire and your cash flow dwindles at the speed of light, just … Enjoy the Ride!
Here in good old Philadelphia we recently experienced the “The First Snow of the New Year”, which for some reason became a major news story. Every time a flake fell a WEATHER ALERT interrupted my regular scheduled programing to report on the logistics of said flake. It really makes you want to spike your cocoa.
I would love for snow to go back to the days when it was just snow, before it became headline news. Snow has become the Kim Kardashian of precipitation and it’s equally as overplayed in the media.
Wouldn’t it be nice if snow could just go back to being the plain white pain in the ass it use be? I’ll probably sound all sorts of old right now, but I remember the days when it snowed, everyone dealt with it and we moved on. It was so easy…
No one was out interviewing people on their opinion of the flakes, while we sat glued to the “talking box” with bated breath awaiting the judgements of these novice spectators. When someone with one giant tooth in their mouth claims “the roads were fine” I have to question their credibility. If they can’t see how horrid that tooth looks every damn day they certainly aren’t seeing dangerous road conditions … just sayin.
No one was bringing camera crews out to empty parking lots to report on the emptiness of the parking lots and no one and I mean NO ONE was in our face 24/7 informing us about every single movement of these flakes! This does not include the amateur reports on Social Media, which are enough to trample even the strongest of nerves.
One would think that with ALL of the information that was being provided by our media, PEOPLE would have a better understanding of let’s just say … Snules a/k/a Snow Rules. Um, yes they exist is the land of common sense where I reside. Sadly someone forgot to forward the memo over to the land of asses, which happens to be extremely overpopulated these days. I have dubbed these people Snasses … a/k/a Snow Asses.
Snules: n. a piece of advice about the best way to do something.
Snasses: n. a group of people who don’t follow snules; referred to an ass, a-hole or stupid ass on clear weather days.
Below are just a few examples of Snasses and Snules, you know for the next round of flakes. Feel free to take notes.
Snass: On my white knuckle ride home from the gym during the start of “The First Snow of the New Year” I had someone riding my bumper like I was twerking it up at the VMA’s.
Snule: Unless you are about to perform a colonoscopy I suggest you stay a safe distance behind strange bumpers.
Snass: On Friday afternoon, while on my way to the food store for you guessed it …. milk, I encountered what I am lead to believe was a mini van, but since it was completely snow-covered other than the non proportional eye slots no one will ever really be sure, which I’m guessing was the point.
Snule: When you head out onto the roads clean the snow off your car. This includes the ENTIRE vehicle, especially the large glass surface used to SEE the road. Clearing two spaces for your eyes will not suffice.
Snass: On Saturday afternoon my daughter and I were out and about on a quest for new bras. New year… new bras. Any who … I was being incredibly contained not mentioning the tower of snow on top of the vehicle driving in front of us, but then my daughter unleashed its existence leading to the creation of the word “snass” during my mile long rant.
Snule: Refer back to number 2 to include the ROOF of your vehicle. Driving with a glazier on the top of your vehicle causes blizzard like conditions for everyone driving in your wake. The ONLY exclusion for leaving snow on top of your car would be your lack of arms.
Snass: Parking lots…ugh where do we even begin. Ok, I think it’s safe to assume that the large group of people who decided to venture out for some sales were seasoned mall patrons. Therefore they know EXACTLY how the parking lot is designed and how to use it properly.
Snule: So, unless you have documentation of acute memory loss you need to park in an actual spot…the SIDEWALK leading up the door of the store is NOT suddenly a spot and you know it.
Snass: We all know that being out in your Hummer in the middle of a suburban snow storm makes you feel like some sort of warrior, but let me give you a heads-up … YOU’RE NOT. In fact, driving that thing outside of Afghanistan makes you look ridiculous whether it’s sunny or snowing.
Snule: Unless you are actually driving your oversized vehicle through a snow storm in a war zone, you need to SLOW the hell DOWN and remember you might get to go faster, but you’re not going to stop faster.
Since we are not even through week one of January, it’s safe to say that there will be more snow to come here on the east coast. So please follow the Snules, don’t be a Snass and just Enjoy the Ride!
