When Harry, Norman & Robert Met Lisa

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Three wise men walked into a Podiatrist office. No, this is not the beginning of a joke about aging feet, it’s the story of one of the best days I’ve had at work in a long time.

Let me introduce you to Harry, Norman & Robert. Three interesting, intelligent and inspiring men who walked into the office, dropped some wisdom and went about their day.

Harry -83 years young:  Harry is a recent surgery patient with a wonderful sense of humor.

When he came in for his first post-op appointment he said, and I quote: “I want to thank Lisa for answering all of my questions, she is a fountain of knowledge.” I asked him to call my children to inform them of that fact, he thought I was kidding … I was not.

Believe it or not, the accurate conclusion that Harry made about me was not what captured my heart. But, it certainly didn’t hurt.

Harry told me that he volunteers in a first-grade classroom, and has been doing it for years. He was so happy that the teacher had the class send him Get Well wishes after his surgery, but there was a catch, they had to include a joke. Laughter is the best medicine.

This gesture filled Harry’s heart. He told me that he enjoys volunteering in the First Grade classroom because it gives him the joy to see these children enter the door not certain what to expect and leave with confidence.

He went on to explain that he has a special bond with this teacher. Harry lost his son years ago in November, just when this teacher was getting married. One young life ending as one began.

Shortly after the teacher was married she found out she was expecting and 3 months into the pregnancy her new husband died suddenly. Grief, let me introduce you to grief.

Their losses brought them together and they are wonderful friends who helped each other heal. He’s been volunteering ever since.

83 years old, still thinking, still living and still making a mark in this world.

Norman-86 years young: He came to us a few months ago via his family doctor, which is never good, and let’s just say that “the little piggy that went to the market” never came back.

When he called the other day he was very nervous that “the little piggy that stayed home” was on its way out too so we made room on the schedule. Podiatry office humor.

Norman came in as if he was the guest of honor at a celebration, not someone with a potential gangrenous toe.

He was wearing a Villanova cap to “make the doctor happy” since his daughter is a student and it was the day of the championship game. Well played Norman, well-played indeed.

Norman was excited to reveal he had recently written a paper on aging. When I took him to the exam room I had to inquire about the paper. I was very curious.

I was thinking he wrote it for the AARP magazine. Nope, he said, “I wrote it for my family, I want them to know how quickly it comes up on you.” A warning of sorts.

The title of the paper is “Getting Old Is Not For Sissies.” Norman told me he stole that line from Bette Davis, an actress I wouldn’t know because, and I quote “you’re too young to remember her.” He had me at “too young.”

Norman still can’t believe he is 86. He doesn’t recognize the person in the mirror. Still has a lot to share with this world. Has an incredible sense of humor, and wants nothing more than for his family to be happy.

Norman is going to drop off a copy of the paper for me to read. No worries, I will share.

Robert-91 years young: Robert came in for a routine appointment. As soon as he came to the window he showed my co-worker a photo of him and his wife from 1941. They looked like movie stars.

Robert is a tall man, but frail. No doubt more so since he lost the love of his life. He told my co-worker a story that left them both with watery eyes.

Later I asked her about it and of course I too was left with watery eyes. We’re so sappy sometimes.

Robert explained that he and his wife were sitting at the kitchen table and she asked: “How long have we been married?” Robert responded with “65 years dear.” Her response was “I have not regretted one day in 65 years.” Robert explained that even though she is gone, he is still stunned by her words. He is a walking, talking broken heart.

I was also taken back by my co-workers response to Robert which was “It was nice to be able to hear that Robert.”  Indeed, it was.

I must say, it was a pleasure to pick-up these three men while I … Enjoy the Ride!

 

4 Loose Tiles

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What was once the yard

There has been a lot of activity  going on here at the homestead. 23 years and not one has passed without some sort of project, so why should this year be any different. Because maybe I need a break.

I had no idea about this project until I saw the sketches. Notice that is plural.

One minute I’m attending an open house, and the next there are steel beams being erected in my yard. Confused? Me too.

Sooooooo, after a very long process the ground was broken, just in time for the holidays. Thank you Mother Nature. 

