Fear and Forbidden Penises

You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room.

This is such an interesting question, but I would have to break it down into different parts of life in order to grasp the depth for my response. Lord knows the fears have changed over the years.

As a little kid I had a fear of the Dentist. This would most likely be due to the fact my mother told me we were going to the Grand Opening of the Acme, but some how I found myself being put to sleep only to wake up with bloody gauze in my mouth. Surprisingly this did not lead into the fear of supermarkets…interesting fact. 

When I was 10 I remember being afraid that my father was going to die. I had just been informed that he was older than my best friend’s grandmother. In my 10 year old mind he was now ancient and it was just a matter of time before he was gone. 21 years later folks, 21 YEARS. 

I remember being afraid of being possessed like Linda Blair in the Exorcist for a while back in my pre-teen days. I snuck into this wonderful film at the age of 12, which seemed like a great idea at the time. I moved my entire mattress into my parents room and slept there for 3 weeks. Maybe longer, who’s counting?

I always had a fear of public speaking, well ever since 5th grade anyway. Sister Geraldine felt the need to embarrass me to the point of silencing my every thought. I broke this fear when I had to fight for the rights of my children. Never underestimate the power of a mother.

Then there was the fear of being pregnant that lasted well into my early twenties and resurfaced up until the day the tubes were tied for good. After 12 years of Catholic school I was convinced that the thought of penis would land me into the nearest maternity ward. FYI: Forbidding penises just made everyone want one even more. Well, maybe not everyone.

Next up would be the fear of finding true love. There was so much hype about getting married that this fear left me with settling for someone who was not a good match. The silver lining is that the entire experience showed me what I didn’t want in my life, but learning the lesson was a drag. 

In my late 20’s I was hit with the fear of not being able to get pregnant. Life is hilarious isn’t it? 6 miscarriages later I had my daughter. My son followed 2 years later and to this day I have no recollection of that conception.

Now, being a parent brought on fears that never even crossed my mind. They start from the second your child is born, to the end of time. There are too many to list, but I’m sure all the parents out there know exactly what I’m trying to express.

With marriage, houses & kids come all those every day fears of survival. I would consider these the necessity fears. Fear of having enough food, fear of being able to make a mortgage payment..you know all that fun stuff.

Of course, I have always had the normal fear of things like roller coasters, heights, someone following me up the basement steps and serial killers. These are embedded in my core. 

Now, back to the question at hand. My answer in this very moment would be … drum roll please…

The room would be stark white and empty except for me. My deepest fear at this stage of my life is Fear of the Unknown. This is more prevalent due to the obvious fact I’m getting older. The unknown use to be exciting and filled with joyful anticipation, now it’s just filled with worry. I’m doing my best to slay this demon by living in the moment…so far so good, but it’s not easy. 

Take life one day at a time and Enjoy the Ride!


34 responses

  1. […] Fear and Forbidden Penises « Life With The Top Down […]

  2. […] Fear and Forbidden Penises « Life With The Top Down […]

  3. I hate forbidden penises. Especially when it’s mine.

  4. Ha, now Catholic school is my biggest fear!

    j/k, it’s rats.

  5. love this post! Sister Elizabeth told us you could get pregnant slow dancing… my first date was to a dance… I was panicked! Love this post and the march through time. The unknown can be exciting, but I understand the fear there also. thanks for this, DAF

    1. Hahahahaha! I can’t even imagine going to the dance with that on my mind, but I have no doubt it was said. Jeez, it’s a miracle we got out alive…lol

  6. Why DID the nuns always have a knack for instilling in their wee charges a fear of… everything. I was actually more afraid of the nuns than any threat they could throw my way.

  7. Catholic school — I avoided it. But I still feared the nuns my sisters and brothers had (even though they had always treated me like an adorable puppy).

    1. Whew, you better count your blessings for dodging that freaking bullet! You must have been extra adorable to receive puppy treatment.