Ok people this is going to be brief considering I’m still a little traumatized by the events, but I thought it would be good idea to share my tale for healing purposes of course. Or just so you could all have a good ole fashioned laugh at my expense.
December 20th started out like any other day. I was up early to get a jump on things before battling retail facilities with my daughter for Christmas loot. All was calm, all was bright.
Since it was exceptionally warm and sunny that morning I decided to
take my little Pee Wee out for a long walk before we left. This way he would be too tired to miss us…at least that’s what I tell myself. So off we go out into the neighborhood. I thought it would be a good idea to head towards the playground and ball fields in my area, since it is loaded with good sniffing spots for Pee Wee. I never saw this coming … literally!
There I was, minding my own damn business, when out of NO WHERE came 2 giant black poodles heading right for us at full speed. I scoop my little Pee Wee up and hold him over my head like Simba in the Lion King! Thank God I’ve been working out is all I can say!
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the human in charge of these 2 oversized fur balls made her way across the street. She was walking at a snails pace for god sakes!
As she began apologizing, “Jack” the overzealous/horny fur fuck had taken a liking to yours truly and mounted his big furry ass to my back. His paws were at my shoulders and I am at least 5′ 8″ tall…seriously!
Needless to say the poor woman was trying very hard to get Jack to stop humping me, but clearly he was enjoying himself way too much to let loose. By the way I was still holding Pee Wee in the air during this entire one-sided love fest.
As the owner was trying to get a collar onto the other one, Jack continued to enjoy himself. I was turning in all directions trying to shake him loose, but this young lad had paws of steel and he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Awkward? Oh…dear…lord…that was an understatement.
This all conveniently took place at a STOP sign, so you better believe there were quite a few pointing fingers and fits of laughing going on at every stop. Where are the all the superheros when you need one?
The woman FINALLY got one dog under control and then she proceeded to peel Jack off of my back and thanked me for being “gracious”. Um, graciously assaulted was more like it. The first thing out of my mouth was “Well, I’m wearing a black coat, maybe Jack thought I was his girl from the hood.” I really couldn’t think of anything else to say. She just stared….
When it was all over I half expected to see Jack lying on the sidewalk smoking a cigarette! I walked away laughing as I heard the woman continue to apologize. Please ! The least she could have done was give me Jack’s number.
Sooooo….what does one do when crazy shit happens? They send a text to their family and friends who they know will also get a good laugh out of it. Which is exactly what happened.
These are the responses from my dear sisters Madelynne and Gina, notice the sympathetic tones (insert sarcasm please). I knew their responses would make me laugh even harder, because this is how we roll! Read and enjoy folks
Sister number one responds with a question regarding the location of the assault. Oh, not to rush over, but to either avoid that area in the future or laugh harder if other people witnessed this encounter. It was a win win for Madelynne.
Next up is sister number two a/k/a Gina. I knew her response would be good since she is really not what one would call an “animal person” like myself. This was a golden opportunity for her to justify why she is not a pet owner.
The lesson here ladies and gentleman is: When life decides to throw you a curve or a giant poodle named Jack, find the humor and Enjoy the Ride!
Now that the holy grail of holidays is over, it’s time for me to get back to the business of reading and writing. I’ve missed all my blogging peeps! Over the next few days I hope to fill you in on my very busy December. Let the games begin!
Whether you follow this Blog or have the pleasure of knowing the up close and personal me, you are already aware of my overzealous “need to know” everything all of the time. The holidays are like a month-long opening day for this curious people loving gal!
With Thanksgiving practically running right into December, there was an awful lot of action jammed into the few weeks leading up to Christmas. This meant adding decorating, partying, cooking and shopping onto an already full plate, but this time it felt so good. Like a fork full of lemon curd cake good!
December started off with a HUGE burst of energy. We hit D.C. for an all expense
paid Christmas party hosted by um, who really cares all expenses were paid, ok .. ok .. it was actually a sales company associated with the big corporation that employs my hubby. They were celebrating the holidays, along with the fact that they broke a record by brining in a whopping ONE .. HUNDRED .. MILLION .. DOLLARS in sales for 2013! That must be said in the voice of Dr. Evil, otherwise it’s just a number.
