
Me & Mom 1968
The word suddenly indeed takes center stage with what is on my mind. Friday, like every Friday, is spent with my mom. Due to the nor’easter that hit the east coast this week, we decided to ditch our outside plans. Mother Nature had another idea for me.
Our usual Friday consists of errands. Bank, bakery, Trader Joe’s, and Whole Foods, which means we are in and out of the car a lot. Well, I am. At 91 getting in and out of a vehicle is not an easy task, now add Macular degeneration to the mix, and it’s downright difficult. Not that this stops mom from giving it her best, but knowing her limits.
So, with our change in plans, I was able to spend some quality one-on-one outside of the car. This is where the magic happened.
Suddenly I felt our roles had reversed. Not that V hasn’t given me the opportunity to play worried mother with her in the past. Like the time she didn’t answer her phone, did not let my sisters where she was going or me, which led us to frantically drive to her apartment only to see her laughing around a table with her friends. We all looked surprised as she asked: “what are you doing here?”
My NERVES!
Macular degeneration is something that little by little, but suddenly leaves you without full use of your eyes, something that has taken a toll on my mom physically & mentally. Just imagine having your independence pulled out from under your feet.
Now, my once never asking for help independent mother before it was fashionable, suddenly has to have her daughters read her mail. Along with everything else in print.
After reading the mail on Friday, I had the pleasure of reading a letter to my mom. Not just any letter, a letter from a friend, who just happens to be an avid reader and recently read an incredible book about Jackie O., her sister Lee and mother Janet. Knowing my mom shares the same love for Jackie O, she created a CliffsNotes version for me to share. The highlight of the day!
Over the next few hours, we not only discussed the story in the letter, but it also opened the door to discuss all sorts of subjects, including, but not limited to the fact that very wealthy people are weird. Money does not prevent weirdness, but it can pay someone to brush it under the rug.
My mom insisted on making my lunch. Considering cooking and serving are the two things she can do independently I said yes. What was on the menu you ask? A grilled cheese cut into four squares, veggie chips, and applesauce. Suddenly, feeling five years old again felt terrific!
As we were eating my mom suddenly got serious. Not the norm. Mom began explaining to me that she has been having more bad days than good ones, along with a lecture on the fact that people shouldn’t live this long. What?!
I’m not naive. I understand that at 91 life has an expiration date, but for whatever reason, it suddenly became very evident. Maybe there was something in the cheese?
Suddenly I realized that my days of eating grilled cheese cut into four squares are limited.
Suddenly I realized the promise I made to marry my mom when I was 3 was not going to be fulfilled.
Suddenly I realized that my daily phone chats on the way home from work won’t be around forever.
Suddenly I realized I’m not young anymore and neither is the one person in this world who loves me the most.
Suddenly has a way a sneaking up on you, so make sure you Enjoy the Ride!
So poignant. Took me back to the days I realized my mother was aging. The first time she slipped out of reality was hard for me. She didn’t live too much longer so I never saw the full effects of dementia. Seeing the strongest person in your life age is not for sissies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s really not Kate. I actually thought about you when I was writing this piece.
LikeLike
What a beautiful and heartwarming post! Thank you so much. I was grateful to spend my mother’s last two days with her and be with her when she died. I wish you more lovely moments with your mother while you have her (although those we truly love are always there, in our hearts).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much ❤ You are right!!
LikeLike
I LOVED THIS…i’M SO MOVED BY IT…I didn’t realize your mom was 91. The picture is so beautiful. Look how beautiful she is. I’m just so incredibly touched Top. Truly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you friend, and thank you for giving me this moment ❤ I'm 4 in that photo and V is 41.
LikeLike
It’s a wonderful photograph. Truly wonderful
LikeLiked by 1 person
It seems I have never looked at “suddenly” quite that way before. Yet, now that you have it seems pretty obvious how many times suddenly has snuck up on me. Enjoy every second you can with your amazing Mom. I’d love to give her a hug.
LikeLike
Thank you Silk!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wait a minute, my hanky is around here someplace. My dad is 90. You capture the bitter sweetness of the time I spend with him. Here’s to many more “suddenly” moments. Hope your mom has a turnaround, more good days than bad again.
LikeLiked by 1 person