What woman doesn’t want to clean-up never ending dirt during the holidays? The answer is … NONE OF THEM!

My friends, neighbors and anyone who sees our house, constantly remind me how “lucky” I am to have such a “handy guy.” Handy is fixing a pipe, I have someone who sees a mantle inside of a tree stump. 

It’s not that I’m ungrateful or that I won’t be over the moon with the results, it’s the lonely road in between that does me in. I’m a Home Improvement Widow!

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Lisa

During these periods of “tinkering”, we can sit in the same room and one of us (not me) has no recollection of that period of time.Why? Because the wheels are spinning at a rate that I cannot even recognize. I’m surprised he doesn’t explode.

My life from now until the last stroke of the paintbrush will be solo. My other half is officially consumed into his project. His creative juices are percolating and his magic is about to be unleashed. Meanwhile over here ….

Legos for adults should really be a thing.

As if this enormous project wasn’t enough to occupy every waking moment, we had a recent mishap in our bathroom. 4 loose tiles to be exact. Remember that line. 

The solution to this was put the masterpiece outback on hold, take a week of vacation time to “fix” the bathroom and you’ll be taking a shower in a week he said….

We only have one bathroom with a shower. The other bathroom has a beautiful spa tub. You know that saying “too much of a good thing won’t be good” it’s like that.

On the Saturday before the big fix I asked, and I quote: “Are you going to paint?” the response, which will be used by me every chance I get from now, until well … forever was “Yes, I’m going to paint.”

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4….Loose….Tiles

By the time I returned home Monday there was, let’s just say much more progress than I expected. Shock and awe were more like it.

There were FOUR loose tiles people.

Yes, he said he was going to “rearrange” the toilet and the sink.

No, he did NOT say anything about demolition … AT ALL! He said he was going to paint!!!

Needless to say, the week came and went. Progress is being made, but I’m still not showering or murdering.

The tile is down. The molding is up. The shower is on BACK ORDER. The toilet, sink and walls have not been spotted, but my patience is still intact. Hanging by a thread…but still on.

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It’s all about balance

My favorite part about all of this is using my new Super Power. That’s right folks, the line “you said you were going to paint” is my new go to for everything ever wanted by yours truly.

Me: I think I’m going to order new cushions for the patio.

Hubby: Do we really need them?

Me:  You said you were going to paint. They arrive Tuesday.

I just love the Yin/Yang of life!

Enjoy the Ride!

 

 

 

Donald

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At this point in my life, why do I continue to let my Inner Critic rise to the occasion to spew its negativity? Really, it needs to just shut up!

The other day I was stretching at the gym when I noticed this young woman staring at me. For the record, the inner critic loves to come to the gym.

Now, I could have thought that she was admiring my flexibility, but nooooo not when I have the asshole in tow. 

Immediately I assumed she was looking at my faults. We all know spandex does not lie. When you wear it at 52, after years of abusing yourself with food and bearing children …. it screams the truth.

We made eye contact, exchanged awkward smiles and moved along. The smile was f17ad66469e2d358214941c55d215844received as sympathy for my flaws. Without one piece of evidence.

Later in the workout I noticed her looking in my direction  …. again!  I should have been thinking that perhaps she was looking for a date, but no not with the good ole critic by my side. It was all about body shaming from that one.

I allowed these negative thoughts to grow throughout the workout. I was ridiculously self-conscience the entire time. As if the struggle isn’t hard enough, I had to dodge some extra punches.

After the hour was over and the stretching complete, the young woman sheepishly approaches me. Mind you she was built like an instructor, not a client, so I assumed she was nervous about how she was going to be brutally honest with me. If only negative thoughts burned calories … I would be transparent.

There I stood waiting for the punch. Feeling horrible about everything spandex, everything about the workout and everything about myself. Defeat at its highest power.

This is what went down:

Young Woman:  Oh hi I was just wondering where you get your hair cut. I saw you last week and loved your cut and I’m looking for a change.

Me:  What did you say? I blamed my shock o the music.

Young Woman:  I was just asking where you get your hair cut I love it! 

Me:  Gave her all the details and made her very happy. 

