People never cease to amaze me! Just when I thought it was safe to be line at the grocery store, something changed. Little did I know that someone, most likely the Fox network, must be dispensing portable soap boxes to their loyal listeners. This is what I’m going with since I have no other answer.
Hey, I am a huge fan of Free Speech, but for the love of God I can not tolerate when it is abused. Why on earth would a complete stranger feel that a hateful political rant would be a good way to strike up a conversation with ME of all people on this planet? I guess the days of “hey baby what’s your sign?” are long gone.
There I was minding my own business in the check-out line, reading the headlines on all the rag magazines, catching up on all the Kardashian bull shit news, when out of nowhere this person decided to egg me on while he ranted over everything under the sun. Maybe my peace sign bracelet set him off…who knows.
Well, that’s all I can say is THANK GOODNESS I’ve been graced with the gift of having my face come
up with a quick response long before my mouth has a chance. Sometimes this can be a curse, but not this time.
I have no idea what my face said, but I can only imagine it was something like “WOW!” or “Shut up you bigoted ass!” or perhaps both since I was then referred to as “one of them” shortly after my face had spoken.
There really were no words to respond, well I did think of two, but I wasn’t going that low. One would think that having a 5′ 9″ cricket as his only audience member would make him stop.
Oh, this guy had all the answers. He was explaining everything that should be getting done “down there in Washington” and everything that would be getting done if “all the idiots” didn’t come out to vote. Can you feel my pain?
At this point I began chanting the ole “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” lecture in my head for sanity purposes. I’ll be honest, after the 3rd time there were F-bombs tossed in to keep me out of jail.
I stood in silence wondering what would happen if this guy spent a quarter of his energy actually contributing to something good instead of spreading his relentless mouth farts all over the place. Hmm, maybe … just maybe, it would loosen that padlock on his mind.
Since that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon, I continued to silently ingest his gases while loading my groceries at the speed of light. As if food shopping wasn’t enough to suck the life out of me…seriously.
“All of us wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don’t. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity.” Robert Kennedy
As you can imagine this left me with a huge social hangover by the time I got home. You know that wonderful feeling you get when you’re around exhausting people for a long period of time. It was going to take something much stronger than CALGON to take me away from this one!
I decided that the toxic remnants of this encounter had to leave before they did any more damage so I went out on my deck, flopped onto my swing and turned on some tunes. I was swinging in the silence when out of nowhere BAM! Teddy Pendergast saved the day. Thank you higher power, thank you very much!
I’m glad I didn’t waste my words on someone who didn’t deserve to hear my voice. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. Stay awake and Enjoy the Ride!
Life With The Top Down 
Hard to understand the motives of others but thank you for sharing and keeping your cool !
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Your self-control is laudable!! I am a bit concerned though about how much of his gaseous exhortations you had to inhale. Any new or bizarre symptoms, call the CDC right away ok? 😉
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Hahahaha! Will do.
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Hope you iced that tongue you’d been biting when you got home!
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It was severed!
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Such an important lesson, Lisa: to know when to engage and when to maintain silence. I’m still working on that one! xoxoM
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It’s not easy that’s for sure!
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Thank you for adding this new terminology, “mouth farts”, to my vocabulary. I promise it will be well used. And yes, food shopping is enough to suck the life out of anyone. I have no tolerance for it.
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Isn’t it just perfect? I love it too.
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Great post, but sometimes you’ve just got to tell the fool to shut the f**k up.
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Hahahaha…I know but that 2nd amendment scares me, just a little, and he seemed like a big fan.
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Hahahaha! I know but I’m a little afraid of that 2nd amendment and this guy seemed to be a big fan.
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What I hate most is when people automatically assume that of course you would agree with their point of view because of how you look. Some of my best friends are considerably more conservative than I am. I am always amazed what they blame for the woes of the world. Seriously do they think any one person or one law or one anything has made the world what it is?
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Exactly!
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Oh the restorative powers of a baby blue tuxedo and a long Soul Train!
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I know! I loved the dancers in the background too.
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Silence is the best option. Don’t take the bait and simply fight another day when your words will likely be listened to. Teddy P will cure many ails.
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Seems like you just described three of the people I work with. This is what I listen to every……single…….day. I just turn my radio up and drown them out.
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I’ve got a wide variety of music in my home and car and access it often. The power of music to drown out the idiocy of life key to my suvival. Without it, I might turn into a cranky pants version of myself.
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Sometimes it is just hard to remember the freedom of speech part of our country… sometimes you just want the freedom to gag…. DAF
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Honestly! I respect opinion that may not be my own, but I can not tolerate the hate.
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I’m totally impressed that you were able to NOT respond. People like that get me going and I might have shot back with something nasty. And ‘mouth farts’??? That’s classic …. I love it when you create expressions 🙂
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Teddy can cure anything, including an attack of mouth farts… So stealing that one! Proud of you and your restraint. You’re a much stronger woman than I am as I most likely would have told him to shut the #%^* up! Although, i dont know if I ever told you about that time I was in the waiting room at the doctor and that guy with the verbal diarea turned his attention towards me so I pointed to my ear as if to indicate I was deaf. Then the idiot said to me, “Oh, you’re deaf? ” I nodded my head & 5 minutes later when they called my name from the other side of the wall, I popped right up. The look on his face was priceless! Sometimes you just have to be rude! 🙂
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You have to wonder how some people are so ignorant of social cues. He is entitled to his opinion and to voice it but why bother doing that to someone, a stranger, who is completely disinterested. Seems like a foolish person.
I’m sure you were wise to not bother speaking back. He was probably looking for an argument.
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The older we get the easier live and let live is, I think. Great tale.
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Why don’t I ever have excitement like that in my grocery store??? Didn’t you tell him you would rather be reading about North West? Love the part about your face speaking before your mouth does. And, ‘Mouth F’s’ is so cute… sorry I can’t bring myself to say that word, it’s too fucking crude.
Of course Teddy came to the rescue… that’s what Teds are for… whether you need good advice, a calming down or just a hug… all you have to do is call.
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Hahahaha! Your are so right. I’ve always had a Ted in my life that could work their magic, including a stuffed bear and an Old English Sheep dog and now a blog buddy : )
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🙂
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Sometimes I wish I had a sign saying “Silence is Golden, I’ll pay you to shut the f— up!” I would let you borrow it.
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