Girlfriend?!

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Over the past year and a half, we’ve been hearing a lot about healthcare workers being heroes. Frankly, I never thought they were anything less. One stint in a hospital is enough to see the light. 

Last November, my mother was in the hospital for an extended stay. Unfortunately for everyone, so was the patient a few doors down. I think I’ll call him Pita (pain in the ass).

As if things weren’t bad enough with COVID on the rise once again, the hospital reaching total capacity, and untrained me taking care of one too many Code Browns, use your imagination folks, to count, we ALL had to deal with Pita. Trust me; I earned a cape. 

On one quiet Saturday afternoon, mom was resting, and I was reading when we were interrupted by a commotion coming from the hallway. Enough to stop the cleaning woman in her tracks right outside our door. 

I looked at the cleaning woman with a WTF glare, and she responded with a WTFK’s. Facial expressions speak volumes.

Now mom was wide awake, wondering what was going on. All we could hear was a loud voice insisting at the top of his lungs to see his girlfriend. I peeked out the door to see a 6’4′ bare assed sock-wearing hands flailing big mouth trying to escape. Superpowers would come in handy. 

Without missing a beat, my mom says GIRLFRIEND?! and we both started laughing. It was like that’s all she heard.

The cleaning woman came into the room laughing and said, “she’s on vacation.” Now, we are howling. Mom chimes in with, “she’s not coming back.” The only thing missing was popcorn.

While we were acting like three school girls laughing at all the things the girlfriend probably did after dropping Pita at the hospital entrance, he was making vulgar remarks to the nurses about their bodies. He was a real charmer. 

As security arrived, I saw one of the nurses filling up a syringe, smiling ear to ear. Pita was going down!

Mom couldn’t get out of bed, so Juanita and I gave her a play-by-play of the injection. They’re going to need a big one,” she said. The giggles continued.

Finally, silence took over, and the nurses went back to their duties as if Pita never existed. Night night.

Juanita stayed a little longer to talk to mom about her age, sense of humor, and unruly men. This was the best medicine mom received.

Remember, heroes cross our paths every day, some with needles, some with mops, but all serving a purpose. It’s important to recognize the good in everyone as we … Enjoy the Ride!

9 responses

  1. You would think a person like that would be extinct already, but alas, they’re still everywhere. There should be a law where one gets a summons or a ticket, like speeding or running a light.

    Nice you have another fond memory of your mom and her legendary sense of humor. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! Seriously, why are they still roaming the earth.
      This memory just popped into my head that morning. I was looking at V’s photo, getting teary eyed with a heavy heart, when I believe V hit me with this memory ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think you should keep a little V book to jot them down.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Gah! They are all over! Maybe not bare assed but just as annoying.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lisa, great post. Conversation and laughter the best medicine. I love it. Now, about that girflriend. Keith

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I have no doubt she got herself a one-way ticket to anywhere he wasn’t going to be.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. That Girlfriend is long gone with nothing but dust in her rear view mirror.
    There are certainly a lot of unsung heroes that got us through this mess. Most we will never know about. I’m glad you were able to share Juanita and her special brand of medicine with us. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Silk! You are so right ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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