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My new attitude

By the time I got to the car I was furious with myself. I could not believe I put my accomplishments in the back seat while this miserable ass drove me to the point of such defeat.  My inner critic has a name, and I think it might be Donald, after another ass I know who continuously spews negative energy. 

Think about it….

No more trips to the past for me. Been there, done that.

No more beating myself up over my looks.

No more insecurities.

 

It’s all about moving forward to crush my goals like the badass rockstar from Mars that I know I am! Yes, that is the sound of someone wearing their positive pants.

I’m off to let my fabulous hair blow in the wind while I  ….. Enjoy the Ride!

Quote: thejealouscurator.com; Photo: Huffington Post

 

Spring, With A Side Of Summer

Spring has sprung here in Philly, with a side of Summer.

Oh, there is chatter about “it” not being over, but “it” doesn’t matter once the thermometer reaches 80. Tootles Old Man Winter, until we meet again.

I’ve put together a little photo essay for the turn of seasons, even though it’s not official for a few more weeks.

First up …. Squirrels

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Bonjour!

Meet Sebastien a/k/a the nemesis to my two little innocent fur angels.

Sebastian L O V E S to just sit, stare and mock from the comforts of my deck furniture.

Yesterday, as Landon was barking his face off, Sebastien was enjoying a croissant on my swing. A croissant? 

When I catch him in his beret smoking a cigarette and demanding a refill, I’ll be sure to share that photo. Where the hell did he get that croissant?

Flowers

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Hello World!

Everything is getting greener, with a splash of pink, purple & yellow of course.

You can always depend on the Crocus’s to arrive early to the party with a little hope in tow. They are certainly survivors and they never disappoint.  I think they might be my spirit flower ….

These perfect beauties were posted to FaceBook by my friend. Feel free to smile.

I’ll just be over hear scratching my eyes and blowing my nose. Allergies…the dark side of Spring.

Love

Oh yes, it’s true. While wildlife in my yard has been handing out cigars like the Duggars, my little Pee-Wee (Peanut) that has fallen hard right here in the house.

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Took the Lady right out of this bug!

It’s Dogs Gone Wild over here at LWTTD!

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What?

Peanut suddenly started taking trips upstairs. He prefers to be carried like the King he is, so that raised a brow. Peanut sauntered down with a little swagger in his step. The only thing missing was the silk robe, cigarette & martini. 

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There is nothing to see here … move along.

Like the good mother I am, I stalked his next trip. Sure enough, I caught him shacking up with a stuffed Lady Bug. Mother’s intuition is rarely wrong.

What I did not expect was the all out orgy I witnessed with the Lady Bug, Phillie Phanatic and the Scholar Owl. Or the fact that I yelled, “what are you doing?!”

Is this my life now? Hiding stuffed animals before I leave the house … apparently it is. 

Peanut the poker-faced PLAYHA.

 

Honestly, the best part about this glorious weather has been open windows and sunbeams, just ask Landon. 

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I stay away from stuffed animals, but I bark at air. 

Looks like today will be another beauty … Enjoy the Ride!

Weapons Of Mass Destruction Have A Face

Giving-Pledge-Words_thumbNothing better to push me to write than a big ole “Happy Anniversary” from WordPress. Yep, it appears that I entered the Blogosphere 4 years ago today. Time flies when you’re having fun.

In the spirit of writing, today I would like to touch on the power of words.

Remember this old saying:  “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Yea, it’s the biggest piece of BS ever written. 

Words are capable of growing, changing and spreading. They have even been known to influencing our world, for good or evil; and they have the power to hurt us directly or indirectly through others. Today more than ever.

I never thought about a word being “alive” but when I think of words spoken through history, written down and passed through generations, they seem to resurrect when read or spoken today.

For instance, when I listen to the powerful speeches of John F. Kennedy and Martin Lutherimages King, Jr. I can feel their words reaching out and raising me to my feet some 50 years later. That folks is how it’s done.

The words of these men were delivered with such strength and passion you could practically feel a gentle hand on your shoulder. Today it’s more of a shove.

“Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country” ~ John F. Kennedy

Now, let’s fast forward to today…..

WTF

We are living in a time were our words, whether truthful or lies, courageous or weak, kind or hateful, have the ability to be heard, in some cases by the world, within seconds of leaving our minds via our mouths, phones and computers. We have the POWER!

