P.W.E.E.

a611f924fdd97685ea092e94e7c58c5dThere is so much hubbub out there about the Government spying on average law-abiding citizens, but honestly I’m not sure what all the outrage is about. I was trying to think when the last time was that I actually had an ounce of privacy and I’ve concluded it was during those 9 glorious months in the womb. Peace on earth.

Once you’re exposed to this big bad world all bets are off regarding privacy. If you grew up in a house with other people a/k/a family members, you better believe your phone calls were being listened to by someone in that house. This task was not easy in the 70’s when your phone receiver weighed a good 50 pounds. 

Even though we didn’t have Facebook, we did have diaries with “locks” that were easier to pick than a nose, which were also much less private. Parents could easily walk into your room, lay on your bed with a glass of wine, light up a cigarette and enjoy all of your deep dark secrets. All privacy bets were off when you lived under the roof of old-school parents. 

If you are a parent or have ever been in the company of small children forget about EVER having a secret again. Kids 7a6d0c06c37c5db6701d882985deb8cdtend to follow you everywhere and drill you with the most personal questions with ease and endless resilience. “Where do babies come from?” “Why does Billy have 2 moms/dads?” “Why is the sky blue?” “Where are all the dinosaurs?” “What does God look like?” “How old are you?” “Did you live on a prairie?” “Why don’t girls have jiggies?” Even the most skilled interrogators don’t tread in those waters. Oh and please be selective in your responses because your answers will be shared with anyone who will listen!

This does not include what they overhear you saying. Oh, they are so good acting as if they are just playing quietly while you are discussing the outrageous overprotectiveness of a certain mother on the block. Who needs drones when you have these stealth listeners around? The three small words “My mom said” have the power to leave even the strongest of parents groveling for an explanation.

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Ok Brian thank you for …. sharing.

I had the pleasure of volunteering in my son’s pre-school class, which just happened to be a Christian run school. Let me just say that what happens in your house, does not stay in your house. It will be shared during Circle Time faster than you can say animal crackers! The subject on this particular day was discussing the dangers of smoking. There was a request for a raise of hands on who knew someone who smoked. This gave little Brian his golden opportunity to reveal “My mommy has  3 boyfriends 2 that smoke and 1 that doesn’t. I go in the closet when the smoking boyfriends come over.” Three year olds have a way of throwing their parents under the bus like no other age group. Honest to God there are moments in my life that will never be forgotten…this is high on that list mainly due to the look on  Mrs. Gumble’s face.

The reason I’m even discussing privacy or the lack there of in this world? Well, that would be because a certain member of my family is either working for the NSA,FBI,CIA,KGB … I probably just opened a big ole door publishing those trigger initials, or he is so head over heels in love with my every waking moment that he feels the need to make sure he doesn’t miss a second of my every day life. I’m leaning towards the latter, but who really knows. That’s right ladies & gents I’m talking about P.W.E.E . Peanut Watches Every Everything a/k/a Peanut the Maltipoo!

Here are just a few examples of how the P.W.E.E. operates:

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Whatcha writing about?

Does your life really consist of folding laudrey every dang day?

I love the way you fold the laundry momma. I could watch you roll those socks for hours.

You took exceptionally long in the shower this morning.

I could watch you blow dry your hair every day and never be bored…oh, wait that’s what I do.

You will never be alone again.

I’ll just watch you while you watch the Voice.

I'll get the bed warmed up for you.

I’ll get the bed warmed up for you.

I don't always watch you, but when I do I make sure I sit like a human and glare you down.

I don’t always stare at you, but when I do I make sure I sit like a human and glare you down until you summon me to cuddle.

Just remember, you never know who’s watching so make it watch worthy and Enjoy the Ride! 

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26 responses

  1. Of course, we must always remember J. Edgar Hoover, who not only spied on people, but he liked to let them know he did, so they would behave. On the large family and no secrets, if you want to get people to listen in intently, all you need to do is whisper. By the way, great comparative pictures between Dr. Evil and the NSA official.

  2. Peanut is as cute as a button. All the more to suspect him of spying on you and passing the info onto the Secret Pet Cabal to Run Human Lives. I couldn’t come up with a better acronym.

  3. I am so glad you have Peanut! He is precious! My oldest’s kindergarten teacher told us at orientation, “I’ll believe half of what I hear if you believe half of what you hear.” Thought that was classic knowledge. Also, the receivers weighed a ton, were connected to the phone and we had a party line… always fun to listen to… Great post!

  4. Cats are like that too. We have a half bath downstairs and if you don’t make sure you latch the door, some four-legged creature will push it open. There you are, sitting on the throne, looking into the back yard and if anyone’s in the backyard, they are looking back.

  5. Oh, Peanut is sooooooooo cute. I am aching for a dog, but John wants to sit until spring. Sigh..

    But I’ve long wondered what the fuss is all about with monitoring. He’ll, the whole world now knows I want a dog. I’m sure I’ll have ads for that as soon as I finish this comment!

  6. Great read ! You can’t hide anything from Peanut !

  7. Now that is a cute Peanut! We used to have a cat that would watch us do something and had to know what we were doing. Even if it was folding laundry. Then lay on it.

  8. Ah Peanut has the perfect ruse! Looking at you innocently – with a heavy complement of cuteness to fortify his clandestine efforts. Spying out in the open – that takes tremendous skill… ;-) And yes, everything is shared at Circle Time as I recall…

  9. You are too funny!!! Poor little Brian, his mommy was a ho!! :)

  10. Peanut is so adorable and four year olds will repeat everything you say. Who needs the nsa?

  11. Those innocent eyes get me every time. There are no boundaries in Circle Time…lol

  12. He is a little cutie pie! The glares make my son uncomfortable, which makes me wonder what Peanut has witnessed…lol

  13. I can’t wait for you to get a new pupper!

  14. Hahaha! I spared you all the bathroom invasion, where he lays on my feet….seriously obsessed.

  15. Hahaha! Pre School & Kindergarten teachers could be best selling authors with all that good material. Kids are hilarious!

  16. I better get some of those royalties for all of the material I’ve been providing. lol

  17. People act like spying is something new…please. I was cracking up at the Dr. Evil photo…secretly one of my favorite movies.

  18. Laughing..I totally get it!

  19. Me too. We will have my niece’s dog over Thanksgiving, and that will feel very good. I miss the cold noses … among other things.

  20. I thought you were describing He-Who there for awhile. How embarrassing. Now I know when I shout at him to, “Stop following me around like a puppy” that, that is really what he is doing.

  21. Super cute doggie pics!

  22. I loved your post. It gave me a good laugh and reminded me of those days back when I voluntered in my daughter’s classrooms. Oh yes, I heard things that I am sure certain paerents didn’t want others to hear! Thanks for mreminding me of those fun days!

  23. Thanks for stopping by! The memories started flooding back when I was writing this and seemed like yesterday. Glad you had fun days to remember too!!

  24. I so miss having a dog around to follow me everywhere I go & everything I do with his eyes. It’s nice to know someone really cares about every little thing you do.

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