Christmas Is A State of Mind or Madness

Christmas Decoration Design Team

Christmas Decoration Design Team

This time of year neighborhoods everywhere are beaming with Christmas displays, that are for the most part, entertaining for their beauty. Then there are those that provide a heavy dose of unintentional comedy. But, no one truly prepares us for those that leave us silently shaking our heads, as we ask ourselves some very pressing questions. Who came up with the idea of the hideous enormous inflatable holiday decorations that make absolutely no sense? Who are these creative geniuses that continue to test our level of Christmas tackiness? What happens behind that closed-door as the design team presents some of these brilliant ideas? 

Shut the door Kringle!

Shut the door Kringle!

Oh how I wish I were a fly on the wall when the Santa in an Outhouse idea hit the table. Did everyone gasp at the horror or did they ponder the thought “it’s so bad it might be good” idea? Considering this exhibit of Santa’s stenchivities is resting on lawns across the land, I think we know the answer.  I couldn’t help but wonder if this is where Santa reads through all those letters?  It’s probably best if we don’t discuss the Elf, his action speaks louder than my words.

IMG_0920

Frosty, please get that stupid grin off your face.

This next one is by far the most senseless display of the season The Hunting Snowman. Christmas is supposed to be about joy, not intimidationWhere do we even begin? Should we start off with the lack of a trigger finger. Snowmen have mitten hands. Perhaps we could mention the look on the deer’s face. If that doesn’t just scream WTF, I don’t know what does. Maybe, just maybe, we could discuss the fact that HUNTING has NOTHING to do with CHRISTMAS! Nothing says Happy Birthday Jesus like a rifle toting snowman…said no one EVER!

homer_simpson_santa

Why?

At this point it’s clear nothing is off the table. There is a market for anything.

If there is an interest out there, you can surly bet that there is a Christmas lawn ornament to match it. I’m sure you’ve all seen the I LOVE Homer Simpson monstrosity that has creeped its way into Christmas. It’s not always a good thing to display your interests by way of a ginormouse inflatable Christmas decoration. Now, if you already have one of these beauties it’s ok, because I’m sure you’re already aware of your “that neighbor” status. If not…you are now. 

IMG_0922

Jurassic Park Reject

This next little masterpiece was spotted in broad daylight. I had to make a u-turn to verify what my eyes just registered with my brain. Oh, how I wish I were wrong. There it stood, clear as day The Christmas Dinosaur. What? You never heard the magically Christmas tale of the Christmas dinosaur? Just because the santa hat fits, doesn’t mean you have to display it! 

I actually felt a tug at the ole heart-strings for this little fella. I know, I know but I couldn’t help it. I started to imagine at one point he was probably an understudy for that famous long neck featured in Jurassic Park. Once all the hoopla ended, he couldn’t get work and this was his last hope for a steady gig. Excuse me while I blow my nose..sniff, sniff. 

I would like you all to know that these photos were taken very close to my home. Please don’t judge. Around my parts the front lawns have the square footage of a postage stamp, which makes seeing these immense structures more horrifying. It’s a Christmas miracle in itself that they’re still standing.

Do penguins need lifejackets?

Do penguins need life
jackets?

Of course this piece was written in jest…sort of…in order to spread a little Christmas cheer. So please take some time to Enjoy the Ride  this holiday season. Even if it’s in a 7 ft. inflatable speed boat driven by Santa with a penguin sidekick, that makes no sense whatsoever. 

Merry Christmas!

About these ads

52 responses

  1. Tops, I am wiping the tears away from this one. Such enormous time and money spent just so we can all laugh at their tackiness.

    Well done post. I’m often in a bit of a Christmas non-cheery mood these days. But the Christmas Dinosaur ran that mood right out of town!

  2. Reblogged this on FiftyFourandAHalf and commented:
    This post is guaranteed to De Grump anybody.

  3. I LOVE THE 7 FT. INFLATABLE SPEED BOAT DRIVEN BY SANTA WITH A PENGUIN SIDEKICK!!
    ….I’m okay.

  4. Hahahahaha! Glad to know I could oblige. THANKS for the re-gift or reblog : )
    The freaking dinosaur did me in too. Doesn’t it look lonely on the lawn? It’s the only decoration on display. I know this because I drove by yesterday!

