Revolution? Nobody Has Time For That!

0050_soap_box3I’ve been trying to get up on this damn soap box all week, but I kept getting distracted by one piece of insanity after the other. So here I am, finally **tap pssh tap** I hope you can all hear me out there in Blogosphere and beyond. Ok, here we go…..

I need to address the escalated chatter I’ve been hearing lately in regards to a Revolution of some sort that is prompting people to run out and purchase firearms. People, I might add, who have NEVER owned a gun in their life. Everyone suddenly wants a weapon for “protection” for this Revolution. Really? Have these people ever tried to organize a group of people for a cause? Please!

You can call me crazy, but I’m going to provide you with a little scenario explaining why I believe there will NOT be a Revolution.

SCENE SETTING: The rally is being held in a large arena with red, white & blue balloons strung across the large stage. The PopsOrganizer is in jeans, a tailored shirt with dressy work boots, hoping his outfit will appeal to all classes in attendance. Flags are waving, lady Liberty is being erected through the center of the stage just as the Uncle Sam dancers make their way up the aisle high-fiving the crowd. The speaker appears at the podium and everyone is asked to move down closer to the stage due to the poor turnout. Just keeping it real.

REVOLUTION SPEAKER:  Good afternoon. Thank you all for coming out today. I’m sure it wasn’t easy pulling yourselves away from your busy lives to make history, but I’m glad you chose to make this sacrifice for your country. Roaring Applause. I know everyone is feeling a little unsettled these days with the direction our country is taking, but this has been happening for a very long time. Between the chaos in the Middle East, school shootings, slow economy, healthcare issues, Social Security issues, Medicare issues and our everyday life issues we are all on edge. So, I thought it would be a great idea if We The People got together to form a Revolution. Enthusiastic applause. In order to do this we will all need to share in the responsibility of organizing events all over the country. Applause seems weaker. We will all need to do our part to make this a successful Revolution. The crowd begins to shift in their seats. We will be setting up tents throughout some of the largest cities in America. This means you may be living in conditions that you are not accustomed to for long periods of time. If your want change, you have to be willing to make some sacrifices. Section A leaves to use the restroom, they never return to their seats. We will organize groups to get the word out via the Social Media, but let me be clear, we will only use Social Media outlets to invite more of the We The People to join us. The majority of our mission will be held on the ground. Whispers are heard amongst the attenders. We need to show our strength in numbers by physically attending these events. A hand is raise and a question is asked from the crowd. Can we just “like” this Revolution on Facebook? Applause. No sir, this is real life. Forefathers begin spinning in their graves. 

SCENE SETTING: The sounds of “This Land Is Your Land” is playing in the background. The Uncle Sams’ and Lady Liberties exit to man the tables and serve refreshments.

SPEAKER: Are you ready to take your country back? Weak applause and unrecognizable mumbles. We have information tables set up right outside these doors, so please, enjoy the refreshments while you decide how your talents can serve this Revolution best. Crickets can be heard chirping in another county.

WE THE PEOPLE: The crowd heads out to the lobby. We begin to whisper while avoiding eye contact with the organizer and aggressively search for the Exit signs.

SCENE SETTING: Long tables are set up outside the arena. Women dressed as Lady Liberty are patiently waiting to be swarmed with anxious Revolutionary participants, while the Uncle Sam clad men are serving refreshments. The free red, white & blue Revolution pens are waiting to be picked up to fill those sign-up sheets. Some curious potential participants begin to approach the table.

WE THE PEOPLE:  First: Are these pens free? Um, is this Revolution thing going to be during the week, because I work?

                                          Second: Is there any way we can revolt on a Saturday? Oh, wait make that Sunday Jimmy has practice on Saturday. Oh, no wait Sunday isn’t good Mary has dance. Can I get back to you? Are these pens free?

                                          Third: Can I revolt from home? I work every other day, so I can revolt on my days off after my errands.

                                          Fourth: Do you think this Revolution thing will take long? I can commit to 2 weeks of my vacation time, but that 3rd week is mine. Are these pens free?

                                          Fifth: I really, really want to revolt, but Idol just started so, if your still revolting when the season is over I’ll be happy to help out. Hey, can I have this pen?

Instead of filling our homes with weaponry in preparation for a Revolution that may or may not happen, why don’t we figure out a way to honor the gift of American democracy. Impossible? That answer is up to all of us.

It’s time for me to leave the soap box and Enjoy the Ride!

41 responses

  1. Deliberately Delicious | Reply

    Ha! So true! I love the way you’ve set this up, with the participants backing out one by one. (It reminds me of a certain staff appreciation breakfast I organized at my children’s school a couple of years ago…). In the case of this particular revolution, I am grateful for the apathy of the average person 🙂

    1. Every time I hear someone mention this I think “Clearly you have never tried to get someone to make cupcakes for the school bake sale.” Apathy is in our favor!

      1. Deliberately Delicious

        I actually started to relate the story of the (last) year I organized the staff appreciation breakfast at my kids’ school. It ended up going very well, but the number of people who couldn’t possibly help out because they were so incredibly busy! And I was the single mother with the full time job! Sigh… 🙂

  2. Seriously funny, LWTTD! I think you know your constituents.

    1. Sadly I do. I’ve volunteered enough at my children’s schools to know gathering people to do something is not as easy at you would think.

