Well, now, this certainly has a different answer than other decades of my life. My response is Whole Foods. Oh, you think Saks 5th Avenue is expensive? Please, designer shoes have nothing on eggs these days. Am I wrong?

My first investment would be a freezer chest to store my stash, then it’s off to the fish, meat, and poultry section like my life depended on it, handing the butchers my list of demands, which would be simple and to the point, “Give me everything you have, hold the feet and anything that still has eyes.“

Next up, produce. I love me some fresh Whole Foods produce. Fruits, veggies, nuts, dried fruit, candy from that excellent bulk section nearby, and some pressed juices. This is equivalent to robbing a jewelry store.

While heading over to grab a large snowstorm survival kit, a/k/a milk bread, and eggs, I’m going to get some coffee, tea, vitamins, and maybe even a pair of those outrageously priced random socks handmade by a group of women somewhere in the world, who now are running a corporation from their hut, as indicated on the packaging. That backstory grabs the heartstrings, but not on my dime.

The middle section is somewhat affordable, so I’ll pass and head over to the frozen section. Come on, I’m not that greedy. More veggies, some prepared frozen lasagne, and of course, ice cream; that’s for the hubby, who is addicted. Maybe I should grab him some funky beers from the spirits section too?

Looks like I’m ready to checkout, just in time to grab some of those fantastic sales that constantly taunt me at the register, some gift cards, and let’s not forget the 14.99 magazines. Oh yes, I damn near fainted. When did that happen? I must really be out of the loop.

I’ll undoubtedly have one of two types of cashiers. The friendly, tattooed twenty-something who is only there for the discount while they pursue their passion after clocking out or the retired sixty-something, also there for the deals, who is still a twenty-something at heart. I think it’s the discount that makes them so happy.

Now that my bags are perfectly packed, I hand the cashier a gift card and hope the new freezer can handle the load.

Enjoy the Ride!