Reincarnation Goals

970d9b6bb8d57af7aeb6f4fd4a7f3db4

Lesson #1:  Speak Clearly When Relaying Your Reincarnation Request.

Whether you believe in reincarnation or not I’m sure there has been a moment in your life when you thought “wow, I would love to come back as _________.” I have on more than one occasion.

I always imagined coming back as an animal, well, because they are just so much better people. Nothing but unconditional love.

I’m thinking something domesticated, nothing that prowls around in the jungle. That life seems a little tense.

Honestly, I’m not into looking over my shoulder on a daily basis because of a big bad co-animal looking for a snack or some bored rich guy looking for a new rug … OH HELL TO THE NO!

71c953002c8d757f62a38ca5a5a314d8

Too Hilarious Not to Share

Being a bird might be cool, but I’m not a big fan of heights, or a world where clean windows are potential death traps. Although leaving my mark on the windshields of the world while laughing from a nearby tree does sound inviting. Hmm … maybe.

Then I thought perhaps I could be a peacock, a flamingo or one of those other birds that have wings just for show. Everyone admires them for their good looks and pities them for their inability to fly. Hmm, sounds like the Kim K of the bird world … no thanks. 

Looks like I’m a house pet kind of girl, however, I want to be placed in a house with someone who loves their pets like I do. Yes, I’m being selective. 

88d7638d6e6fce200ce1b5e31b8830ddEven though I’m deathly allergic to cats, I must say I LOVE their cattitudes. Recently I witnessed a cat walking across a 4 lane road, looking straight ahead as we all screeched, swerved and skidded to avoid killing him. ZERO folks … Z E R O ef’s were given! 

He was so badass! He marched up a nearby lawn without even turning to inquire what all the ruckus was about. He already knew people, he already knew. 

If I had the pleasure of coming back as a cat, I would insist on being Kate’s cat. Kate, over at Views and Mews, is the Carol Brady of cat moms. She’s purrfect! 

I already picked out my parents if I’m lucky enough to come back as a dog. I want gay  parents. Like Cam & Mitchel from Modern Family.40575314-chihuahua-dog-with-bags-and-luggage-or-baggage-ready-for-summer-vacation-holidays-at-the-beach-isola-Stock-Photo

I met Richard and Robert when I took Peanut & Landon to the Vet. They were dropping off their daughter dog Bette. I’m 100% certain she is named after Bette Davis.

Bette had luggage including a monogrammed tote that read “The girl that owns this bag has been untouched, she is an original sexy beast.” I was very close to asking if they would consider rescuing a middle-aged woman. 

As I sat green with envy, watching Bette sitting next to her tote as if she knew the routine. First the endless kisses. Then the hugs. Next, the reassurance she’ll have a fabulous getaway as she was swept off her paws by the young attendant, and carried to her suite. It was love at first sight for me. 

Enjoy the Ride!

 

13 responses

  1. Sooo incredibly fun and astute! You helped me decide that I would come back as a girl cat with drag queen parents!

    1. Hahahaha! Goals baby, goals. That is the jackpot!

  2. Too funny. Did the dog have Bette Davis’ eyes? You had me at the Hippie cartoon. Well done, Lisa.

      1. Now I have that song in my head.

  3. Valkyrie is sitting next to me, in her jammies, patiently waiting for our morning walk. Which outfit shall she wear today? 😉 xoxoM

    1. Hahaha … isn’t it the best?

      1. Yes! It IS! 😉 xoxoM

  4. I am always in a state of awe and envy when I hear some celebrity prattle on about the life they led as an Egyptian pharaoh or Elizabethan noble…..me? All I can recall is the five thousand lives as a dung beetle.

  5. So you want to be my cat? Well, we would neuter you for sure. Then I would insist you eat healthy. (Still wanna come?) However, there are cat towers and sunny windows. I’m growing tomato plants from seed and have a cat who has figured out how to fit under the sun lamp. Animals teach you something everyday and make you laugh.

  6. You make the ride bitchin’, old friend.
    Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: