This Girl Is On Fire

137711701075362310_S55hglJb_cAs 2012 heads out the door and the welcome wagon arrives with 2013 in tow, I can’t help but be reminded of how much I loathe the impending countdown to midnight. This goes way back to my childhood.  Also known as the “olden days” around these parts.

Over the years I remember staying up way past our bedtime filled with excitement. The anticipation would build up all day as we waited for midnight to arrive. Midnight sounded so forbidden. 

There was all sorts of hoopla surrounded with running outside to bang our pots & pans to ring in the new year. For god sakes we would argue over who would be banging the spaghetti pot…that just sounded a little dirty. Any who, I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the big fat let down that I got. Whomp..whomp.

I just never felt at ease cheering on as the new year made its grand entrance. Oh sure article-2254718-16ACB1C0000005DC-166_470x610there were years of kissing strangers at the stroke of 12 and chugging down champagne in celebration of all things new, but in the end New Years has always left me with a sadness of sorts, even before hearing the dreaded sounds of Auld Lang Syne. Too much champagne, a sad song and kissing strangers only leads to a good time you won’t remember.

Now that this celebration has turned into a full-blown fight to keep my eyes open until midnight, I must ask myself “Why do I even bother?”

Always the optimist am I’m holding out for something other than gloom and doom? Maybe. Is it going to happen? No, because repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting a different result is INSANITY. The insanity stops right here on the peak of 2012/2013!

Remember the Seinfeld episode when George realizes every decision he has ever made in his life is wrong so he decides to do the complete opposite? Well, that is what I have decided to do, starting with New Years Eve. Tonight when I’m tired, oh I am going to sleep..that’s right!

George Costanza was right when he said “I use to sit here and do nothing and regret it for the rest of the day so now I will do the opposite and do something!” Sounds like a plan to me George.

Soooo, tomorrow when I just want to lay around, I’m getting up to do something. Living the Slug Life is over! Cookies will be replaced 633784_7528934_lzwith fruit and vegetables, sitting will turn into walking and walking will eventually turn into running walking faster. Mwahahahaha the possibilities are endless! 

Black will be white, solids will be prints, sneakers will be stilettos sensible flats Note: this is only due to my large feet that already have me shopping in the “special” section at the far corner of the store with the Drag Queens. 

When my daughter says “I’m going out with insert ex-boyfriends name” I will happy-dog-forced-smile-freaky-1303555329nsmile and wish them a pleasant evening. Smile as in forced, followed by a very high-pitched “have a good time kids.” Baby steps people, baby steps. When my son approaches me with his famous mom, don’t freak out like you always do, BUT.” I won’t freak-out! I‘ll force my eyeballs to remain in my head while severing my tongue as I quietly watch his mouth move and my hair quickly turns to a fashionable shade of white. 

I always knew Seinfeld was a smart well written piece of work, but who knew the answers to all of my problems were hidden right there in an episode about opposites? I guess I just wasn’t ready to hear that message during the first thousand times it aired. Better late than never folks, better late than never.

Cheers to 2013! I hope I am sleeping soundly when you arrive with your entourage of bells & whistles tonight, so I can wake up tomorrow fresh as a daisy ready to live my opposite life. This girl is on fire! 

Adios 2012 it’s been real! 

2013 is coming fast so let’s get ready to Enjoy the Ride!

Best Wishes for a Happy, Healthy & Prosperous New Year Friends! 

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34 responses

  1. You could do what we did when we were little and my grandma told us it was midnight at 8 and we banged our hearts out on those pots and pans. Happy new year!!! Thanks for being you….

  2. Ever since I started watching “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, I can’t enjoy Seinfeld anymore.

  3. For the record, I won’t fight you for rights to bang the spaghetti pot. It’s all yours.

  4. Seinfeld was genius writing and my life is a different episode of that show every day.

  5. That’s the word amongst my family members who have HBO. You would fit right in!

  6. Soooo….what happens when you want to blog?

  7. Hahahahahaha…being the youngest had its perks, but not when it came to the big pots.

  8. I’ve already got the freakishly large feet. Save me a seat at the holiday table – I’ll be right over!

  9. Happy New Year to you! I am taking a nap so I can stay awake tonight…
    Toooooooot!

  10. You are preaching to the choir…I walk around with scripts in my head. Thanks for stopping by!

  11. Hahahahaha…it’s so sad. By the way, my name is Lisa.

  12. See you in the tranny aisle at DSW!

    Happy New Year!

  13. I just blog, because that is the opposite of being unhappy. It’s great when you can just make up rules as you go along.

  14. Oh, sweet! Calvinball!!!

  15. I blog too because it is the opposite of being unhappy–never thought about it that way before but it is true

  16. Hahahahahahaha…Oh, I’ve been there along with Candy Ass and Tess Tosterone.

  17. I can’t even find mens shoes in my damn size, I’m not likely to go looking for pumps anytime soon. Though it sounds like fun.

  18. ps: On the dance floor, I’ve been told I channel Elaine. Not super proud of it. ;)

  19. Happy New Year, Tops. And I think taking cues from sit comedies is the way to go. I plan to live my life according to “I Love Lucy”

  20. Hahahahahahaha! You should be proud, that doesn’t look very easy.

  21. I cracked up at ‘banging the spaghetti pot’! Please don’t replace the cookies! NOT THE COOKIES!
    But good luck on everything else! Happy 2013!

  22. Too funny. My kids gave me a Seinfeld disk set of Season 8. I like Seinfeld, but it has to be in small doses, as the characters do not have many redeeming qualities. Doing the opposite should fare you well. Take care. BTG

  23. Congratulations on making every day Opposite Day! It’s pretty fun ;)

  24. free penny press

    Opposites attract, or so I’ve been told.. yes. do the opposite two-step into 2013 and tell 2012 Bu-Bye!!

    Happy New Year to you funny lady ;-)

  25. I think you’re on to something here with the opposite thing! I only wish I’d read this yesterday, followed your lead and gone to bed early. But noooo, I stayed up till 3, drank Margaritas then rum & cokes, then champagne not to mention ate everything in my friends kitchen! I’m certain I gained 5 lbs and my head will implode at some point today!
    I hope this year brings you health & wealth… You are already blessed with love & happiness :) another fantastic blog my friend! Happy New Year!

  26. Hahahahaha oh dear lord. If you’re gonna do it, do it big. Thanks and right back at you : )

  27. I remember Seinfeld being dissed by a critic because the characters never did anything. Honestly, who ever does anything? Sure, we do our jobs, raise the kids, get the groceries and make dinner, but that’s so we can sit around an jaw, right? Hope you went to sleep when you were tired. Living on the west coast, we’re lucky. We adopt New York time for the evening. Ta da. Bed by 10. Happy New Year!

  28. Fast asleep at midnight, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 7:30 – great way to start the year! xoxoM

  29. I am so grateful that I just live my routine life. I honestly don’t think I could handle any more crazy than routine crazy.
    Just another perk of living west my friend! Have a happy, healthy & prosperous New Year!

  30. Happy New Year to you too! Hubby & I did the same thing we do every evening – watched TV while working at our laptops. Hubby noticed it was midnight when our Xmas lights on the balcony went off (they are on a timer to go off at midnight). So we leaned over & kissed, wished each other a Happy New Year & went back to doing what we were doing before midnight. We’re so exciting!

  31. Sounds about as festive as my evening. Happy New Year to you!

  32. Yeah, late to the party. That’s what happens when you ignore your Email in favour of shoveling snow. C’est la vie!
    Here’s hoping 2013 brings you all things wonderful – and patience galore! :D

  33. Reblogged this on cftc10.

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