  5. OMG! I saw that thing on the way to the food store and damn need crashed the car… hahahahaha!

  6. I just woke up, made a cup of coffee, sat down to drink it, opened my email, saw your post, started reading & laughed so hard a little bit of coffee shot out of my nose! I know, TMI but if Santa can poop on a lawn….
    “I couldn’t help but wonder if this is where Santa reads all those letters” Too funny!
    And for the record, I agree, these things are horrendous & everywhere!

  7. Sure thing, Tops. The dinosaur was hilarious. And of course, a girl like me with GI troubles got a hoot (at toot?) out of Santa in the Outhouse, too!

  8. The inflatable decorations are just one more step in people’s lowering their holiday effort. Once upon a time, in my childhood, outdoor lights consisted of tangled wads of screw-in light bulbs. The homeowner first had to untangle the lights, then replace the bulbs which were burned out. The lights were then strung onto the bushes, trees and/or gutters of the home. After a few trips to the curb for critical observation, bulbs were unscrewed and re-screwed elsewhere to even out the distribution of yellows, reds, greens and blues. The entire process took a fair amount of time and involved risk of ladder falls and electrocution.

    At some point when I wasn’t paying attention, the big screw in bulbs were replaced by little sparkly ones. The long tangled wads of wiring were thrown away each year and new ones purchased. Some genius invented a “net” of lights to throw on top of bushes to save people the trouble of trying to space the lights out evenly the old fashioned way.

    Now giant inflatables have taken the place of decorations. It’s easy, kids, you just put the figure where you want it, turn on the fan, spin as necessary for proper street orientation, and then hope like hell those rotten kids down the street don’t slash it after you go to bed.

    Bah humbug!

  9. Locally I saw the Wizard of Oz characters in Christmas attire. I scratched my head because I don’t remember any reference to Christmas in the story!

  10. I am with you on this. Nothing says Christmas like an inflatable Homer Simpson. By the way, when I saw your monkeys in the suits and ties, I was waiting for the punch line that these monkeys could do better on fiscal cliff negotiations than the elected ones. Have an enjoyable holiday season with or without the inflatables. BTG

  11. Aint that the truth! Effortless, thoughtless exhibits of who we have become as a society.
    There was nothing more beautiful than those screw in light bulbs!

  12. It’s a wonder there aren’t more car crashes around this exhibits of insanity!

  13. Oh, the monkeys could take care of that for a few bunches of bananas. That’s all you need is common sense and desire.

  14. Not to get off on another tangent, but I’m confident that the big light bulbs of yesteryear were made in America, and giant inflatable panda bears in red tutu’s are made in Pakistan or Vietnam.

    On a side note, an old nighbor of mine locked horns with the township because they wouldn’t take his Christmas tree from the curb. The township grinds them up for mulch. The reason they would never take his? Because he left the light strands on the tree and bought new ones each year.

    Ho Ho Throw it away!

    Merry Christmas!

  15. My favorite of my neighborhood is the Santa who rides a bicycle and the wheels spin faster as the wind picks up. Thanks for my smiley face this morning :-)

  16. Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat.Com™ and commented:
    This is funny, true and should make your Christmas spirit rise by 5000 feet. Thank you Life With the Top Down, and thank you Ms. Elyse for alerting me to this blog.

  17. LOL I’m not a fan of inflatable yard decor. I like my fake-balsam garland, C7 lights and my Christmas “swag” on my gate.

  18. Apparently, you (or me, or anyone) too can be lawn dresser! hahahahahaha!!!!! xoxoM

  19. Thanks for stopping by and for the reblog. I must say it’s extra special coming from an ObamaCrat like myself!

  20. Oooo, I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing that one..yet. Thanks for stopping by, glad you got a smile!

  21. You are so right…we must stand together…enjoy the Holiday Season… ;-)

  22. I think we need to write up a background story for the poor Noel dino. Can’t we cross the Rudolph origin with Santa getting lost over the Land Of The Lost and needing a spare puller? Hey, if you can get a reindeer to fly, your anti-gravity tech must be pretty darn good – just upsize it! :D
    (Dropping in from Elyse. It’s her fault. ;) )

  23. These decorations are simply sublime; and bring a joyous chuckle – why not? Sanat is all things to all people and so why not a Penguin. Very nice post -thanks.
    merry christmas.