  3. Get, rent, or find on your cable/satellite the movie “Primary Colors”. Fast forward to the scene where Larry Hagman takes over for the recently deceased candidate. Listen to what he says about slowing down and sound bytes.
    THAT is your revolution. All this gun BS is just that – farm fertiliser.
    By the by, part of the reason you’ve had trouble getting on your soapbox was, I was hogging it. Sorry. Glad they got it delivered to you in time! 😀

    1. Will do John! Thanks for the soap box it arrived in pristine condition and just in time.

  4. It seems the only people who can get a crowd to gather are the fanatics these days. Isn’t that sad?

    1. I was thinking about that while I was writing this. I think it’s because they are so fearful and their thoughts are twisted…very sad indeed.

  5. Too funny. Revolutions cannot get in the way of entertainment.

  6. You are right, there ain’t gunna be no revolution – we been there and done that twice. If the right and the NRA want to secede from the union, let them return to the wild west, shot and pollute with impunity, drink fiery water, breathe toxic air, burn the classics, and prepare for the end of the world.

  7. You mean, this isn ‘t the war revolutions are supposed to happen?

    1. Hahaha! It’s so insane it’s true. It doesn’t mater if it’s baking cupcakes for a bake sale or taking over the government…people are people and they’re very predictable.

  8. Exactly! Very well put!

  9. I hope it doesn’t come to this, but I really think something bad will happen if an outright ban on guns comes down.

    Well done, by the way.

    1. There will never be an all out ban for that exact reason. Look how crazy people get at their own twisted propaganda that it’s even on the table.
      Thank you.

  10. “Can we just “like” this Revolution on Facebook?” so true, people would actually say that.

    1. I was actually laughing so hard just thinking about that, because it’s that true!

  11. I think the reply button on your screen is broken, as all of your replies to your commenters ended up bunched together and disconnected from the comments to whioch they were aimed. It was fun to figure out which reply was for which comment, but only because I have a wierd sense of what constitutes fun.

    As for revolutions in this country, you’re spot on. No one is that charged up about changing anything, unless you count the occupy Wall Streeters, and it’s debateble that they succeeded.

    The unfortunate thing about the gun folks is that they are all arming for their very own revolutions, which they feel will occur when and if the government ever succeeds in making assault rifles illegal. We’ll all realize what visionaries they were once society crumbles into anarchy and zombies roam the streets. Personally, I’m stocking up on booze and meat tenderizer for when the time comes. I’m going to be delicious!

    1. I noticed that before. I don’t think it’s the button, I think its me. It depends where I reply from..I think. What do you expect from a Non freshly Pressed blogger…seriously.

      So true! I like your idea of booze & meat tenderizer, it’s so much more inviting than bullets.

      1. I learned my lesson from the Starkist Tuna commercials of my youth. To recap: “Sorry Charlie, Starkist doesn’t want tunas with good taste, they want tunas that taste good!” So nothing but free range grain feeding for me and a little dry rub with meat tenderizer before I turn in for the night.

      2. FYI, your Freshly Pressed time will come, and after the adulation and popularity, you’ll be sitting at your kitchen counter trying to figure out what to write without disappointing your scores of new followers. You’ll get so frustrated that you’ll spend all of your creative energy sending comments out instead of focusing on the task at hand….well…at least that’s how it is for me just now..

  12. ….by the way, may I have one of these pens?

  13. Ha ha thats great! This gun control debate has really pulled me into conversation. I told you before (and you’ve read some of my posts) that the sandy hook tragedy really hit me hard. And then when I hear people say “they’re coming to get our guns” i notice they seem to be the same people who talk about ‘taking our country back.’ The whole thing concerns me. And …. are those pens free?

  14. Deliberately Delicious (cool name by the way) is the kind of person every group needs. They are the doers and organizers. I applaud them. The 80/20 rule applies to any group, 20% of the people do 80% of the work. Yet, there is a subset of the 20% who get things rolling. Double D, thanks for doing what you do. As an aside, we are all busy, so when people say they are too busy, they really are no busier than the people who choose to be involved. Oftentimes, they are less busy, but just don’t want to be bothered. Just an Old Fart’s perspective. Take care, BTG

  15. ciao! i selected your luvFAB blog for the BLOG OF THE YEAR AWARD 2012!
    check it out:

  16. I think you pretty much summed up the Revolution with ‘We the People’.

  17. This is great! I think the idea of another “occupy…” revolution will set many on edge…
    Thanks for bringing it to the party! It is still raging so come back anytime!

  18. Reblogged this on Life With The Top Down and commented:

    In light of all the chit-chat out there about revolting, I thought it was appropriate to resurface this truth bomb.

  19. Very cleverly done! You are absolutely right. A revolution in this country would require that people leave their television sets and that will never happen.

    1. Never … ever! I was thinking of scheduling it for Superbowl Sunday…can you imagine?

  20. Just noticed that this was a re-post of an earlier one. Sadly, it is probably even more true today. Even the idiots up in Oregon are discovering that this whole revolution thing is too hard. I mean… no snacks? By the way, I have my manicure appointment every-other Monday, so if the revolution could be planned around that, it would be helpful.

  21. Unfortunately, fear is used to keep people buying guns and hating. I’m not sure what the answer is, but have to keep hoping.

  22. And I’m still laughing at those militia idiots holed up in Oregon. Begging for supplies and people are mailing them dildos! It’s a dildo revolution!

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