Hallelujah! Hot Dogs Heal The Lame

quasimotoHello everyone, it’s me Chester the Beagle and I’ll be guest blogging for Lisa today. She’s been such a good nurse lately I thought I’d cut her some slack. I’ve been sick as a dog!  My troubles all started back on Valentine’s Day when I woke up looking like someone who may be employed in a bell tower. One minute I’m scratching my ear, the next I’m looking like Quasi Moto. 


This is the only evidence I have of my where a bouts …

My memory is sketchy at best on the details, but I do recall Momma calling the doctor, me getting a sausage and then the rest is somewhat of a blur. I’m not pointing paws here, but I think there was a rophy in that sausage! That’s all I know is when I finally woke up my nails were cut, my butt was sore and my ear was feeling better. Either I went to the Doggie Doctor or a seedy massage pallor…I’ll never really be sure.

Well, one thing I know for sure is I was feeling like a puppy after that adventure! Momma has been giving me a little chicken every morning a pleasant surprise indeed and by the afternoon I was skipping out of the gate. Woo…it felt so good to be young again! However, all good things must end and this includes rejuvenation.

During one of my puppy highs, I spotted a cat in the distance. I thought, “hey I’m feeling like a champ and I’m gonna get me some of that feline.” What the HELL was this old dog thinking? It has been almost 2 weeks since I dashed skipped across that field and I’m still suffering. Momma said that chasing stray pussy never ends well…boy was she was RIGHT. I had to be wrapped in a blanket and carried back home by the humans…it was more than humiliating, especially with that feisty Boston Terrier looking on, mocking me with his agility.

This is NOT me! It is the image of me in my head.

This is NOT me! It’s the image in my head.

So there I was, trapped downstairs, unable to go up the steps with my bum leg ALL…OVER … A…CAT. Do you know what this means for me? I can no longer bask in the sun. There is no more going on the deck to bark at passer-byes and the worst part of all… I AM NOT ABLE TO GET TO THE KITCHEN. It’s tragic, simply tragic.

On Thursday following the incident” I was a hot mess before Momma went to work. I’m not proud of my behavior, I just didn’t want to be alone and a little crying usually goes a long way, but she left anyway. I played it up until Dad got there to save the day. We both took a nice nap and life was good again. I may have gotten a little ahead of myself later that evening when I smelled something I haven’t had the pleasure of sniffing since Summer…a hot dog! Not, just any hot dog … an Applegate Farm All Organic Hot DogI’m sure you all know what happened next…yep…I RAN up the steps to get me some of that goodness!

The gates of heaven opened before me and I was standing in Doggie Paradise a/k/a … the kitchen. Who knew Hot Dogs had the hdhfacebooklogopower to heal the lame? I was so happy to be upstairs in the living area that I slept late on Friday. It wasn’t until I tried to get up to do my doo doo duties that I realized that…umm…maybe I over estimated my abilities with those stairs. Hot Dog goggles, beer goggles, love goggles…they all make us do crazy things. 

It’s been a rough week for everyone. Good ole Dad has been sleeping on the couch so I don’t get scared. Momma tried, but apparently I snore. The girl of the house is on Spring break, keeping me company during the day. If telling me to “stop faking” is company. The boy has been lecturing me on my weight one minute and slipping me a chicken tender the next. Are these mixed singles or am I on a chicken tender weight loss program? 

Ugh, what’s an old dog to do? Something tells me there’s another rophy sausage in my very near future if I ever want to lie in another sunbeam. Until then … I think I’ll put my Hotdog goggles on and Enjoy the Ride! 

29 responses

  1. Finally. An answer to the age old question: “What would Jesus do.”

    1. That’s right he would be handing out rophys and hot dogs just like my momma.

  2. Oh, poor Chester. In my mind I am still young and playful as well. The reality is the chairs knock the crap out of me and there is no “hot dog” waiting for me at the top. Enjoy the pampering while you can.

  3. Oh Chester… you need to have a talk with Shiloh about your hot dog habit. She would tell you that I’m MEAN and I NEVER give her any cookies (though I do) and that I tell her I have to keep her at her “fighting weight” though the only thing she fights with is keeping her tongue in her mouth. You old dogs have a good life… Don’t tell Shiloh this – but I’m making an appointment for a groomer so THEY can deal with cutting her nails and scrubbing the “stank” off of her.

    1. Clearly you haven’t heard about the “code” amongst us canines…we don’t keep secrets about groomers or doctors. Consider Shiloh informed of her trip to the beauty parlor.

  4. Poor Chester… It sucks getting old. I’d watch out for those sausages… My human puts everything into a glob of peanutbutter… I’m so excited to be licking the peanutbutter I don’t see anything else going on around me… Hope you feel better soon. I personally think humans keep adding steps to the stairway, it gets harder and harder to get to the top, I usually have to rest halfway up. I feel your pain, instead of cats, I have these overgrown birds called herons that taunt me in my own backyard, they aren’t very nice. your friend, Shugo.

    1. Oh, Shugo it really isn’t easy being us. Would you believe I don’t like peanut butter…I know, I know what dog doesn’t…well me. I heard Momma discussing one of those chairs that rides up the steps…this is why I love her so, she’s always thinking. Hang in there Shugo, at least we’re in good hands.

  5. HIlarious post! Reminds me of Jake with his head abscenses although cats prefer to be alone when they don’t feel well. However, they do manipulate to get the food they want. Hope you are feeling better soon (and without a sore butt!).

    1. We are trained so well….last night my husband actually asked “do you think he’s playing us?”

      1. No doubt about it but let him enjoy it. He’s a dog after all!

  6. Growing old sucks. My, get ready for it, cat is slowing down. I’m slowing down. One true thing is you can be young inside your head. that’s where it counts.

  7. It is true that Hot Dogs can heal. If you go Chicago style (Tomato, onion pickle, sauerkraut, the kitchen sink) it can quite possibly cure anything.

  8. Apparently, hot dogs have magical powers. Who knew?

  9. Does this work on male homosapiens? You throw some mustard, onions and chili on it and we testosteroned humans will pounce up the steps as well. Don’t know about chasing that stray, what did you call it now? That might get us shot. :>)

    1. Hahahahaha! Yes, I believe you could be in the same category.

  10. Love this post. You know they end up training us to think we are their masters.

    Funny, I think I also react this way when smelling hot dogs!


    1. We are so well trained the circus called looking for us…it’s borderline insane!

  11. My dog had some sort of “ass-end stroke” a couple of summers ago, and almost got her ticket punched. She rehabbed and is entirely too healthy now. When she was unable to walk, a sudden guest appearance by the vacuum cleaner ended up healing her just long enough to get out of the room, at which point she relapsed to paraplegia again. Though she’s ambulatory now, and actually runs better than she walks, she will get a dramatic hitch in her giddyup for sympathy when necessary.

    1. Hahahahahaha! My son actually suggested the vacuum and I thought he was being mean, but I’m so tired of sleeping alone, I think I might start up the shop vac! How did you rehab her?

  12. Poor Chester! But what a neat concept to write from his point of view. I hope he gets better really soon!

  13. That was fabulous! When are we all just going to give in and realize our fur faces run the household 🙂

  14. […] out to write today’s post, I clicked on some of my favorite bloggers’ sites and on Life with the Top Down, I found this post about her dog: Hallelujah! Hot Dogs Heal The Lame.  Lisa’s post was […]

  15. […] most of you know from his Blog post the other day Hallelujah! Hot Dogs Heal The Lame Chester has been having some walking issues. Well, those issues turned into much more this morning […]

  16. This just made me cry all over again.

    1. I know right…he was so happy about that hot dog. My eyes are so swollen I look like a reptile.

      1. I still can’t believe it…it really shocked me. He’s such a presence, and will continue to be so.

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