It was a cold, gloomy, rain ridden morning. Traffic was heavy, patience were light. The perfect recipe for delays of all sorts out there on the roadways. So what’s a good Christian woman to do? Oh please, not me, the one that came late to her appointment last Tuesday.
Christian: For the full effect, please imagine Marilyn Monroe singing Happy Birthday to JFK, that was the voice. I’m so sorry I’m late. I left my house at 8:45. I can’t believe how long it took me to get here with the traffic.
“K”: That’s ok we understand. Mistake number one, justifying.
Christian: I was in my car being Christian what the hell does that even mean? when I got out and saw a foreigner standing next to his broken down truck in the middle of the road like this she kindly demonstrated both hands in the air flipping the bird in the center of the waiting room.
All of us: Silent, but fully engaged. Mistake number two, showing interest in the train wreck.
Christian: Really, if your going to come to this country learn the language, not just this again with the middle finger action. Ugh, I got back in my car and said a novena for everyone on my list, like a good Christian.
“K” at the desk: Politely nodding throughout this entire encounter. She is so good.
“S”: Walks away in disbelief.
Me: Turned around sarcastically mumbling “Jesus would be so proud.”
Hey, even the nicest of people have their limits. We’re all learning here…right?
“S”: Who comes in and says that to us? Does she hear herself? Um, nope.
Me: I’m so glad I’m not on that prayer list!
“S”: Ugh, I can’t stand people like her.
Me: A novena? That was dramatic. You pray, but I super size pray.
“S”: What is that voice?
Me: It’s the gooba gooba ga ga voice that I can’t stand.
FYI: Unless you actually are Marilyn Monroe or you have documentation stating that you are in fact a Sex Kitten, that voice is unacceptable in the regular world, especially when you’re spewing bigoted remarks.
This encounter stuck with “S ” and I for the rest of the week. We wondered if she saw herself making that statement, would she realize how horrible it sounded? We concluded she would not.
Honestly, I’m not sure if it was the approaching New Moon, the change in weather or a beacon outside our office door luring insanity to the imaginary welcome mat, but whatever it was, it needed to stop! A girl can only bite her tongue so many times a day.
We were inundated with bizarre behavior all week. Miss Christian above was only one of the many encounters that left our eyes popping or heads shaking. When your begging for someone to storm through the door shouting “You’ve Been Punked” it’s bad.
This behavior is nothing new to us. Our office is a magnet for people to vent their frustrations, reveal all their unrelated business or ask for unauthorized advice. Unlike Lucy we are not out soliciting, however we have considered charging…more than 5 cents of course.
The new week is already upon us, along with the New Moon. Should be interesting. I’m going in grateful that I work alongside people who don’t mind caring, listening and helping others with a side of laughter. It’s all in the attitude folks.
Are you ready for the work week? Let’s get this party started! We can do this!
Now get out there and don’t just embrace the insanity, french kiss it, feel it up, buy it a drink, have your way with it and hope to god it leaves before you have to make small talk.
Happy Monday Everyone …. Enjoy the Ride!