Man Down! Man Down!


Honestly evaluate the way you respond to crisis situations. Are you happy with the way you react? 

Hmm, am I happy with the way I react to a crisis? The answer is a big fat YES! I would go as far as saying I reacted to the latest crisis that crossed my path like Wonder Woman in comparison to the people  statues I was with while all hell broke freaking loose. Nothing like a crew of blank stares when you’re in the middle of a real life Man Down…Man Down crisis. 

Before the "incident"

Before the “incident”

First: As all my followers already know, I had the pleasure of being a Latex Engineer in this years Thanksgiving Day Parade here in Philly. If you’re new you can read about it right here The Oscar Goes To. That’s the victim right there on the left.  He is a Humane Law Enforcement Officer, not to mention hilarious. We were in charge of the Lorax’s head together….before the incident. 

Any who, after all was said and done we were instructed to start letting the helium out of the balloon as we all walked back to Deflation Station. Now, as someone who was new to the world of latex engineers, I was unaware of the dangers of helium exposure. Maybe it’s common knowledge and I’m just not common, I don’t know. 

I was in charge of letting the air out of the tail of the Lorax, while my new friend Officer

Hold on Wayne...I'm On My Way!

Hold on Wayne…I’m On My Way!

Wayne, who was a seasoned Latex Engineer, was working on a larger part of the balloon. Unfortunately, he inhaled a large amount of helium and started to come towards me in slow motion. I honestly thought he was joking around, but did think it was odd that his glasses were crooked, he was walking in slow motion and lost his ability to speak. Other than those small details, all seemed normal. Next thing I knew he started to GO DOWN.

MY REACTION:  I lead off with a very loud scream. This is always good to alert others who may want to assist. I grabbed him and was able to guide him to the ground slowly. This is crucial to avoid bludgeoned skulls. I crouched over Officer Wayne and began yelling in is face “ARE YOU OK?! ARE YOU OK?!” I wasn’t actually looking for an answer per se, but more for signs of life. As I looked up for assistance from Jeez, I don’t know, one of the hundreds of people in the immediate vicinity, I spotted my daughter and my friend standing perfectly still and staring at me in horror. Two statues would have served me better than these two…..dear lord! 

I am happy to report Wayne got up, straightened his glasses and continued to fold up the Lorax like a boss. I on the other hand had to answer the questions as to WTF just went down from the statues who suddenly came to life!

Considering havoc has a tendency to break loose at even the most enjoyable of events, it’s best to remain calm, scream loud and Enjoy the Ride, with your badass boots of course!

15 responses

  1. Very cool! And two great pictures. How did the photographer who took yours get the sparkles? Was that a filter or an in-camera effect? 😉


  2. Way to go, Tops! I want you nearby when I have my next helium overdose.


  3. Deliberately Delicious | Reply

    After a stellar performance like that, you should definitely be made Chief Latex Engineer for next year’s parade. Have the organizers any idea how valuable you are??


  4. free penny press | Reply

    We need to think of a Super-hero name for you.. hmmm


  5. I thought about writing for this one, but had other topics I was working on. Kudos to you and Officer Wayne for maintaining coolness.


  6. I think you handled that really well, just like the Wonder Woman that you are!


  7. Did he sound like Donald Duck? I always thought one’s voice changes under helium snorting circumstances. I think you did great. I mean considering how tired not to mention excited from the day of ballooning you were (I remember what a big deal it was for you), I think he was lucky to have such a sane, level-headed lady as his wing man. I’m just saying…


    1. Hahaha! No he couldn’t even talk. We did laugh about it the whole way home. My friend confessed “oh, I’m horrible in medical emergencies.” Duly noted. My daughter kept imitating my scream as I imitated her statue-like expression. It was all in fun. Wayne was my wing man throughout the entire balloon route, so I was glad to oblige.


      1. You are a balloon expert as far as iIm concerned.


  8. Sounds like the perfect reaction to me! You were already doing the first step in CPR, so how can anyone fault you?


  9. You missed your calling, tops. You totally should have been an EMT.


  10. You & I should never be relied on in an emergency! Screamers really don’t help the situation unless the desired result is comic relief. A few years ago, I was heating up something in my toaster oven. I looked over and saw flames coming out of it. I literally let out this bone chilling scream to alert my husband, who was 10 feet away and then proceeded to spin around in circles screaming “Oh my God” repeatedly. He walked over, shot me a dirty look and very calmly grabed the fire tray, walked out side with it & put the fire out. When he came back, I was still spinning in a circle. To this day, I do not understand my reaction but know for sure I will never, ever make it as an EMT! 🙂


  11. Your reactions were hilarious! Screaming and shouting – probably good things really, but I’m so glad he got up. You may not make it as an EMT, but you’re a great Latex Egineer! 🙂


  12. Screaming loud is a good start. great story. I love your adventures as a latex engineer… do you think it could ever replace your day job, or is that too ‘lofty’ an idea? 😉 thanks for the smile… DAF


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