We were shacking up at the Mandarin Hotel, which is incredible all by itself, but when I walked through the door and saw Mrs. Brady a/k./a Florence Henderson standing right in front of me, it escalated into euphoria for this gal. I stalked her while the hubby was checking in. This left him in charge of “listening” to important information about breakfast and what not … *sigh* probably not one of my better decisions, but MRS.BRADY WAS IN THE HOUSE!
The 7 course dinner was superb, along with the continuous flow of wine and spirits. The wait staff were hovering like seagulls waiting for a Cheeto to hit the beach! If you took so much as a sip of your wine they flew in to replace it before your glass had a chance to rest back on the table. God only knows how much I actually consumed. To be honest, I was so high in the moment the wine was an added bonus.
As you all probably know, The Kennedy Center celebrates five extraordinary individuals each year who have spent their lives bringing joy to so many with their commitment to the performing arts. Oh, the reason I’m mentioning this is because we were all sharing the same hotel. It was like hitting the freaking lottery for this star struck crazed fan!
I really had my work cut out for me though, so I got right down to business by getting all sorts of chummy with the Concierge. I’m still somewhat surprised to know he was married to a woman. Once I had my “in” on when this amazing group of entertainers would be heading back to the hotel I was able to get my “crazed fan face” under control, which was not easy, as I impatiently waited for their return.
First through the door … Mr. Carlos Santana. I was in awe and chose to leave him enjoy the company of his lovely wife and sisters who accompanied him for the evening. They were all quietly gracious as they headed for the elevators, where he did stop to take a photo with a young family.
Next up was Garth Brooks, who was not nominated, but was there for some reason. He came through the door like the big ole cowboy that he is wearing his trademark black hat. He could not get enough of the crowd and took photos with anyone with a pulse. I did not partake in these shenanigans because frankly I’m just not a fan. I have stalking standards folks.
As I was gazing on at Garth taking over the lobby, I didn’t realize that Shirley MacLaine was standing right next to me. She was a nominee for her nearly 60-year career on stage and screen. Her entourage was surrounding her as they were trying to figure out where they could go to continue celebrating the evening. Just then I turned to face her and quietly professed my love. She thanked me; gave me a K I S S and snapped her fingers to declare “We’ll all fit in my suite…let’s go!” I hope you all understand how hard it was for me not to follow them into the elevator…. seriously!
Let me just say that I could not even sleep that night! I was exploding with excitement as I sat on Cloud 9 from the events of evening.
The next morning while we enjoyed an incredible breakfast snow started to fall outside. It was the perfect ending to an amazing weekend. Until we hit Virginia that is ..when our 3 hour trip turned into a 6 and a half hour white knuckle ride from hell! Oh it was going to take more than some snow and ice to drag me down from Cloud 9!
It was time to scream loud or Enjoy the Ride!
This post was originally written in honor of Nelson’s 94th birthday, today it is reposted in honor of a life that exceeded the expectations of mankind. The world may be a little bit dimmer today with the enduring loss of Nelson Mandela, but his light will shine on through all he has touched … thankfully that number is unable to be measured.
Originally posted on Life With The Top Down:
I decided to share some of the wishes he has received in honor of this milestone, we should all be so fortunate to be viewed in such a positive light. Just look at that smile!
The Obamas: “On a personal note, our family has been inspired by Madiba’s example, and has deeply appreciated the time we have spent with him, and his wisdom, grace and generosity of spirit.”
Peter Hain: Nelson Mandela seems to encompass all that is best about us on our best day. He represents democracy, tolerance, humanity, courage, leadership. We would all like to live up to those standards in our everyday life. Very few of us manage to.”
Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu: The greatest gift the nation could give Mandela on Wednesday would be “to emulate his magnanimity and grace.” “Mr. Mandela taught us to love ourselves, to love one another and…
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I’m not sure how many of you out there had the pleasure of being summoned to your school auditorium in 5th or 6th grade for a special screening of Puberty the movie. I know if you went to grade school in the 70′s like me, you were most likely faced with viewing this mandatory film starring none other than … the Birds and the Bees. You could hear the sound relief echoing through my neighborhood as that parental bullet was dodged.
