Bye Bitch

via Daily Prompt: Insist

Verb: demand something forcefully, not accepting refusal.

This right here is the story of my life Monday through Thursday as I’m slaving away at my job in the healthcare industry.

I’m not sure what occurs before a potential patient contacts our office for an appointment, but it’s not a moment of zen.

I imagine more of a good look in the mirror for a one on one pep talk. “You got this!” “Pick up that phone and DEMAND to be seen TODAY because everything is ALL about YOU!”

The other explanation would be that they just live their every day lives like the entitled e’ffers they are, and this is their norm. This right here is the winner.

Me:  Good morning Doctor’s office.

PITA:  I need to be seen today around 1. Have you been eating your make-up again?

Me:  Are you already a patient?

PITA:  No! Bitch in the house.

Me:  Did you have a trauma?

PITA:  No! Ok, I see where this is heading.

Me:  Are you a diabetic with a wound?

PITA:  No! God help us all.

Me:  Why do you need to be seen today?

PITA:  I have a painful corn on my toe, and I’m leaving for Florida tomorrow. Tragic, absolutely tragic.

Me:  Well, that’s not something we would consider an emergency.

PITA:  But I’m in pain, and I have things to do before I leave. Sounds like a first world problem to me. 

Me:  You would be a new patient, which takes extra time and you do not have an emergency.

PITA:  You mean to tell me you don’t save time for emergencies? Can you please Google emergency?

Me:  Yes, we do, but your situation is not an emergency.

PITA:  Being in pain isn’t an emergency? You are being inconvenienced, there’s a difference.  

Me:  Not the type of pain you’re experiencing.

PITA: Well, what am I going to do? I hoping for death.

Me:  Call around to see if you can get in with another physician.

PITA:  I don’t have time for that today. I told you I needed to come today at 1:00. Because you are who again?

Me:  I’m sorry, but I already told you that would not be possible.

PITA:  Huffing and puffing. The agony of defeat is music to my ears.

Me:  Ok?

PITA:  I guess I’ll have to try someone else since you don’t want to help me. Bye Bitch!

Me:  Silence. CLICK! BAM! BOOM!

Enjoy the ride!

 

 

9 responses

  1. Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllll!

    There should be a bonus in pay for every time we don’t tell someone to kick rocks and die!

    1. Honest to God! The lives we are saving every day is remarkable.

  2. Wow. Another case happens because of the entitlement beast. May her toe….well I won’t finish that thought because of karma beast and all that.

    1. Hahahaha! Sadly, she is only one of MANY. I think they’re multiplying.

  3. How do you do that? I keep asking my boss to not make me answer the phone as I am terrified I will call the person on the other end a moron or worse and tell them to f off. Most of the time I am answering the questions on line and I can say whatever I want to them as long as I don’t type it in. Your Doctor needs to give you a bonus!

    1. That is the million dollar question. I’m grateful I find the humor in things, otherwise, I’d be in the prison library writing my blog.

    1. Trip her for me would ya … ugh.

  4. anyone who deals with the public is a saint in my eyes!! Love the running commentary!

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