Instead, we allow the Media to abuse their responsibility by silencing the good and sensationalizing the FUCKERY.

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

On the heels of the Republican “Debate”, I have been struck by a revelation regarding the power of words and the authority they can have over our lives. As a firm believer in our First Amendment, Freedom of Speech, I am stunned at the recent abuse of its power. No doubt good ole #1 crumbled itself up last night and headed for the nearest incinerator before the first commercial break. 

Why have we allowed this to continue beyond the F I R S T hateful message?

Why have we allowed O N E person to shine a spotlight on the worst of us?

Why have we allowed the media to continue to sensationalize this mess?

Why the FUCK aren’t we in the streets stopping it?

27b4ea021f2c548371dc500bc8733282The answer to all of these questions is Complacency: a feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better.

Although I don’t believe we don’t want things to be different, I do believe we have become a society of dependent thinkers. A group of people who want someone else to fix things for us and a society that frowns upon people who take it to the streets to protest injustices. Sheeple 

In the end, we have no one to blame but ourselves. When we get the urge to point fingers, we better head to the nearest mirror.

Honestly, I’m not afraid of terrorist attacks, ISIS, bombs, mass shootings, Mexicans, Muslims or any other fears that are fueling our current hateful fire, but I am very afraid of living in a society that promotes, encourages and allows it to be exploited. That is some real shit to fear. 

“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.” –Robert Frost

Today, the most powerful weapon of mass destruction has a face. It’s orange, with bad hairfc5599bb6bbe9b95d7634a5793bc58e7 and a vile mouth. It uses words to fuel anger. It uses words to feed its ego. It uses words to divide this nation. It uses words to make others feel small, and worst of all it’s CONTAGIOUS!

This is our biggest threat and it didn’t cross a border, it was created by the Republican party and grew into the monster it is by our complacency.

The good news is there is a way to put an end to this shit show; stop participating in it. Unfortunately, we have become a nation addicted to crazy, so this is not going to be easy. 

Enjoy the Ride … on the Crazy Train.  All aboard!

 

 

 

 

Jack Frost, This Is Not A Threesome

What a week!

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A Toast To Us!

We celebrated our 25th Anniversary a/k/a the Silver Anniversary on Valentine’s Day. Getting married on the one day when everyone comes together to celebrate love seemed like a good idea at the time. Not so much every year since when we try to get a dinner reservation.

Our son turned 21 on Wednesday and I turned my legal age on Friday. My mental age varies from 17 to 35. 

My husband surprised me with a weekend in NYC, knowing there is a strong possibility that I might adore this town more than him. He was a NYC virgin, so he wanted to check out his competition.

As you have probably heard by now, last weekend was the coldest on record. On RECORD!

These two lovebirds grabbed a big suitcase, loaded it as if we we heading to the Antarctic and hit the road. Nothing says sexy like a pair of long johns, said no one ever.

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The Man I love in the City I Love

We arrived Friday afternoon when the weather was tolerable. After a nice meal at Sardi’s, followed by cocktails and dessert, we headed out to explore all the tourist spots. I do believe my boots earned travel miles.

It was spectacular! Watching my husband love it as much as me was priceless.

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Chelsea Market

The next day we bundled up for a walk to The Chelsea Market. Walking allowed us to take in some of the world-class architecture that makes this section so special. I could see the hubby’s wheels turning with every piece of wrought iron.

We spent hours in the Market experiencing everything edible. Breakfast at Sarabeth’s, Halva at Seed & Mill, and a little something sweet for later from Li-Lac Chocolates. There are no calories when you’re celebrating love.

When we stepped outside Jack Frost was there nipping at everything nipable. TAXI! 

Greg wanted to go to Ground Zero, I could have passed on this stop, but I strapped my loved goggles on a little tighter and made the best of it. It was just a little too somber for me.                         

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Lady Liberty Freezing Her Torch Off

This part of town sits right on the Hudson River, which is not exactly a warm spot. There are no words to describe the wind and cold. Wait .. I can think of two, and they both start with F! 

