Second ride in the MLC with the top down was quite a ride. Again, nothing special just each other on a beautiful day, new tunes for our listening pleasure, a bite to eat and then back to reality. It was such a beautiful day that we were able to eat outside in Doylestown. Across the street was the Mercer and Fonthill Museums, which are beautiful buildings that look like castles. I had the displeasure of touring them while chaperoning school trips with my kids. However, my husband had never been there, but I wasn’t going back. Honestly, after visiting them while trying to keep an eye on (8 ) kids under the age of 10, why would I ever want to relive that experience? No, we wouldn’t be there on a school trip, but I have been tarnished from that memory, or so I thought. Greg was asking me questions about what they had, blah blah blah. As he was talking, I just loaded up the artillery and destroyed any thought whatsoever of entering that building. I calmly expressed why I didn’t want to go with the following explanation:
“Please, they have a bunch of old stuff that I have no interest in knowing about…I love not being a pioneer. The only thing I remember is we went on this tour about Frontier Life. The tour guide was dressed in full Pioneer garb and she spoke in colonial tongue. Honest to God the woman never came out of character! I was hoping to catch her sitting in the back of one of the cabins drinking Jack Daniels, smoking cigarettes and bitching about her job. We toured a cabin that was re-invented to represent a home on the frontier. Well, I am 5’10” and really, other than a family of lawn gnomes, I’m not sure who else could be occupying that space. It was at least 500 degrees, the kids (and me) were bored to death, I looked like a sweating Sasquatch in a Keebler Elf dwelling and the tour guide was talking in a language that only she understood. Finally, one of the kids asked a question “Is your butt really big or are you wearing a bunch of clothes?” (Christopher L. will always have a warm place in my heart.) There wasn’t a drink big enough after that adventure!”
In this moment the only thing missing was me laying on the ground kicking and screaming. He just looked at me and said “are you gonna be alright? So, needless to say we did not venture over to the museum and I did feel a little guilty because Greg loves this sort of thing, especially the architecture.
Why did I dismiss this moment of quality time based on my past experience? Once I judged the “idea” with a negative memory I erected a barrier and I didn’t allow myself to entertain the idea of just being in the moment. Clearly, it was my loss on what could have been…I can’t get that moment back. *Poof* Honestly, what else have I’ve been missing out on based on this attitude?
Driving around I started to think about what just happened. Greg knows I am not a history fan at all, so he wasn’t too surprised (just scared) at my dismissive response, but was it fair…to either of us? Have I declared war on everything “new”? Oh, no…it can’t be… am I… dare I say…Negative Nancy!
Out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look but it was gone. I cannot put my finger on it now. The child is grown, The dream is gone. I have become comfortably numb. Pink Floyd The Wall
I swear to you this car has become a vessel of enlightenment. I started to think that I really need to make a conscious effort not to judge my life, whether its good or bad. If I can just embrace the present moment, let go of the judgement, appreciate the now and let myself be open to the mystery ahead, the possibilities will be endless. This is what life is all about…just be in the moment and the rest will follow. Now that the top is off I hope the rest will follow.
For years I have been building these barriers and now they are all comfy cozy. Taking them down is going to be challenge. But it is time to start dismantling these walls in a way that will make Pink Floyd proud! Stop functioning out of the past, or living in the hoped for future. It’s time to stand at the door and embrace life as it comes.
It’s time to…Enjoy the Ride!
Behaviorally speaking…negative reinforcement can be a brutal thing 🙂
I think removing Christopher L. from that small place in your now FROZEN heart would help too! This was great.
Lisa, as always, very enlightening! I wish you luck in your pursuit of opening your self up to change. I know that the older I am getting the harder it is and I really like my comfort zone most of the time. What’s a girl to do? Ride with the top down & see what happens would be my guess, enjoy!
Very nicely written, and I enjoyed the message. Gotta love that Pink Floyd.
Well, I clearly started reading ‘just take your top off’ for all the wrong reasons, hoping for photos. After my initial disappointment, however, I stayed with the reading. Made me remember that I’ve been writing a story about The Ramon’s… for like, ever. I’m stuck on the research and not wanting to view the Punk Rock videos. But, that’s what the story is about… doing something you don’t think you will like. Maybe doing the museum with someone who is interested in seeing it might be fun. I’ll go finish my story now… Thanks for the ride!