Panties To Poise Pads

The other night, a weeknight I might add, your friend here made plans with her bestie to see a local comedian that makes us both laugh at the level of tears. I wish he would have brought better eyesight instead! 

My bestie got the tickets without reading that the show STARTS at 10:45 p.m. I’m usually way into REM sleep at this time since I’ve been AWAKE since 4:45 a.m.

Then this Mrs. Magoo failed to notice the address of the venue. We assumed it was in Center City. NOPE! It was at an “upscale dive bar” under the El. (short for elevated train). Hookers, junkies and two middle-aged women out past their bedtimes. Suddenly I’m singing “two of these things is not like the others.”

After endless text messages back and forth trying to decide if going was worth our lives, we finalized the deal with “if we can’t get safe parking we’ll just come home.” Bam!

I head out of my house at 9:15 p.m. on a weeknight, put some 80’s Janet Jackson on the playlist, and channel my inner 23-year-old self to pick up my bestie. The difference between actually being 23 and the reality of being middle aged is I was doing wash before leaving the house.

As soon as my bestie gets in the car, she is happy to hear Janet Jackson doing her thang, and we start to reminisce about our “club days.” We concluded that our 23-year-old selves were either fearless, extraordinarily dumb or a healthy mix of both. 

At 23 we were getting into cars with strangers, at 54 we were worried about safe parking.

At 23 the only thing I had to do before leaving was getting dressed, at 54 I was making lunches and folding laundry.

At 23 I was deciding on which cute panties to wear, at 54 I was deciding between the regular or super-sized Poise pad.

At 23 leaving the house at 9:15 on a weeknight was acceptable, at 54 my son was asking me if I was “going through something.”

At 23 rolling in at 4 a.m., getting a shower and heading straight to the office smelling like vodka actually happened, at 54 it took me 3 days to recover from coming in at 2 a.m., and NO ALCOHOL was involved.

35050245_10216760984636614_2002395649831600128_nThankfully, this section of “under the el” was an up an coming millennial hub of coolness. The venue was, in fact, an “upscale dive bar” as described. Low lighting, sparse seating, but our feet didn’t stick to the floor, so all was good in the hood. The crowd was an excellent mix of ages with the same sense of humor. The comedian, Aunt Mary Pat did not disappoint as we laughed from beginning to end leaving us with sore cheeks and permanent smiles.

YOLO! Keep Laughing and Enjoy the Ride! 


14 responses

  1. You are such a comedienne yourself, it’s no wonder you can laugh till you cry. I love the image of people of the night and you, like Lucy and Ethel on the town.

    54, you’re still such a baby Top. I see many more laughs in the future for you, and Ethel.

    Nice to see an essay by you float onto my screen.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Never a dull moment when we’re together! We at the point in pur relationship where words are not even necessary, we’re down to a look …lol!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s what I call a pal. 🙂


  2. PS Love the picture. You both look so fulla the devil.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Always! Since Freshman year in high school when we were comparing photos of our boyfriends, and we both took out a picture​ of the same boy!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wearing the same outfit with the same hairdo. Bet you ruled the school. 🙂


  3. YOLO!
    Excellent and so funny. So good things can actually happen under the EL ( elevated train!) Keep writing and living!!!!!! Your words bring happiness and realness !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed they can my friend. Indeed​ they can.


  4. You brought back a lot of 23 year old memories and even a few 54 year old memories. Any time you can laugh like that is worth the suffering after.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Then there is the purse. When I was 23 it small and cute and carried lipstick, comb and a dab of makeup. Now there is NO makeup but I have extra underwear, pills for GI issues, headaches, and lactose intolerance.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sadly, this is factual information … hahaha

      Liked by 1 person

  6. So, is your lipstick stashed in the extra undies? I need to know. Space is everything…:)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Poise pads??? How do pads help you keep your poise??

    Liked by 1 person

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