The anticipation that lead up to the screening of this not so oscar worthy film on puberty, periods and pads, was the equivalent to waiting for the answer to “Who Shot JR?” Needless to say it was a huge confusing disappointment to find out there was a painful monthly price to pay if we ever wanted to look like Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. It wasn’t all bad though, in fact the best part about the whole experience was the lovely parting gift that was distributed to the now traumatized group of Catholic school girls … a real life maxi pad and security belt. Now go back to your classroom girls, brush this information under your desk until your wedding day and go on with your day.
Although the jury is still out for me on what’s worse, growing up in the 70′s with everything being hush-hush or growing up today where kids are a Google search away from seeing it all…and then some. When my son was about 10 years old I found the words “big bobbies” in the search engine of my computer. Um, if you can’t spell “boobies” you probably shouldn’t being searching for BIG ones.
Why am I bringing this up you ask? Well, because as awkward as it was to sit through that film, I want to know when I will be summoned to view the sequel. That’s right ladies its time for Menopause the movie. I did see the musical, which was informative and hysterical, but I still have questions.
I know at this age I’m expected to be mature, read books or make appointments with doctors for my answers, but those sources do not discuss the real facts, they just sugar coat what is going to happen to your body. I want to sit down for 30 minutes, hear all the raw dirty details and leave with a parting gift. Is that really too much to ask?
It has come to my attention recently that there are a few facts out there that seem to be kept under wraps when it comes to menopause. For instance the random hairs with the texture of electrical wiring that seem to make an appearance on your body. Chin, neck, cheeks (upper & lower) and nipples…oh, yes you did read that correctly. Where are the ads, commercials, leaflets, gum wrappers…anything for that matter with this information? I guess it’s not as important as the non-functioning penis we have to hear about during every show … every damn day.
Oh, I know you’re all saying “shut up and buy a pair of tweezers Lisa!” I really wish it were that easy, but it’s not. For starters in order to see these unsightly wire-like hairs I actually need the sense of sight which was strong-armed out the door by these aggressive intruders. No one ever said I would need to wear glasses in the shower and perform a full body search on myself … ever!
Seriously, I can do a Google search to find out all the medical facts I need to know about this subject. I’m a click alway from information on all sorts of remedies to reduce symptoms, prescription drugs to stop things in their tracts, but contain side effects that will ultimately kill you and products to prevent me from melting quicker than a snowman on the beach, but not one word about the fact that I may have the ability to grow a goatee quicker than my husband. That’s a really big piece of information to leave by the wayside.
So, after all of my unauthorized research, I have come to the conclusion that between the sudden hair growth, loss of eye sight, shortage of bone density, lack of tolerance for anything remotely resembling a member of the opposite sex, foggy memory, random feelings of bursting into flames and lack of sleep it’s safe to say that in a few short years I will be mistaken for at least 6 of the 7 dwarfs or a disgruntled garden gnome. Who said getting old isn’t fun?
WANTED: Pre-Menopausal woman seeking female friends under 45 with good eyesight who aren’t afraid to point out unsightly hairs while riding shotgun with at least 6 personalities as I do my best to … Enjoy the Ride!
Greetings! I thought I would take a moment on this beautiful Fall morning to give you all a shout out and a little explanation on what I’ve been doing lately that has kept me from writing as much as I would like. I’ll just assume you are all sitting on the edge of your seats right now.
First, I’ve been working very hard trying desperately to get into shape. Something other than a rectangle. This has consisted of attending a high intensity Cross Fit class 3 or 4 times a week. In other words I’ve been a sweaty bruised pain stricken woman who feels surprisingly great. Attending this class with a great friend is a bonus, but being surrounded by a group of people who just have a way of bringing out the best in us, well that is priceless. We have both come a long way over the past 8 weeks, physically & mentally.
The key is to eat like a caveman. No grains. No sugar. No flour. Nothing from a box and brace yourself … no Alcohol. In other words, NONE of EVERYTHING I have come to LOVE. However, something tells me if there was a big fat piece of sugary cake in the cave the females would be fighting over it like a pack of wild dogs. There is no scientific proof to back up that statement, just the personal knowledge of female hormones.
