Blessing and a Curse
Most of us have heard the saying, “That’s the best thing since sliced bread!” What do you think is actually the best thing since sliced bread?
There are so many things that have followed the genius of sliced bread that it’s really hard to decide what would be worthy of the title “Best.” Considering sliced bread wasn’t invented until 1928, that takes an awful lot of my favorite inventions like refrigeration, air conditioning and the washing machine out of the running for this grand title. It appears sliced bread was actually late to the invention party.
DRUM ROLL PLEASE……………
The best invention since sliced bread award goes to the invention that has shown the most creativity and initiative in making our lives more complete, yet complex at the same time. The winner of this award created a buzz that can be heard world-wide. It has had the ability to connect, yet disconnect all of us. Its research leads to questions that can now all be answered by the mastermind…Google. This recipient has been known to cause cancers and heal them with their own advances in medicine, allowing us to live longer in front of its many other devices. Our children have been able to cross continents, without ever leaving the confines of their bedrooms. They are able to use their new-found imaginations, without ever actually having a thought of their own. Your talents enabled us to travel to space and beyond in search of life outside of our own, who we can eventually “friend” on Facebook or “follow” on Twitter. This award goes to the one who has single-handedly become a blessing and a curse in our daily lives.
Technology, please come forward and accept your Best Thing Since Sliced Bread award.
Enjoy the Ride!
Call My Agent
Greetings fellow bloggers. What a beautiful day it is here today in the Blogosphere. The sun seems to be shining just a little brighter this morning. Oh wait, sorry folks it’s just the flash of the Paparazzi. You’ll have to excuse me, I’m still trying to get use to my star status. Move it Lohan!
I am here to report that the rumors are all true, I am in fact the recipient of THREE awards. Please take a moment to feel sorry for yourselves. Just look at these adjectives Inspiring, Lovely & Beautiful. They are green to reflect your envy.
The Academy Twindaddy was kind enough to choose little ole me with the Very Inspiring Blogger Award Pause: Insert LOUD applause. Ok, ok, ok, please take your seats. Thank you Twindaddy for acknowledging all of my efforts to inspire you as a writer, a person and most importantly a Storm Trooper. Confession: I have no idea what a Storm Trooper is…zilch, zero, nada.
One of the startling facts I learned about Twindaddy through this whole experience is he has feet at the bottom of his legs. That’s right, he revealed that deep dark secret about himself during his big 7 fact reveal. I still find myself shuddering in awe.
For god sakes I was still back stage giving an interview about my prior win when I heard my name being called yet again. Excuse me Oprah, I must not leave my fans waiting. As I entered the stage I had to adjust my eyes, I couldn’t believe that life on wry was standing there holding 2 awards. She actually let me choose my own award! These are the moments that confirm greatness. So, like the humble winner I am, I grabbed the The Lovely Blog Award and ran like hell. Just incase this was some sort of error. Life on Wry is pro. She writes candidly with humor. She is also a self-proclaimed MASTER of procrastination. This fact could have really screwed up my big night. Thank you LOW for being on your game and letting me choose my award!
Andre was right in the middle of touching up my make-up when I was being summoned to the stage for a 3rd time. The demands of stardom are endless. This time the stage was set in bright pink lighting, with glitter and sparkles. Standing at the podium like a human Barbie was heysugarsugar beaming with excitement as she handed me the Beautiful Blogger Award. She admits to being slightly deranged, but harmless so I approached with caution. Honestly, how deranged can someone be going by the name Sugar? I love her name! She doesn’t know this, but I spent a good part of my youth singing that famous song by the Archie’s. It was my first 45 and I am proud to say I played it to death. Thank you Sugar for this beautiful award and memory!
Since all of these awards require me to reveal 7 or 11 things about myself. I think I’ll just round this out to an even 10. When you win 3, yes 3 awards in a row, you make your own rules.
1. I am an early riser, which has been instilled in me since childhood. If my father was up, we all had to be up. I spent most of my early life being woken up by the bellowing sound of my dad’s voice saying …“What are you going to do sleep your life away?” It was 6 a.m.!
2. In addition to #1 when I wake up, I am in fact awake. Smiling, talking, laughing or whatever else comes my way. This is extremely annoying to non-morning people….trust me.
3. I’m a Pisces. Psst…my birthday is coming up.
4. I once saw a homeless man lying on a vent wearing the same red dress I wore to my sister’s wedding years before. Unlike me, he chose NOT to wear underwear with his ensemble.
5. Making the bed is a priority before leaving the house. It cannot go undone or it will haunt me the entire day.
6. I have the unique ability to immediately notice uncanny resemblances. Just the other day a woman came into the office who looked exactly like Captain Kangaroo. It’s a gift.
7. In my twenties I was held hostage by a squirrel. I opened the dryer and it jumped out. I ran out of the house and sat on the step as it watched me from the laundry room window. It was in full camo, smoking, pointing and at times laughing. This was before cell phones, so I had to WAIT for someone to help me. Closing the door never entered my mind!
8. I saw a sweatshirt hanging on a fence and felt sorry for it…it wasn’t the first time I was emotional over a lonely inanimate object. It was cold and raining, yes I am justifying this insanity.
9. I gasped out loud, smiled like a clown and let out a big YES! when I saw that The Byronic Man “LIKED” one of my posts. I’m so easy to please.
10. I cannot get enough of that Cantankerous Cat meme! Shh, don’t tell anyone, I secretly make up my own captions and laugh out loud.
This is the part where I’m suppose to choose worthy recipients of these awards, but I’ve decided that anyone who took the time to read this post is in fact; Inspiring, Lovely & Beautiful. Therefore, I made the executive decision to allow you all to choose one or all three awards for yourselves. I can’t help it people, I’m a giver.
Now get out there and Enjoy the Ride!
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