My love bugs!
I’m sure you were all wondering if I decided to drive off a cliff with the top down after turning 50, but actually it’s been just the opposite. That’s right I’ve been out and about spending my days being nothing short of FAB-U-LOUS!
My husband hosted a luncheon in my honor at the beautiful Bridgetown Mill House, where I was celebrated by my family. I must say the best gift of the day was not purchased at any store. I know that sounds like a cliché, but it is 100% true.
There is something extremely healthy about being surrounded by people who really love you with all their heart. Truly the best birthday EVAH!
Fear one tackled! Celebrating after my first 5k!!
After all the celebrating I made a decision to take on some fears that have been preventing me from being the best me. Fears tend to do that you know.
It was time to pack up my younger self for a short trip down memory lane.I gave her a big “it’s been real bitch”, grabbed my aging self and ran like hell! Honestly, the “who cares” phase is so much more liberating than the “what will they think?” phase of my life.
Next up was recognizing or admitting that I’m not getting those younger years back, so I better start a hot and heavy love affair with the future real soon. Once I realized that 50 was actually the threshold to get me to the future, I came to terms with the realities. Holding onto the past is only going to leave you standing out on the porch pissed off at the world.
Below is a sample of some truths that I chose to face before crossing the threshold.
1. No matter how good I feel about the look of my ass, I will NEVER be able to go commando in my workout pants … ever!
- REASON: Panty lines are no longer a big deal when you’ve been forced to wear the equivalent of a twin sized mattress between your legs for fear of peeing all over the floor during a workout.
2. I really should have taken the time to appreciate what I saw in the mirror when I had the chance. I feel as though I wasted so much time and energy focusing on my “faults” during every reflection, I never got to appreciate the whole package.
- REASON: The day will come when you pass a mirror, take a few steps back, look again and say “who the fuck is that?”
3. Now when my phone rings in the middle of the night it will not be a drunk girlfriend summoning me to a club where there is 
an abundance of hot available men nor will it be a hot available man summoning my booty.
- REASON: Phone calls in the middle of the night now mean two things .. DEATH or DEATH.
4. Sight is a gift that I have taken for granted. I wish I spent my youth threading more needles, reading more newspapers or just “seeing” anything and everything.
- REASON: The day will come when you realize you now have the same vision as a naked mole rat. This means that your chances of mistaking a mannequin for a live person now have better odds than you winning the lottery.
5. During my 20’s I really should have taken advantage of going braless. I should have worked the perkiness of my breasts and flaunted them to the world. They were nothing short of magnificent!!
- REASON: One day you will wake up and actually justify rolling up your now sagging breasts, placing them into a something that resembles a medieval torture contraption … just to go food shopping.
I’ll admit crossing the threshold was filled with some mixed emotions. It was like being really happy at a funeral. If that makes any sense at all. I just stood in the doorway thinking “damn this is liberating” , until I noticed the sickle of the Grim Reaper shining just a tad brighter in the distance. Back It Up Bitch!
Instead of trying to beat age make the most of it. If that means bedazzling your adults diapers … do it!
Enjoy the Ride!
Life With The Top Down 
Damn I missed you! No. 2 really hit home!
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Hilarious! 50 is fabulous and fearless and liberating! It’s the age when you stop caring what other people think! I never waste time on that now, bra or no bra….. 🙂
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You truly are fifty and fucking fabulous! 🙂
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You have been missed. I really look in the mirror on occasion and wonder who is the old fart whose neck I am shaving. I am a pair of nickels now, parts hurt and I don’t know why and I need to sit down and take a water break after the mowing the front before moving to the back. I call it halftime. But, I am content and still learning. Maybe I will figure this stuff out some time – nah. Take care and don’t stay away as long. BTG
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I’m glad you’ve been having so much fun! Yay!
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happy 50th – it has been said that ‘youth is lost on the young.’ it is only because they don’t have the experience and wisdom that comes with age… you ar eonly as young as you want to be – enjoying the ride is best part!
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So true Clay,I choose to be the Mick Jagger definition of old.
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Welcome back and you came back with a bang! Great post. I can relate to all of it. I always want to tell my young relatives these things but they don’t care just like I didn’t listen when I was their age. I remember my Mom saying, “Today is the best you are going to look for the rest of your life.” The best part is that it matters less.
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Good to be back Kate. Once again mothers know their stuff!!
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Love this and great to see you back. On the other side of 50 is liberation if you go with the flow. This comment is in no way connected to your reason 1.
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Hahahaha!
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All too true, sure do miss those young eyes!
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Amen to that!
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That’s freaking hilarious … and so damn true. I hit the big 4-7 earlier this month so I’m getting closer to that zero birthday than I want to think about. But now I have your guidelines about how to run head first into that new chapter 🙂
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There you go! Quit with the 90 is the new 20 nonsense, and embrace 50 as what it is, OLD and THEN life really begins to get interesting. Rolling them up? How does that work, exactly?
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Hahaha! I am working on a helpful tutorial.
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Peanut just texted me…I can’t believe you’re only 50, not because you look it Top…you don’t, but because I have almost 10 years on you. it’s nice you’re celebrating…better than putting black crepe on all the mirrors like when Lincoln died. That’s what I did. Kept me busy so I didn’t think about being a half century old.
All kidding aside…I hope you have a great day. And I’m so glad Life With The Top Down is back in business. You’re so, so funny.
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I am sitting at the bank and this made me laugh until I cried! Try on 57 and just keep moving forward! Happy 2nd half of life ! It will be grand 🌷🌷🌷
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I’m thankful I was home alone when I read this – I just spit coffee all over my laptop! Folding them up into a torture contraption just to go grocery shopping! Hahahahahahaha!
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All of this! Wonderfully true!
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