Unspoken No’s

Daily writing prompt
What does freedom mean to you?
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’m starting to get the impression that WordPress is honing in on my innermost thoughts, like Instagram and Facebook. It’s no accident that this question was presented to me today.

Freedom has three different meanings. The first kind of freedom is “freedom from,” freedom from the constraints of society. Second is “freedom to,” freedom to do what we want. Thirdly, there is “freedom to be,” not just to do what we want but to be who we were meant to be.

As I teeter on the edge of entering the third chapter of my life, the “freedom to be” resonates with me the most. Probably because it is truly the only one I can change myself, yet it seems complicated. Why?

Well, I’m learning that when you’ve been conditioned for decades that specific belief systems are etched in stone for the rest of eternity, it takes some time to believe that; well, that’s bullshit. Practice makes perfect, as they say.

For me, it all started with the labels. Oh, yes. Not that they were necessarily wrong labels. Who wouldn’t want to be crowned “the good one” or “the one with the big heart?” They seemed like compliments then, but it has been a heavy load and, frankly, a lot of responsibility. A ton of unspoken no’s on my back.

That seemingly small, good intention has created a woman who has given her power to everyone and everything for so long that she has forgotten she has the freedom to just be. A fraud!

This is not the first time an epiphany has presented itself. I’ve recognized this at other times in my life, in other situations, but this was different. Peeling the layers over time.

Things were quietly being revealed over the last two years. Bit by bit, I recognized the chains that were holding me back from the life I was meant to live. Not realizing I had the keys the whole time.

I know I must be getting very close to healing the core because suddenly, all the pieces of my complicated makeup came together, and I wept and wept. Cleansing the soul.

Someone asked, “Why are you crying?” and I didn’t have an answer. It was as if all the words I was trying to say hit a roadblock in my mouth. I was crying because I recognized the freedom.

Over the past few days, I’ve thought about my tears and those of everyone else who experienced freedom in one way or another. The only way to describe it is an enormous relief, followed by the question … Now what?

Enjoy the Ride!

11 responses

  1. Freedom is a life long struggle. Whenever I have an epiphany about something, I know more is coming. I’ll be dead before I feel completely free.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gee Kate. I hope that’s not the case. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. The learning/healing does seem endless.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad I came back to this. I thought you were referring to today’s.

    I know I must be getting very close to healing the core because suddenly, all the pieces of my complicated makeup came together, and I wept and wept. Cleansing the soul.

    This really got me since, I’ve been crying a river too. I’m not feeling as cleansed as you, but maybe it’s in the wings. We can hope.

    Very moving testimony Lisa.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Each word of your post resonates with me. I personally had hard time to say No when I truly meant it. Always been taught to say yes, try keep trying. Never saying No and maybe when I indirectly tried to put forth they weren’t recognised because No one heard it . But yes, in last few months , unconditioning myself to be more emphatic and speaking loudly has brought some changes. Freedom is indeed in having choice. Be it to say a simple “NO”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! I know exactly what you mean when you say “No one heard it” Keep up the good work on your road to freedom. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Glad you wrote this!

        Liked by 1 person

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