I Surrender Murph!

Daily Prompt: Comedy of Errors

Murphy’s Law says, “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” Write about a time everything did — fiction encouraged here, too!

Seriously, I could only hope that this included an ounce of fiction!

cupid-vectorThe 24 year-old recently divorced me was minding her own business, when her sister decided to do a little match making. What cuold go wrong? Somehow my sister stirred up a conversation with this young man and for reasons unknown, she thought I would be interested and actually got his number. Oh, she’s good.

Since I had just wasted 8 good years of my life with my asshole first love, I was certainly ready to welcome a breath of fresh air. Ugh, I made the call like a nervous school girl and he invited me over on a Sunday afternoon. Honestly, what could possibly go wrong on something as safe as a Sunday afternoon? He lived close by but, I decided to drive in the event I needed to make a quick escape.

Sawyer-topless_dl

What I imagine Adonis looks like today..whew.

Just as I pulled up to the address, I noticed a young Adonis sitting on the front step. This godlike holder of testosterone was just what the doctor ordered with his tan shirtless torso, slightly long hair and cut-off shorts. Sweet Jesus! Well done sister, well done indeed!

I approached the porch with thoughts of pouncing this guy right on the spot. He was sitting there with this amazing smile looking delicious. I started off with a very simple “Hi, I’m Lisa are you George?” The name has been changed because I can’t remember the real one after using Troll for so long. Suddenly, before my Adonis could utter a word, a door flies open and I hear “No, I’m George that’s my neighbor.” ***BOOM*** That was my fantasy imploding on the porch. 

The Adonis and I said goodbye as I went inside with this George Costanza look-alike, a frown and a trickle of my positive attitude. Let’s begin with the fact that my feet were barely over the threshold before this guy was trying to lure me upstairs to see his watch collection. I didn’t want to see watches, unless of course his neighbor decided to sport a few!

We sat at the kitchen table were I endured listening about his job. As the conversation was going on, I started to put some puzzle pieces together and conclude that George was a BAG BOY MAN at the Acme. One would think at this point you would be listening to the screeching of my tires….but no, I just had to stay for more of this show. 

For the record, the people close to me have already voted me most likely be buckled into the backseat of a stranger’s car while stating “hey, did you know you have rope, duck tape and knives back here?” I tend to see the good in people…I can’t help myself, its who I am…ugh. That being said, when George kept pushing for me to see this watch collection I caved and headed upstairs. Feel free to shake your heads, I just did. 

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LISA! Come hither…

Oh…My…God! Who knew “watch collection” actually meant Marijuana Paraphernalia Collection! It wasn’t until I stood in this man-boy bedroom of sorts that I had the thought of “ok, it’s time to hightail it out of freaking crazy town!”  

He went to the bathroom and I ran like hell!

On my way out Adonis said “Later” as if I weren’t the first female he had seen jumping off of the weed wagon! I got in the car and locked the doors just as George came looking for me…in his freaking underwear! Oh, it was clear at this point that there had been a brain cell massacre from all the pot smoking. 

Life can be hilarious some times so … Enjoy the Ride!

33 responses

  1. […] I Surrender Murph! | Life With The Top Down […]

  2. Siblings simply cannot be trusted to choose your dates. Especially sisters. They can be trusted to scare them off, however.

    1. True that Elyse! The worst part was it was pre-cell phone era so I had to WAIT to let her know in the further I expect a resume, drug testing and an 8×10 glossy!

  3. Ha ha!! Just let me slip into something more comfortable….

    Beware of matchups made by your sister. Cheers!

    1. Hahahaha….I actually married the fix up from my friend!

  4. I’d love if I had the kind of friends who would vote on me to be “most likely to…[do anything interesting]”. 🙂

    1. Maybe you do, but that just haven’t told you yet.

  5. Oh, this so reminds me of a first date story I had. I’ll have to write a post about it in the near future.

  6. This is why I’m terrified of match makers

    1. Believe it or not I married the next match up…that I almost didn’t go to.

  7. Oh Dear… well done! Whatever is truth or fiction, well done, indeed! And honestly, I always try to see the good in people too… I’ve been guilty of saying “Hey… did you know you have rope, duct tape and knives back here?” Well, not those exact things. And usually, right after saying that is when it hits me that I need to get out of the situation, fast.

    1. It’s nice to know I won’t be alone in the back of that car! Lol

  8. What on God’s green Earth made your sister think George would be a suitable match? Did you return the favor? lolllll xoxoM

    1. Hahaha…she is 16 years older than me. I think it was a generational issue.

  9. Are you and your sister still speaking? That was hysterical…looking back on it, of course. You can’t make things like that up. Actually, you can. They’re called sitcoms.

    1. I often feel like I’m living in longest sitcom ever to air…lol

  10. That was hilarious! Are you sure he didn’t work for Vandelay Industries?

    Maybe you should have dragged Adonis in the car with you on the way out!

    Phil
    http://www.blog.theregularguynyc.com

    1. Why the hell didn’t I grab that Adonis? That really is a good question.

  11. […] of Shock and Awe | Cheri Speak The notepad | Paul Scribbles Murphy is my creeper | theloneshewolf I Surrender Murph! | Life With The Top Down Late Night Wonderings | A Beautiful Epiphany What can go wrong, will go […]

  12. free penny press | Reply

    After reading this, guess I did okay without a sister.. This was hilarious..lol

  13. Oh my…. bless your heart, so glad you stayed long enough for the previews and not the main attraction… DAF

    1. Me too….Me too….hahaha!

  14. Hilarious! I can see the look on your face when you saw the weed collection and I’m cracking up!

    1. Hahahahahaha….it was much more than a collection. Dear Lord!

  15. Hilarious! And I love your locked-door great escape!

    1. Thanks! Lucky to get out alive….lol

  16. I have a plethora of sisters and I don’t believe I would let even one of them play matchmaker for me…or anyone else I would like to keep as a friend.

  17. […] Awe | Cheri Speak 37. The notepad | Paul Scribbles 38. Murphy is my creeper | theloneshewolf 39. I Surrender Murph! | Life With The Top Down 40. Daily Prompt: Murphy was a lawyer! | baka’s blog 41. Late Night Wonderings | A Beautiful […]

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