  24. Hilarious post.. I am always amazed by what some people call “in good taste”… My neighbor (childhood) used to put out these awful Gold-spray painted foam hands in prayer (they stood like 5 feet tall) and each year the birds pecked more and more of the foam until one year an entire finger was gone.. Those damn gold prayer hands still went in the yard..
    too funny this post!!

  25. That is straight up scary….hahahaha!

  26. the carousel inside the snow globe makes me think of the episode of Family Guy when Stewie is chained by the Disney Company to sing “It’s a Tiny World”…how will those things ever get out of there????

  27. Don’t hate the outhouse! Santa has to poop, too, you know.

  28. First-time visitor via Elyse … oh please, don’t hold that against me. Thanks for many laughs in this post. BTW – you will love the last pic in this post: http://adinparadise.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/thoughts-on-peace-and-christmas-decorations/

    Meanwhile, I invite you to my holiday party .. and yes, Elyse is there!

  29. Hahahahahahahaha! That was such a funny episode. Thanks for stopping by!

  30. Oh dear god! Hahahahaha! Thanks for stopping by.

  31. Penguins yes. Penguins in the back of a speed boat wearing a lift jacket…not so much. Haha. Thanks for stopping by!

  32. Thanks for stopping by John! You must be the birthday boy. I recognized you by your goat petting skills. I couldn’t agree more with the need for a back story for Noel (I can not stop laughing at the name) Honestly, his story needs to be told.

  33. Oh, dear god! Not only to I believe this thing exists, I believe there are jealous crowds forming. No doubt the talk of the trailer park. Thanks for stopping by and for the photo reminding me it could in fact be worse. Hahaha

  34. Small, simple & elegant that’s how to do it. I love the “swag” on the gate!

  35. I know someone, who lives in NJ and every year the tree with everything, even the ornaments hits the curb. Why? It’s easier than un-decorating. That is insanity!

    Enjoy all the festivities that Christmas brings!

  36. I think they are all in competition with the Macy’s parade! Some of the front yards of houses in my neighborhood look a bit like Disneyland too. Ho Ho Ho and Merry Christmas! I love your post. :)

  37. Whoa! I must get that Homer for my front lawn! If only he was also holding a giant beer mug.
    (I kid. A little)
    I am giggling at twindaddy’s “but Santa has to poop too, you know” comment.

  38. Love the pics! There is a website called uglychristmaslights.com. You’ll enjoy some of the weirder decorations there.

  39. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    Stenchivities – love it!

    Merry Christmas! :) Thanks for the laugh.

  40. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    ‘Stenchivities’ hee hee hee hee hee !

    Merry Christmas – thanks for the smile! :)

  41. Don’t buy one. There is a perfectly good one in my neighborhood that I would be happy to steal for you. Thanks for stopping by!

  42. A whole website devoted to the ugliness of Christmas….dear god…lol.

  43. No problem! Thanks for stopppng by.

  44. My neighbor with the lighted christmas cow would fit right in with your neighbors :)

  45. I love these. There is so much less decorating in my neighborhood over recent years and i really miss it. Love the fact that tacky and silly are in style for Christmas, that it is a chance for us all to be childish. Too fun, thanks for sharing.

  46. Love it! I need to take a picture of the inflatable pig with wings on it and send it to you. Of course, if it is still up when we return home… Hope you had a wonderful Christmas Top… thinking of you and hoping the rest of your holiday is wonderful. DAF

  47. Hideous, most of them. The second amendment snowman – good grief – well, he’ll melt after the first shot. I do like the festive dino, though. Cheers!

  48. Good Grief… where do you live? Thankfully, no one on this island has these… That I’ve seen anyway. I think you are right about the design team. Hilarious post.

    p.s. I’m so glad you have burned into my brain, the image of where Santa reads his letters! A new Christmas tradition has begun.

  49. Hell Ted….I live in Christmas hell…lol!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 548 other followers

%d bloggers like this: