Top of the Morning to Ya!

It's about time Dawn!

It’s about time Dawn!

Since Peanut a/k/a “P” or “P-Diddy has arrived I have been taking full advantage of his energy. I’m starting to believe that he is an Energizer Bunny/Tasmanian Devil mix a/k/a an Enertaz and not a Maltipoo as we originally thought. Yes, I am jealous.

Since we are both up at the crack of dawn Since we are both nudging Dawn to get her ass up, I’ve decided to take advantage of our time together by walking. For months I’ve been wearing a pedometer to count my steps each day as a motivator, but it wasn’t working and I was becoming very discouraged by my low numbers at the end of the each day. Apparently I should have purchased a Sloth meter if I wanted “results.”

Come on Lisa, you're not going to melt.

Come on Lisa, you’re not going to melt.

I’m happy to announce that my numbers have tripled in the 3 weeks since P and I have started our routine. My highest number so far has been slightly over 16,000, which is 8 miles in one day. The Sloth has left the building … feel free to hoot and holla. 

We head out around 5:30 (yes in the morning) and I must say there is something invigorating about witnessing my neighborhood coming alive in the morning. I feel like I’m intruding. This is especially true on the weekends when even the birds are sleeping in after a long week of chirping. Sadly this early bird is incapable of doing that … even on the weekend.

One thing I know for sure is that all this stillness has certainly opened my eyes and ears a little wider to my surroundings, which just expands my imagination to another level. So far I have made myself laugh out loud and scared myself half to death. Here is a sampling of my week.

1. Every morning I see a young blonde haired woman who is always sporting bright pink from head to toe like the human version of Estee Lauder’s “Simply Pink” lipstick. I have no doubt that her ensemble was pulled right from her little Barbie Dream House closet. I couldn’t help but worry that she may just fade away if she continues to run at this level.

This does not mean GO!

This does not mean GO!

2. I live in a very blue-collar neighborhood, so it’s no surprise at the number of pick-up trucks I see heading out in the wee hours, however I also noticed something else about people who head to work early … they do not seem to stop at stop signs … EVER. Come on people at least throw me a break light and a damn roll! I guess I’ll have to assume that Ford has come up with a windshield that only recognizes the word STOP after 6 a.m.

3. One of my favorite observations to date are the people on the bus stop. There is usually a group of miserable faced teenagers heading to school and an older group of miserable faced people heading to work. No one is talking or acknowledging that anyone else actually exists. I look on hoping that one day they’ll all break out into a badass version of Sweet Child Of Mine.

4. Does anyone out there remember the good ole paper boy from a life time ago? You know, that little freckled-faced kid who rode his bike up and down the streets to deliver your paper … TO YOUR DOOR. Those days are long gone around here. Every single day I watch an overweight guy in a beat-up mini van looking like a pedophile driving down the street, while throwing the papers out of the window. Seriously? Ugh, it drives me so crazy I find myself finishing his job and tossing the papers up to the porch!

IMG_1251

The Walnuts of the world have been WARNED!

5.  I could probably write a short novel just on the horrors of decorating choices that I’ve witnessed, but honestly “ain’t nobody got time for dat!”  But I couldn’t let you miss out on all the fun, so I selected one of the strangest encounters.  NOTE: This house is not near my home … I would have to move. 

I tried very hard to justify why there would be Nutcrackers on display in May. Yes, there was more than one, but I was afraid to film the entire army. At first I thought that maybe someone was sick and they didn’t have time to remove them, but then I noticed freshly planted flowers, so that was out. I went from benefit of the doubt to insanity in 2 seconds flat.

Well, if it’s not an illness, it must be he works of a serial killer. Obviously, some freak who had a bad experience with a nutcracker now surrounds himself with fresh blocks of wood as he waits to whittle the faces of his victims onto his growing army of nutcrackers. Oh yeaI actually scared myself on that one! Apparently I have watched one too many episodes of Criminal Minds.

Enjoy the Ride … even if you’re walking!

28 responses

  1. My Mickey is up early, but, at 16 years old, a brisk walk together is no longer in the cards for us. Once I get back in with him, it’s on to the rest of our morning routine. I miss our younger selves! xoxoM

    1. Peanut doesn’t understand he gets to sleep for the rest of the day while I go to work with sore legs!

      1. Just till you get used to his routine! lol xoxoM

  2. Congratulations to you and Peanut on your early morning walks!

  3. vastlycurious.com | Reply

    Walking is great!

  4. free penny press | Reply

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      1. free penny press

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  6. Those nutcrackers are pretty creepy, especially out of season. By the way, your dog is adorable and with the yellow sweater would be a perfect school cross walking guard dog.

    1. Very creepy indeed! It’s a raincoat….lol and he does look like a crossing guard now that you mention it…hahaha!

  7. The early morning hours have always been filled with mystery and magic to me. It is a great time to walk. Congratulations on getting your numbers up so well. I’m glad to see that I am not the only one that has one of those over the top imaginations that can scare the pants off you.

  8. Yikes!

  9. Took a walk myself this morning and thought of you post!

  10. I’m a hootin’ and a hollerin at those Nutcrackers. Perhaps they can be Peanut’s newest chew toys.

  11. So I guess if this person has their nutcrackers still up – I’m okay with my light still strung on my balcony? We don’t light them unless we have company or something sitting on the balcony & then we use them like night lights.

  12. The paper boy and kid who mowed grass went the way of the hula hoop. The latter was my first job at $2.50 per yard. For $0.50 more, I would edge. Now, it is $25 to crew. I am still trying to visualize the person all in pink. Thanks, BTG

  13. I walk our dogs every morning, too. Its great except we don’t go out till 8am or so. 5:30am is way too early.

  14. LOL! Blahahaha! Your dog-walking early morning observations are priceless! 🙂

  15. Unfortunately. I’ve a habit of waking up late; so to walk early in the morning I’ve to stay awake all through the night. 🙂 sometimes I wonder how do you people achieve what seems impossible to me.
    I liked your observations a lot, Lisa. Keep on walking; so that we get a chance to read more posts like this one.

  16. Maybe somebody just really really likes the nutcracker? Maybe they’re trying to get their winter spirit on? Maybe they’re being ironic?
    I HAVE to know now. I won’t be able to sleep.

    1. It’s been driving me crazy too!!! There was more than one…and they are so creepy.

  17. This was a great essay. I love the birds sleeping in…and Peanut…oh my God, he’s so cute in his little yellow slicker? It’s great you’re up at that hour walking…and you have a man with you in case one of those truckers get any ideas. Great piece Lisa. Needed a laugh.

  18. I was one of those kids who was up early mowing lawns and delivering papers. I also remember the milk man delivering to the houses in my neighborhood. Those days are long gone now from most suburban neighborhoods. I used to work at a yard center and opened it up at 6am. The mornings on the weekend there were quiet and calm. I used to enjoy walking the yard with a cup of coffee.

  19. Great post! I have nominated you for a SUPER SWEET BLOGGER AWARD! See my blog for details and how you can share the sweetness.Great post! I have nominated you for a SUPER SWEET BLOGGER AWARD! See my blog for details and how you can share the sweetness.

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