In order to thaw, we blew across the street to Brookfield Place, where I was greeted by a dog wearing beautiful leather boots and a Burberry coat. All I’m going to say about this place is, if it weren’t for my soul, I would really enjoy living like the 1%. 

Still shivering, we sat down in PJ Clarke’s to enjoy a bowl of soup, sip a cocktail or two, and admire Lady Liberty in the harbor. My poor girl out there in a dress with no coat!

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Our Attempt At A Selfie

We ended this weekend sipping champagne, singing along with The Jersey Boys, eating cupcakes in bed and enjoying each other’s company. My cupcake never tasted so good.

The celebrations continue today with a birthday dinner for Zachary and mwah. We are looking forward to breaking with our offspring and their significant others. I’m sure they’re looking forward to us picking up the check!  

Cheers to the last 7 days! The brightest spot of winter so far!

Enjoy the Ride!

 

 

 

Womb Service

Live To Eat

Some people eat to live, while others live to eat. What about you? How far would you travel for the best meal of your life?

Hmm…this is an interesting question. The only time I even considered going to the ends of the earth for food was when I was pregnant. Travel, kill, maim they’re all the same … right?

All I know is when these hormonal tastebuds spoke, I listened. Womb service is no joke.

Every single day I HAD to have Kellogg’s Raisin Bran cereal or someone was going to die. Not in an OCD kinda way, but in a murderous sort of way.

Then there was the pasta salad served at a little place several blocks from my building that was as necessary as air during this pregnancy. Rain or shine, snow or sleet, I was getting that damn salad! 

Anyone who has ever been with child, or in the presence of someone in this position, knows when the baby wants a ham & swiss cheese sandwich with mustard slathered between two pieces of Jewish rye, you better get it, even if it’s 8 a.m. Hormones do not wear watches.

At the time of my first pregnancy, I was working at a very large law firm in Philadelphia.   I had the BEST secretary in the world. She was 100% Italian, which meant she knew how to feed the masses or me when necessary. If the baby started making ridiculous demands at random times during the day. She delivered.

She was my Foody Godmother.

One day I just mentioned a cake that I had at some point in my life, the next thing I knew her brother was standing at my desk with a bakery box. Bam!

If I wanted a juicy navel orange in the middle of February, which I did for most of the month, I got it. I didn’t ask questions, I just ate.

So, to answer the question: I wouldn’t necessarily travel for the best meal of my life, but I certainly would enjoy if it magically appeared on my plate. 

Mangia! 

Enjoy the Ride …

 

 

 

Open Wide

Roaring Laughter

“What was the last thing that gave you a real, authentic, tearful, hearty belly laugh? Why was it so funny?”

This question is by far one of the easiest I’ve ever had to answer. I am what some might consider an easy laugh and they’re right.

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By: Thomas Barbey

My answer to this question came on Friday, February 5th while sitting in, are you ready? the dentist chair. How many people can say that?

I’ve been going to my dentist for years. My mouth is a dental Disneyland so it’s a win/win. Always exciting, always something new, and always guaranteed cash. What’s not to love about that?

We really have a wonderful relationship, especially now that I’ve put both his children through college, and I’m currently helping him with a real estate deal in Center City. I’m such a giver … really. 

Well, on Friday I was going in for a quick $418.00 visit. Off with the temporary cap, on with the permanent one. In and out. Nothing ever goes according to plan with this mouth.

As he was getting started he signaled his assistant to get the suction going, but something was off about the conversation. I could tell he was getting frustrated. Um because I was right there with my mouth opened like the Holland Tunnel listening. 

Dentist:  Are you hungry?

Me:  I motioned “no” with my head.  Since I had a hand, vacuum, and some sort of light in my mouth at the time. I followed up with a shrug which was my way of asking “why?”

Dentist:  You seem to have a lot of saliva today. The suction can’t keep up. I’m about to bring in the wet vac.

Me: Lost it!

Dentist & Assistant:  Lost it!

** The rest of this conversation took place through laughter, which just made it funnier, which led to yet more laughter.**

Dentist:  Can you swallow?

Me:  Not without drowning.

Dentist: Bite down on this. A small piece of cotton.

