In The Blink Of An Eye

 

d00f5b0392e69910d109d4bd287f7f98We all know the saying. We’ve all used it to describe various things in our lives. Those of us with children know it well. Somehow watching our children go from bottles to red Solo cups overnight. 

The seasons always leave us with this phrase, especially summer, which seems to be running out of Dodge faster each year. One minute we’re watching fireworks, the next we’re trying to escape a pumpkin invasion.

The holidays use to leave us with this feeling, however, now that Christmas hits the stores before Halloween it’s no longer the case. The Christmas season officially lasts longer than most relationships.

These are examples of what I consider a natural course in change. They are as comfortable as that old sweatshirt in our closets. 

But what about those other moments? You know, the ones that leave us numb in disbelief. The moments that leave us repeatedly asking “what just happened?” large majority have been doing this since Tuesday.

All I know is that NOTHING could have prepared me for the life changing, blink of an eye, roller coaster ride I’ve been living for the past few weeks. By the wayI hate roller coasters in and outside of the amusement park.

October 12th was nothing short of a normal day in the life of me. Morning chores, work and home. Boring at best.  

I called my husband to let him know I was on my way. Everything was normal at 6:11 p.m. When I arrived home at 6:27 I was met by my daughter outside of the house. She said that my husband was screaming, cursing and acting crazy. Out of character was an understatement.

When I walked in to try to find out what was going on it escalated. So, I got the fur babies ready for a walk and off we went while that fire simmered down. If they could talk, maybe I could have gotten a heads up.

While out on the walk I received a text stating “I’m moving on.” WHAT?! 

I called home only to hear a voice I never heard before informing me that he is “done” “moving on.” I ran with the fur babies in tow, possibly airborne, with my heart in my stomach back to the house. 

64deb0ff996b4ace8f191bc355ccf955How did I go from saying “I’m on my way home”to screaming “What is happening?”

How did I go from hearing “I’m feeding the dogs” to “I’m moving on.”?

How did I go from walking my dogs to pulling pills out of the mouth of the man I love?

How did I go from a hum drum day to rushing into an ER?

How did I go from worrying about bullshit to making life changing decisions?

How did I go from thinking everything was fine to feeling like I was hit with a bat?

How did I go from seeing the strength in my husband’s eyes to staring at his weakness?

How did I go from a happy go lucky girl to a sleepless shell?

I don’t have the answers to all of these questions just yet, but I have hope.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I have faith.

I don’t know how to live my new normal, but I have an open mind.

I don’t know if we’ll be ok, but we have our love.

I don’t know how I was blind, but now I can see.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense, but I’m trying.

I DO know that I have 99 problems, but my new perspective won’t allow Donald Trump to be one of them, and for that, I am grateful.

Enjoy the Ride … one speed bump at a time!

 

 

27 responses

  1. I am so sorry. Hugs to you all.

    1. Thanks Kate! We’re all making positive progress.

  2. Well said. We all need a lesson in keeping things in perspective and worrying about only those things we can control.

    1. Exactly! I idon’thave the energy.

  3. I can’t hit like. I hope you are all making it through.

  4. Perspective- We may have 99 problems but that bitch ain’t one.

  5. I’m so sorry, Lisa! Perhaps it’s not weakness you’re seeing in your husband’s eyes but vulnerability? Holding all of us in Love and Light. xoxoM

    1. Agreed! Thank you…Love & Light are always welcome.

  6. Lisa, I’ve been in your shoes, and there’s nothing I can say that will make any sense of this. All you can do is your very best to support your husband through his battles and make sure to take a little time for yourself every once in a while to recuperate. Here’s hoping for the best for the both of you. *Hugs*

    1. Thank you Scott! I needed to get it out. Keeping everyone else happy is weighing me down. It’s a process, but I see light at the end of the tunnel.

      1. If you need a break, take a break. It’s okay to do that. We all need to recharge. Hang in there.

  7. Oh Lisa, I’m so sorry. I hope you all find your a healing place in this new normal. Love and strength to you all.

    1. Thank you! We’re getting there… slow…by there.

  8. I think seeing someone you love in that much pain shows you who you really are. He’ll rally. You’ll be patient till he completely does and when it’s all in the past, you’ll love each even more…if that’s possible. SB

    1. Already on a good path…one day at a time.

      1. yes, one day at a time…the only path to take for any of us.

  9. Lisa…that bombshell…that blindside…I’ve been there and made it through. I’m glad to hear there has been some positive progress and I hope that it continues. We may not have seen each other since high school, but know that I feel your pain and am here if you ever need me. You know how to get in touch if you ever need to vent, scream, rage, cry. Seriously. HUGS and LOVE! ❤

    1. Thank you Janice. I appreciate your kindness ❤

  10. I’ve been in that place too, and though it was 20 years ago the pain and fear is still fresh. Thinking of you and hoping for the best.

    1. The amount of people who have been in this place surprises me every day.

  11. Oh dear, Tops. What a nightmare. I hope your husband is doing ok now. Life just seems to be filled with one fucking thing after another.

    Stay strong, my friend. We’re here for you….

  12. Oh my word! I hope you are okay. Know my thoughts and prayers are with you. ❤

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