So, I have been consuming meat, fish, chicken, fruits, veggies and nuts since September 23rd. Thank GOD for the likes of cocoa and coconut to satisfy my sweet teeth…yes, that was plural. I’ve been splitting my hunting & gathering between Whole Foods and Local Farmer’s Markets, which by the way can be equally as dangerous as a jungle, especially on the weekend. We can not even discuss how expensive it is to eat like a cavewoman, but then again so are visits to the doctor’s office…right? Looks like I’ll be working some over time at the quarry.
Note: I spent $9.99 on a loaf of Paleo Bread after CRAVING some sort of grain. I have concluded that price in no way determines goodness…AT ALL! I will painfully finish eating the entire loaf of
dry wall bread due to the memory of my father’s voice saying “Are you out of your god damn mind?” I remember when he would complain over the increasing price of things like milk, bread & bridge tolls, so I’ll assume he is spinning in his grave right about now. Sorry dad…
This challenge is a learning tool to be used in making better future decisions. Honestly though the transition hasn’t been too hard and I do feel very good, but come November 4th you better believe I will be indulging in a Pumpkin Muffin … made from all natural ingredients of course.
One of the other things I was able to do this month was attend my 35th Grade School Reunion. That’s right, 35 glorious years ago I graduated from 8th grade and headed into the
hell hallways of high school. Can you feel me shuddering?
One thing I know for sure after this evening is that women, at least the ones from my class, aged much better than the men. I was only able to recognize 4 on site, the rest … well, they needed to be reintroduced. Yikes! Also, the most asked questions of the night “are you still married?” and “how many times have you ben married?” All in all it was a wonderful evening filled with old friendships and laughs…lots of laughs.
Next on my list is the request to appear in Federal Court today for jury duty. Yea me…NOT! I was all prepared to spend the next (3) days waiting to find out if I’ve been chosen to serve on a federal jury. I had my David Sedaris book ready to go, just in case I needed some random outbursts of laughter to make me look a little cray cray. I worked liked a dog to clear my desk, for the sake of my co-worker who will be holding down the fort. That is a post that has yet to be written. All these arrangements only to call the 800 number yesterday and hear the words “Report to your normal place of employment tomorrow.” “Do not report for jury duty.” This was equivalent to hearing All Public & Parochial Schools are Closed, after you already did your homework. Cross your fingers that I hear that message again today!
As if I weren’t busy enough, this weekend I will participating in 2, yes 2 fundraisers. One is being held this Saturday 10/26/2013 at the Cross Fit gym and it is appropriately called Barbells For Boobs. For every $80.00 raised a woman will be able to receive a Mammogram. My participation in this challenge will be on behalf of Susie over at Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride. She knows first hand the importance of Mammograms and early detection!
The next event is a 5k walk for the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. My family, including Pea-Wee (Peanut) will be walking on Sunday 10/27/2013 to support our neighbor Joey. He was diagnosed in February and this is his first attempt to raise some money to Stomp Out Juvenile Diabetes.
This little boy is a wonderfully sweet, smart and creative kid. He has taken on his challenge with encouragement and hope that some day he will be the one known for stomping out the likes of this disease.
Live your life and Enjoy the Ride!
The other morning I came across a reblogged post by Mimi over at Waiting For The Karma Truck that really struck a nerve. Well, it wasn’t actually the blog itself, but Mimi’s comment that got my nerve going. Read on…
I have been having many conversations with friends of mine about what the second half holds. The key perhaps is in re-defining one’s understanding of the concept of ‘doing’ – turning that energy inward and valuing it as much as one valued all those years of externalized effort. Some thoughts for this morning…
The subject of the blog was about aging, a conversation I was also having recently with a dear friend. Calm down we weren’t discussing nursing homes, if fact it was the polar opposite. There were a number of things that brought this subject to the surface, especially our looming “Special Birthdays.” One has already been celebrated, but I must wait with bated breath until February to celebrate mine.
Mimi made a wonderful point in her response to my comment. She said, “I think some of us are just at the age where we realize that we need to move not just to another chapter, but perhaps another story entirely.” Reading Mimi is like having my own personal Yoda around for a daily dose of wisdom. Shit! I hope she doesn’t bill me.