Me:  You might want to get something more absorbent. Just the thought of a roll of Bounty in my mouth cracked me up.

Dentist:  I hate to say this … rinse out.

Me:  Practically crying with laughter.

Dentist:  In my entire career I never had to change gloves in the middle of a procedure.

Me:  Laughing at his now serious manner. Well, I got 99 problems, but extra saliva isn’t one of them.

Everyone:  Uncontrollable laughter

Enjoy the ride! 

How Low Can You Go?

Tell us about the most exciting big night out you had recently.

Imagine sitting in your kitchen on a Sunday afternoon, just 2 days after Christmas, trying to muster up the incentive clean-up the holiday aftermath, and go food shopping. The struggle was real.

In the distance, I heard a faint ding a/k/a as the diversion. 

I reacted like the trained lab rat I am and sprinted to find my phone.

Hmm, a private message from my BFF on Facebook, always intriguing, this time, it was like hitting a lottery.

Low and behold an old friend of hers, and a new friend of mine invited us to her East Coast wedding celebration.

The ding was received at 12:59 and the party started at 3:00.

While part of me was starting the car, the other part was anchored down with all she had to do. Celebrating love or food shopping? Once I said that out loud it was a no brainer.

Guess what? Milk can be purchased any ole time, but these friends were only here from California for the holidays. They came to celebrate their fabulous union with their East Coast peeps, and we were fortunate enough to be included in the festivities.

Needless to say, by some sort of miracle, we were both gussied up and drinking a cocktail by 3:30!! I even did my nails … it’s still a mystery.

When you say yes the universe helps you.  Dan Brule

Did I mention this was a gay wedding? Well, it was. Let me just say to the heterosexual crowd … THE BAR HAS BEEN RISEN. Game on people, game on.

We ate, danced, laughed, danced, laughed, danced, laughed …. you get the picture.

Here are a few photos of the shenanigans  fabulous time that I wanted to last all night long.

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Cheers!

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Selfie Station Shenanigans With the BFF

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The Happiness With One Of The Brides

 

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This Is What Fun Looks Like

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The Photo That Keeps On Giving

After the glitter settled I was suddenly crippled. Apparently I sprained my gluteus medius. How did this happen you ask? Well, that was determined through a conversation with the bestie and confirmed by an Orthopedic doctor.

Me: I’m crippled! I can just about walk. I think it’s from dancing.

Bestie: Did you go too low?

Me: Laughter! What?

Bestie: When the DJ said, “How low can you go?” Did you go too low?

Me:  Laughter! It was at the seriousness of the question.

Bestie:  Joined in on the laughter and added: “you go low all of the time at the gym.”

Me:  Well, If I’m a cripple, I’m glad it’s from something as fun as going too low.

Me & Bestie:  Laughter!

0856954c92e33680ca1bbc0235a04e50The lesson here folks is to make sure you say YES more often. Saying NO is safe, but lord knows it’s dull. Challenge yourself! Easier said than done, but necessary.

Say “yes” to new experiences, new people and new adventures. You’ll be surprised at how much you learn about yourself just by agreeing to learn about someone or something else. Learning is good.

If I played it safe with this invitation, sure I might have had milk for my cereal in the morning, but I would never have these amazing memories, not to mention this meme. Milk is highly overrated anyway.

Say YES and Enjoy the Ride!

 

Revolution? Nobody Has Time For That!

In light of all the chit-chat out there about revolting, I thought it was appropriate to resurface this truth bomb.

Life With The Top Down

0050_soap_box3I’ve been trying to get up on this damn soap box all week, but I kept getting distracted by one piece of insanity after the other. So here I am, finally **tap pssh tap** I hope you can all hear me out there in Blogosphere and beyond. Ok, here we go…..

I need to address the escalated chatter I’ve been hearing lately in regards to a Revolution of some sort that is prompting people to run out and purchase firearms. People, I might add, who have NEVER owned a gun in their life. Everyone suddenly wants a weapon for “protection” for this Revolution. Really? Have these people ever tried to organize a group of people for a cause? Please!

You can call me crazy, but I’m going to provide you with a little scenario explaining why I believe there will NOT be a Revolution.

SCENE SETTING: The rally is being held in…

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