Got Thorns?

Photo by Livilla Latini on

We hired a new girl at work. She’s the same age as my daughter and very sweet. This week I was training her on the dynamics of the office. Considering her age, I knew I didn’t have to say too much about the computer system beyond a password. I was right; she’s a wizard.

As we talked and got to know each other, I noticed a common thread in her language. Fear. Not just your common fear of, let’s say, spiders, I’m talking fear of life. What in the world?

I was drained by this negative energy by Tuesday, which was a new reaction for me. Typically, the mother in me takes over, but I stopped noting she has a mother. Who I now know is 11 years younger than me. Next up would be my inner Therapist, who I had to tackle before she started to take on another non-paying patient. Boundaries baby.

On my ride home, I could not shake the thought of our conversations. There was almost a sadness about them, and usually, I’m very understanding. So why the hell was I so annoyed? What is it about myself that I don’t like in this girl? Ding, ding, ding!!!

Then I remembered a chapter from a book I listened to recently, The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer titled Removing Your Inner Thorn.

I highly recommend reading or listening to this book for a broader explanation.

This is a complex subject, so I’ll do my best to explain it in the simplest form, and even that is complicated. I think I listened to this chapter 1,000 before it started to sink in.

Let’s say you have a thorn in your arm, and the pain is excruciating because it’s touching a nerve. Of course, you’re not going to let anyone near it because it will cause too much pain. This makes your life very difficult. The thorn now becomes a constant source of disruption in your life. Protecting and hiding is a job.

To solve the issue, you have two choices: One, you continue to protect the thorn, or two, you take it out. As simple as this sounds, it’s actually the most complicated thing a person can do to heal and grow.

Where am I going with this? Well, let me tell you. I’ve had thorns stuck in me for decades! You could say I was a professional thorn protector, or so I thought. I didn’t realize everything I was missing while my energy was focused on creating airbags to keep my thorns at bay. The thorns ran/run my life.

No matter what solution you choose, the thorn will continue to run your life until you remove all the layers, dig deep down to the root and give a good long hug and a quick yank. Free at last.

Through growth and higher consciousness, I’ve learned that my thorns are nothing more than stored energy from the past that sits in my heart. The good part is I noticed my thorn was being poked, but I didn’t have a reactive response; it shows my growth. It’s about time!

When I look at this girl, I see my twenty-something self looking back at me full of thorns. Talk about being tested; she’s my teacher.

The low self-esteem, lack of self-worth, an unhealthy relationship, people-pleasing, and fears out the wazoo were front and center, staring me in the face. Taunting me. Forcing me to feel my own thorns. Oh, not today, Mother F@$#ers, not today.

I thought if I had to sit three feet from my twenty-something self four days a week, I’m going to need a plan that doesn’t involve drugs or alcohol. This was not in the job description.

I asked myself, “what did I need in my twenties?” “what would have helped that wounded girl?”

I had to really dig for an answer without getting too complicated. The answer, drum roll please, I needed someone to see me, the me I didn’t see. In 2022 terms, someone to give an actual f**k.

Now, I’ll have to be subtle. My challenge will be controlling my inner cheerleader to quietly assist this young, intelligent, beautiful soul on her path. Pom-poms in the face could be scary.

Of course, I know I can not heal her thorns, but I can have compassion and not judge her journey. We’re all human. We all have pain.

Recognize the teachers; they seem to show up in the strangest circumstances.

Enjoy the Ride!

11 responses

  1. The thorn analogy is an eye opener.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It was for me that’s for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. For all the opportunities they have, young people aren’t much different from us at that age. Insecurity runs deep.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So very true. In the end we’re all human.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. There’s an expression in 12 Step…if you spot it, you got it, and you saw it in Technicolor. Yes, teachers among us.

    The great news is, like you said, there was a time you wouldn’t even have noticed,

    An Al-Anon directive called the 3 As…Awareness, Acceptance, Action…you have lassoed the first 2. Maybe you’ll treat us to a sequel when you master number 3.

    Loved this, and all this thorn talk…it’s the Lenten season after all…thorns in his side as we yank out ours. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Everything is connected. I couldn’t believe I noticed, and it was so clear. It was a WOW moment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It also means, that lesson ain’t comin’ round again. Hip Hip Hurrah!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Lisa, good analogy. We are too often our own worst enemy. A friend shared with me an article her therapist gave her geared for people with anxiety, paranoia and low esteem that might apply. It is called “Stinking Thinking.” It encourages folks to recognize when their thoughts are unhealthy and to change the paradigm – go for a walk, clean the house, read a book – do anything but think those thoughts. Keith

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We sure are. I’ve learned that those thoughts are the most damaging. Self judgement is cruel.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I just got so sad when I read this because I saw my 20something self in the young lady you described. Smart, but weighed down by a whole lot of luggage… I would have given anything for a cheerleader who gave a f*ck back then. Maybe you can’t heal her thorns, but you can help set her on a path of eventual healing. She is one fortunate young lady!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Yesterday, i found out that she has a creative streak that is incredible. The look on her face when I was praising her talents said it all, she has no clue.


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