      1. Yes, I’ve been paying my dues ever since …

  8. Awesome post…. and best title ever!

  9. This got me really thinking. I was afraid I was going to be too tall since I was 5′ 8 in the 4th grade, Unbeknownst to me, that was it….but I had nightmares of being forced to play basketball. Then the modeling mania started and suddenly I wanted to be taller. I was also afraid of my animals dying. I used to cry about that. Boy, I needed therapy early on, didn’t I Elyse. I have to say though, I was never afraid of penises…was glad I didn’t have one to deal with. Boobs were enough. I called them Mumbo and Jumbo like they 2 were girlfriends. …oh my

    1. Hahahaha! I wasn’t afraid of penises either. Of it was forbidden, I was in.
      Oh if only Mumbo & Jumbo could talk….hahaha!

  10. Oh those naughty nuns. At our school they used to tap their wedding rings (the rings that signified marriage to God) on the desk to get us to be quiet. It worked! Frodo would be jealous. Love this post, especially the part about fear pregnancy from all angles. Hey I’m giving you a shout out today. If you find blog awards annoying and burdensome, apologies. Really enjoy your posts. Best wishes.

    1. Thank you! Ugh the damn ring….please! Everything worked we were scared to death…hahaha!

  11. Forbidden Penises cracked me up!
    I have a fear of watching the Exorcist. Never saw it. I’m worried I’ll drag my mattress to my dog and sleep with her for….forever.

    1. Trust me…you would! On the way home from the movie, my partner in crime tripped and fell. She was crying, held up he hand and her pinky finger was going the opposite way. In my mind there was no doubt she was possessed. So I ran like hell … that’s what friends of possessed friends do.

  12. A wise teacher once said “Don’t look back, and don’t look too far forward because you’ll scare yourself.” Sounds to me like the present moment is the place to be! xoxoM

    1. This is unrelated to this comment. How do I contact wordpress with an issue. I remember you contacted them before about changes. My reader is different and I hate it. Is yours different?

      1. YES! It’s awful. I emailed them at support (at) wordpress (dot)com. I’ve already sent them about four emails expressing my displeasure on having such changes just sprung on me without so much as a heads up! Pisses me off big time! xoxoM

      2. Thank you! I’ll do the same it’s horrible!

  13. Hi Lisa,

    You’ve covered most of the big ones. The things that we are afraid of do change over time, but I think that I’ve become less fearful as I’ve gotten older. Maybe I should be afraid that I’m not fearing right? I’m too afraid to even consider it.

    Oh, those 13 years of Catholic School. What have they done to me? I’m kidding, as it was mostly great, but they sure knew how to push that fear button.

    Julia sent me. 🙂

  14. I have a fear of snakes. There’s an Indiana Jones movie with a room of snakes and I had to get up and walk out. There’s a big long story about why I’m afraid of snakes but for some reason, I’m a freaking snake magnet. They show up in my yard, on my walks and I even found one in my house!

    1. There was a story on the news this morning about a snake on a plane…please, we can’t even discuss those scenarios.

  15. You had me at “Forbidden Penises” but kept me rapt through the whole post. That’s too bad that fear of the unknown has made a recent emergence. 😦 My biggest fear right now is probably having a stroke. A bit weird for a 26-year-old, but anything that affects my cognition and functioning horrifies me…

    1. I had Vertigo about 2 months ago, so I completely get your fear. Not to mention I will not even take pain medication because I can’t stand not being in control of my wits…ugh.

  16. […] Fear and Forbidden Penises « Life With The Top Down […]

  17. Deliberately Delicious | Reply

    At 46, I’m back to dealing with the fear of pregnancy. How crazy is that?? Oh, the places that life leads us… My biggest fears are around being hurt and about my kids being hurt. My work for 2013 involves letting go of that fear and of ending my self-protective behaviour.

  18. […] Fear and Forbidden Penises « Life With The Top Down […]

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