Would Ya Give Me A Minute!

imagesWell, it looks like another holiday season is being shoved out the door before it’s over.

There is all this hubbub about “keeping the Christ is Christmas” yet we allow Cupid to shove him out the door before the New Year has had a chance to ring itself in. NEXT! 

Oh, and if my Catholic upbringing serves me correctly, those three wise men haven’t even made it to the stable yet with their useless gifts! I’m pretty sure Mary could have used some blankets over frankincense.

I was so taken back on Monday morning when I noticed Christmas trees already kicked to the curb. It is 3 days after Christmas people … calm down! 

Even the Hallmark store has exploded into everything hearts and flowers overnight. Cupid clearly arrived on steroids shoving all remnants of Christmas over to the clearance table without even batting those long lashes of his. Never underestimate the power of a cherub.

I know one thing for sure if I were a kid I would be having a meltdown!

Christmas was a time to be on break from school, not rush us back the minute our gifts were open. No time for savoring family, friends and the spirit of the season.

Today everything moves at the speed of light, even for kids. The days of stock-photo-a-mother-is-late-for-school-and-work-while-rushing-with-her-children-for-a-funny-stress-concept-on-188322434waking up late in your own bed, playing with your loot from Santa and hanging with your friends are loooooonnnggg over. The streets are barren today other than an occasional tumbleweed.

New generations go straight from the womb to the hamster wheel. I watch young parents on my block packing their new wheel goers into the car as early as 6:00 a.m. and they don’t stop spinning until early evening. Go, go go.

School supplies are back in isle 6 before you have a chance to empty the remains from the previous school year. Candy corn hits the stores in July and is still hanging around in November. Proving once again Candy Corn & Twinkie’s will be here long after a nuclear disaster.

August comes and the likes of the Pumpkin Lattes start rearing their spiced heads in the middle of a heat wave. The store shelves are filled with leather boots when the air conditioners are blasting, and the remains of summer are shoved in a dark corner sporting big red clearance stickers a/k/a the scarlet letter of garments. The only sizes left are lawn gnome or circus tent before we’ve had a chance to hit the beach.

Don’t think our pets are spared from this insanity. The thermometer here in Philly was still reading “Satan’s Balls” when I walked into a display of Halloween costumes at the pet store. Please…not the pets … they’ve done nothing.

The modern world thrives on speed, instantaneity, and immediate results. When you start believing you can loose 50 pounds in 3 weeks with a pill  yup, there’s a problem. 

The roads, lines of any sort, or basically “waiting” for anything over a nano second suddenly sends people into full-blown huffing and puffing mode. Umm … yea … unless you’re transporting an organ or you’re on your way to solve world peace … you’re not going anywhere that can’t wait a minute. 

I REFUSE to surrender to this lifestyle!

If you decide to ride my bumper in your quest to go nowhere to do nothing, I will slow down to the speed of a glazier … don’t make me. 

If you huff and puff behind my mother in line while she counts her change, expect the glare of death. Fear it might actually work.

If you complain that you cannot get an appointment today for that painful toe you’ve have for a month you will NOT go on the cancellation list. Yes, I am the boss of the list.

Happy New Year Folks! Use 2016 to be mindful of the present, your manners and the importance of  ….  Enjoying the Ride!

23 responses

  1. Whatever you had for breakfast, I want some! I think people are not comfortable “in the moment.” It’s always “what’s next?” Much as I love a tasty Starbucks drink, having the pumpkin thingies come out when the s’mores fraps should be here is just wrong! Sometimes (except when I get flummoxed on my computer) I’m glad I was born when I was. My summers were glorious! Filled with unstructured fun and unplanned play with other kids. I think that’s where you learn your leadership skills. If you can be the head of your neighborhood group (without bullying of course) you are a born leader. No trophies for all or adults to intercede. (Is it spring yet?)

    1. WORD!!
      My summers lasted for decades! Leadership, critical thinking and teamwork were part of our every day existence. It took a village to come up with a game made out of nothing but a bottle cap, but had the capability of keeping up busy for hours.

  2. Whoa! I’ll give you some room.
    It’s all about money, but I would think that NO ONE would buy any Valentine’s stuff this early. Sheesh!
    Happy New Year, Lisa!

    1. Honestly, if I purchased something now I would forget where the hell I put it.
      Happy New Year to you too!!

  3. I’m in favor of stretching the Christmas season into February. It’s not like we have anything better going on in the winter.

    1. Exactly! Not a damn thing going on but cold. We could all be drinking & eating for 31 more days.

  4. Heard the term Twixmas this morning, that time of year between Christmas and New Year. We invented Eastmas, having seen Easter Eggs being delivered on Christmas Eve in 2013.
    Every day has potential. Hope you have 366 good days in 2016. 🙂

    1. I’m speechless and that my friend is rare.
      Happy & Healthy New Year to you!

      1. You too! May 2016 be a good one for you.

  5. I’m still not ready to move on from Christmas 2014 and Christmas 2015 has already come and gone. I think we should consider spacing these holidays out a bit more. I could do with Christmas every two years.

    1. I’d actually like to go back to the Christmas of around 1970.
      All the best to you and yours in 2016.

  6. Lisa, I love your final paragraphs, especially the one about the tailgater going nowhere to do nothing. We are in such a hurry to buy nirvana that we fail to realize we need to slow down to recognize what is important.

    All the best to you and your family in 2016. Peace be with you. Keith

    1. Thank you Keith! I actually say it daily while driving. Now that I have my Peace license plate I can’t salute with a certain finger, so I talk to myself…lol
      Happy New Year to you and yours!

  7. I love what Kate said. This is one of your best. Yes, Xmas is getting the bum’s rush alright. I hate it. If I see one more fucking heart, pardon my Italian, I’m going to scream and run nude on the Long Island Expressway.

    1. Hahaha! Thank you! For some reason this year it has really gotten to me. I found myself feeling sad for the trees laying on the curb..maybe it’s the hormones?

      1. Or maybe it’s the trees 🙂

  8. TOtally agree. Too much rushing. I too will not accept this madness. SLow down, why rush to your death! Just “enjoy the ride”.

  9. I did not say to the scheduler that since the dermatologist can’t see me for that little thing on my eyebrow until September, I’ll just go ahead and die of cancer. Did I?

    Also, being raised Catholic myself (thoroughly prolapsed since), the urge to confess is irresistible. I did change lines at the grocery store when the older woman in front of me (much, much older, mind you) started counting her dimes onto the counter.

    That said, the Princess of Slow Down hereby bows to the new Queen. Wait. That wouldn’t be Steve Harvey handing out the crown would it?

    Happy New Year Blog Friend.

    1. Hahahaha! I would have said that to the Dermatologist too, because it is truly impossible to get a appointment. Why can’t that Catholic upbringing just leave? It’s so dang deep!

  10. Keep fighting the good fight, my friend.

  11. Bravo! Agree, although I do have some Valentine’s stuff out, of course it is buried under the Christmas things that I need to put away and haven’t yet. I have a whole room filled with Christmas I need to pack away… six artificial trees of varying sizes, all the ornaments, ribbons, tree skirts, etc… I needed something out to not make the house look so barren….

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