Mom Mom? Mom!



In honor of Mother’s Day this weekend I am once again sharing a post that I wrote in honor of my own mother Venita Momma You Were Born This Way.

I am blessed to be celebrating her once again this year, considering she was 37 when she brought me into this world, I never imagined that at 50 I would still have this privilege. Feel free to insert a big ole Awwww.

Mom is now 87 and I am so grateful that every Friday we spend our day going from one place to another. It’s usually food shopping, banking or a doctor’s appointment here or there. Nothing out of the ordinary, but we have the opportunity to be together and that is certainly extraordinary. A priceless gift indeed!

A few years back when my mom gave up driving, on her own unlike my father who didn’t give up without a fight, my sisters and I came up with a schedule to get mom out from behind her four dull walls. I for one can honestly say it was the best thing that could have happened. This gives us all the opportunity to spend quality time with our mother, which we may not have gotten if she was still whizzing around town on her own. A blessing in disguise!

These weekly outings have certainly provided me with a chance to sit back and ponder on 4314172db9187c2ca55aaaefea54296bmy own challenges in raising my children who are now 21 & 19. I  have to look at my mom and ask “how the hell did you survive these years … TWICE?  See, I have older siblings and my brother turned 19 just a few days after I was born! Yea…let that sink in for a minute…

Just as she was about to receive her “I survived raising my teenagers” t-shirt she had to change the shitty diapers of my sister and I since we are only 15 months apart! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Oh, as if this wasn’t enough to warrant a statue being erected in her honor, factor in that she went to work full-time when I was about 7 and was still required by Archie Bunker/my dad to fulfill her “wifely duties” of cooking, cleaning and waiting on him hand and foot. Oh … dear … lord how did she have the restraint not to murder?

I never thought I would actually say “changing diapers and breast-feeding are looking pretty good right now”, but I find myself saying it DAILY and one day I said it to my mom. Her laughter was genuine, but I must admit it was a little unnerving. Then I realized the truth usually is right? You know when there is nothing left but to laugh you don’t have a chance.

c6d04e91982dc4f13f1ca85a73e8c416Over the years I certainly had my chance to take my mother’s advice, but did I? Well, sometimes I did, but in reality I thought I “knew it all” just like my kids do. Paybacks really are a bitch! 

  • When my mom said “believe me you don’t want him to walk too early” I thought she was crazy until my son started building his own scaffolding to unlock the front door and the gray hairs began.
  • When my mom said “let her take her time driving, she doesn’t need her license yet.” Well, I was tired of waiting up to go fetch her from wherever she was, so she got her license. Yea, waiting up until she gets home safely is so much more relaxing…not!

    Here are my two creations. They buckle their own seat belts and wipe their own asses, which is all I ever really wanted.

    Here are my two creations. They buckle their own seat belts and wipe their own asses, which is all I ever really wanted.

The list could go on, but frankly it’s becoming a little embarrassing at this point. Look, motherhood does not come with a manual for a reason … it’s too fucking scary! No one is going to see that movie after reading the book .. capisce? 

So, take time to listen to the wisdom of the survivors other women in your life … your mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, cousins or honestly anyone with a vagina.

All women are mothers of the world. All of us give birth to something bigger than ourselves. All women are badass and need to be celebrated, so get out there and as always … Enjoy the Ride!








26 responses

  1. Happy Mom’s Day to your mom and to you!!

    1. Thank you Mimi and to you as well. Hope you had a wonderful day!

  2. Happy Mother’s Day. I am hope my mother of 82 will give up driving like your mother did. My wife had to take my mother in law’s keys away due to the onset of Alzheimer’s. Not fun. Your mother sounds like a gem x two. Best wishes, BTG

    1. Giving up “freedom” is so difficult. We were all very glad my mother realized it was time. It’s very sad to be dependent on others for the simplest of things like going to the store. My heart goes out to you!

  3. Vaginas are such under-rated organs … Good to see your wave in this space!

    1. They really are Elyse! Thank you.

  4. You are lucky! I remember special day trips with my Mom — doctor’s appointments, shopping and always lunch! Good times.

  5. Ha ha! (Only threw up in your mouth a little?) I like how you kept the list of wifely duties G rated. Happy Mother’s Day! You have an impressive brood.

  6. Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! I love that you appreciate the humour and the irony.

  7. Your take on motherhood is refreshingly real and if your Mom is reading this, she must be having a very Happy Mother’s Day! And you too!

  8. Happy Mother’s Day.

  9. What a wonderful picture of her…welcome back Top…you’ve been missed…and your kids…they are very handsome and happy right off the page. Wonder what their mom is like. Have a lovely Mother’s Day. Peanut must be out getting you flowers.

    1. Oh, they better be happy. I couldn’t deal with a grumpy kid…ugh. Peanut treats me like a queen every day. As a matter of fact he is licking my feet at this very moment.

      1. Queen Top…I like that.

  10. Happy Mother’s Day to you both! Love your photos.
    You’re right about the advice. I find I’m giving very similar life tips as my own mom. 🙂 Enjoy your day!

  11. Happy Mother’s Day. What a well worded post. Sounds like you and your mom have a special bond. It is scary to think back now and realize they were right about so much.

  12. Happy Mother’s Day!

  13. Mom’s are special – Happy Mother’s Day! I have on a number of occasions called my mom to say thank you and then apologize for my behavior as a teenager. My bothers and I were 17 months apart and we drove her crazy for close to twenty five years straight. I don’t know how she did it but she did – most of it by herself after my parents divorced. She’s still going strong at the age of 76.. thanks – have a great week, I hope it’s off to great start.

  14. Happy Mother’s Day, Lisa!

  15. Happy mother’s day. Great pic of you and your marvellous creations.

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