When The Coffin Lid Closes

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She must want me

For centuries women have had to endure inappropriate Neanderthal comments from the opposite sex … a/k/a men. 

Simmer down guys there is no reason to get the torches ready. I’m not talking about ALL men here, just those creatures who sadly try their best to give you all a bad name. True fact!

Recently there has been a stir about street harassment from some very outspoken young women. Oh how I wish I was one of them back in the 80’s. 

When I worked in Center City Philadelphia, as a young lamb just entering the slaughter known as the working world, I experienced a group of Neanderthals. Young, naïve and right to the wolves.

It was a beautiful spring day waaaaaaay back in 1989 when I left the confines of my office for that hour of peace called lunch. I 2a37c3bef5cf11737e8a6963c328c05eremember this like it was yesterday because of the outfit I was wearing.

I recently purchased a coral colored straight skirt with a thin gold chain belt; a cream-colored blouse and chunky gold necklace. It was new, sophisticated and never worn again after it debuted that beautiful spring day. 

Never is my wildest imagination did I think this outfit would cause such a stir among the construction workers, but you just never know what will provoke a crew of Neanderthals. Do not feed the animals! 

Me:  Sitting in the courtyard just enjoying the beauty of the day.

Construction workers:  “Hey Creamsicle”

Me:  Oblivious just chillin in the sun.

Construction workers:  “Creamsicle! How bout a lick?”

Me:  Curious, but still oblivious to what or who they were talking to.

Construction workers:  “I love that creamy middle Creamsicle”

Me: Then the lightbulb F I N A L L Y went off and I realized … I am Creamsicle!

Have you ever seen a creamsicle run? Well, you missed that boat folks. 

I couldn’t get back to my office fast enough, with a slew of emotions in tow. Is it possible feel ashamed, embarrassed, confused, pissed-off and somewhat flattered all at the same time? Yes, in fact it is thank you very much.

816e1887b33a3832f433990befdd4571Fast forward to today when my young daughter is out there among the wolves. She was working while on winter break, when she had the displeasure of experiencing her own version of Tales From The Cave.

Having it happen to me is one thing, but hearing my cub tell me about the “old creep” who was hitting on her … Oh, this is a game changer. Suddenly putting a hit out on someone seems completely reasonable. 

She innocently helped a Neanderthal to his car with his purchases. Why? Because he had a walker and was struggling. My little cub was just being kind.

As she is loading his car he said: “Thanks for your help, but it would be better if you were wearing a bikini.”

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why couldn’t this guy just say ‘thank you”? WHY?! 2bde270925138c46bc5443499ab33bca

My daughter, who was still in shock when she returned home, couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that this crippled man; who was old like her father, could say something “sooooo gross.” Why is the sky blue? 

This is when I filled her in on the fact that it doesn’t matter if a man is old, young, crippled or on his fucking death-bed. They will continue to make inappropriate remarks to women … drum roll please Until The Coffin Lid Closes! 

Speak up and Enjoy the RIde!

20 responses

  1. Those guys give the rest of us a bad name. I often avoid saying anything to women for fear of being misinterpreted.

      1. …and once again, I’m going to keep my pie-hole shut!

  2. What a sleaze! Hopefully, his sliminess will not deter her from helping someone again should they look like they need it. He should be ashamed of himself but I doubt he even thinks he was inappropriate in any way. I wish I was there to “accidentally” kick that walker out from under him.

    1. Hahahahaha! I was thinking the same thing … oops! The helping is genetic…thank goodness.

  3. maybe his medication was either kicking in or wearing off!

    1. One can only hope that was his excuse.

  4. Great story sad that it happens so often.

  5. Just because your old doesn’t mean you cannot be a dumb ass. His way of thanking a nice young lady for helping him is to insult her.

  6. Hahaha! I know exactly what you mean. It is a mix of emotions. My daughter has been cat called in Denver and she says it depends on the words and delivery. If some random guy says she is rockin’ her dress, she thanks him, but anything more derogatory and she ignores the brute.

    1. It definitely depends on the presentation!

  7. If women didn’t want to receive crass comments, they shouldn’t have left the kitchen, amirite??

    1. Don’t forget barefoot & pregnant

  8. After the fact you can come up with all these comebacks like “would you say that to your daughter?” or maybe to be a little nastier “your granddaughter.” I am so sorry you retired a perfectly good (and most likely gorgeous outfit) because of those workers. When I was young and worked “downtown” there was a huge hotel under construction across the street from my office building. I would go out of my way to avoid those guys, changing my lunch hour and walking extra blocks. Today they wouldn’t notice me.

    1. This is when Liberty II was being built. They were everywhere and I know what you mean about avoiding.

  9. Wow. What the hell? It seems douchebaggery has no age restrictions.

    1. Sadly this is true. Hope all is well Scott.

  10. Obviously she should be armed with some responses like “those who talk about it the most get it the least, that walker is speaking volumes for you sir!”

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