Her words immediately had me thinking about all the chapters and several stories in my own life. We all start out with the same story “New Beginnings” , but the rest, well … they’re on us. I decided to compile a Cliff Note version of some of the more noteworthy stories/chapters of my life.
- Mommy, Will You Marry Me?: When I was my sister/best friend had to go to school and leave me ALL day. In that moment I vowed to marry my mommy. That’s right I had amazing sense even at 4. I knew this woman was the best thing that ever happened to me and damn it I wasn’t going to let her get away. We had two wonderful years alone together before I had to join my sister at school, but I never forgot how special I felt as we watched Pixanne and I proposed.
- Catholic School or Scarred For Life: I think it’s safe to say these two go hand in hand. I didn’t have a chance between following in my over achieving sister’s shoes, constantly being reminded about it every time I entered a classroom and being the emotional punching bag for a group of bitter, sex suppressed woman a/k/a nuns. This may come as a surprise, but I really didn’t enjoy school…can’t imagine why. This story lasted 12 long years!
- Love Goggles: Over the years this story has also been referred to as “What The Fuck Was I Thinking?” and What The Fuck Were You Thinking?” on more than one occasion. I fell hard at 16, sealed the deal at 21 and ended the farce at 23. This story lasted close to 8 years! This was more like a series of short stories that always ended with a clear lesson for the readers, however the author was somewhat of a resistant learner who tightened her love goggles to the point of blindness and missed her own lessons.
- Cupid To The OR … Stat!: This is one of my favorite stories. Cupid certainly had his hands full with me. I walked around with my heart on my sleeve for all to see and when I fell, I fell hard. I went from doormat to a wall to wall carpet while in this relationship, so Cupid had to really push the envelope for me to open my eyes. The procedure took place over a holiday weekend in 1988. Cupid scrubbed up and prepared to surgically remove my “Love Goggles.” He led me right to my bedroom where I saw my husband in bed with another woman…**BAM** they flew right off and I never looked back. There are times when extreme measures are necessary, this was one of those times.
- Love, Marriage & Baby Carriages: After a few years of recovery from my procedure, Cupid put my name on another arrow. This time he dulled the point just enough for me to recognize what true love was all about. After 22 years and 2 great kids later I can say “Thank you Cupid, thank you very much.” This story is still going strong with new chapters being written every day.
- Lisa, Is That You?: Considering the amount of years I spent answering to Mommy, Mom, Momma, Momma Bear, Emily’s Mom, Zac’s Mom and Yo Mom, it’s no wonder that LISA was put on the back burner alongside her underwear. That’s right folks, her underwear! Those cotton sacrificial lambs that went YEARS not being replaced because “Mommy” had to make sure the little asses of her offspring were covered first with their latest cartoon character obsession. Oh, how their big smiles over Rug Rat briefs made me forget all about the missing elastic on my own panties. Until the next Chapter…
- MOM! You’re Fired!: Talk about not seeing the warning signs of this happening. I went from “Employee of the Year” to the unemployment line overnight. All my loyal service and they left me in the dust…with semi worn underwear. Of course they still “need” me, just not nearly as much. I’m proud of the young adults they have become, but I am a nurturer, so I missed shelling out the love, until I realized I had been neglecting the one person who needed my love more than anyone else…ME.
- Who Loves Ya Baby?: It took a few years of therapy, an extreme panic attack, a good honest look in the mirror and the big 50 on the horizon for me to realize that Lisa was overdue for some much-needed loving. Here I am challenging my mind, body & soul in ways that I never thought possible. I am physically seeing changes that make me proud of my accomplishments. I am participating at my Quaker Meeting in ways that enable me to walk the talk and feed my soul, but most of all, I am realizing that I am able to take pride in being whoever the hell I want to be.
Untitled: I’m not sure where I’m headed, but I know I’m going in the right direction and with a lot less baggage. You may want to brush off your sunglasses and be prepared to squint, I have a feeling I’m going to be giving off quite a glow.
Remember, if you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave and Enjoy the Ride!