Since Peanut a/k/a “P” or “P-Diddy has arrived I have been taking full advantage of his energy. I’m starting to believe that he is an Energizer Bunny/Tasmanian Devil mix a/k/a an Enertaz and not a Maltipoo as we originally thought. Yes, I am jealous.
Since we are both up at the crack of dawn Since we are both nudging Dawn to get her ass up, I’ve decided to take advantage of our time together by walking. For months I’ve been wearing a pedometer to count my steps each day as a motivator, but it wasn’t working and I was becoming very discouraged by my low numbers at the end of the each day. Apparently I should have purchased a Sloth meter if I wanted “results.”
I’m happy to announce that my numbers have tripled in the 3 weeks since P and I have started our routine. My highest number so far has been slightly over 16,000, which is 8 miles in one day. The Sloth has left the building … feel free to hoot and holla.
We head out around 5:30 (yes in the morning) and I must say there is something invigorating about witnessing my neighborhood coming alive in the morning. I feel like I’m intruding. This is especially true on the weekends when even the birds are sleeping in after a long week of chirping. Sadly this early bird is incapable of doing that … even on the weekend.
One thing I know for sure is that all this stillness has certainly opened my eyes and ears a little wider to my surroundings, which just expands my imagination to another level. So far I have made myself laugh out loud and scared myself half to death. Here is a sampling of my week.
1. Every morning I see a young blonde haired woman who is always sporting bright pink from head to toe like the human version of Estee Lauder’s “Simply Pink” lipstick. I have no doubt that her ensemble was pulled right from her little Barbie Dream House closet. I couldn’t help but worry that she may just fade away if she continues to run at this level.
2. I live in a very blue-collar neighborhood, so it’s no surprise at the number of pick-up trucks I see heading out in the wee hours, however I also noticed something else about people who head to work early … they do not seem to stop at stop signs … EVER. Come on people at least throw me a break light and a damn roll! I guess I’ll have to assume that Ford has come up with a windshield that only recognizes the word STOP after 6 a.m.
3. One of my favorite observations to date are the people on the bus stop. There is usually a group of miserable faced teenagers heading to school and an older group of miserable faced people heading to work. No one is talking or acknowledging that anyone else actually exists. I look on hoping that one day they’ll all break out into a badass version of Sweet Child Of Mine.
4. Does anyone out there remember the good ole paper boy from a life time ago? You know, that little freckled-faced kid who rode his bike up and down the streets to deliver your paper … TO YOUR DOOR. Those days are long gone around here. Every single day I watch an overweight guy in a beat-up mini van looking like a pedophile driving down the street, while throwing the papers out of the window. Seriously? Ugh, it drives me so crazy I find myself finishing his job and tossing the papers up to the porch!
5. I could probably write a short novel just on the horrors of decorating choices that I’ve witnessed, but honestly “ain’t nobody got time for dat!” But I couldn’t let you miss out on all the fun, so I selected one of the strangest encounters. NOTE: This house is not near my home … I would have to move.
I tried very hard to justify why there would be Nutcrackers on display in May. Yes, there was more than one, but I was afraid to film the entire army. At first I thought that maybe someone was sick and they didn’t have time to remove them, but then I noticed freshly planted flowers, so that was out. I went from benefit of the doubt to insanity in 2 seconds flat.
Well, if it’s not an illness, it must be he works of a serial killer. Obviously, some freak who had a bad experience with a nutcracker now surrounds himself with fresh blocks of wood as he waits to whittle the faces of his victims onto his growing army of nutcrackers. Oh yea, I actually scared myself on that one! Apparently I have watched one too many episodes of Criminal Minds.
Enjoy the Ride … even if you’re walking!
It’s so funny that this subject should come up today, because I was just thinking about it this morning…when I was being my bright-eyed bushy-tailed self. As most of you know we have a new addition to our family, Peanut the Maltipoo. I bring this to your attention because he was reason for my early bird thought this morning. Peanut and I are the first to get up in the house, which is great since we both seem to leave our beds with the same attitude … wide awake and ready to go.
I don’t require coffee or anything else for that matter to “wake-up.” No alarm clock or wake-up call for this girl. If my eyes are open, I am awake and little Peanut is the same way.
He jumps out of bed with vigor, runs like lightning down the steps, grabs a squeaky toy and is ready to play. Minus the squeaky toy, that’s pretty much my routine as well.
This stems back to my childhood when my father would bellow up the stairs “Hey! Are you going
to sleep your lives aways up there? I’ve been up with the chickens.” Um, number one it was 6 a.m. and number 2 I never saw a chicken around the house.” This was bellowed almost every day of my young life and before I knew it I was up feeding those invisible chickens too!
Thank goodness I married another early bird, which produced 2 more early risers to the flock…actually 3 if you count Peanut, because if I’ve learned anything in this world, it’s that non-early birds really don’t quite get our perkiness. They don’t care to talk or even mumble for that matter until the sun is up and rolling for at least 4 hours. Hint: If you’re going on vacation with other people a pre-screening is highly recommended.
Doing my research for this little piece I’ve come to learn that the early birds really are a minority. I’ve seen hateful t-shirts, coffee mugs (how ironic), bumper stickers and last but not least an endless array of memes filled with death threats from the non-morning crew. There were some stooping as low as using babies and kittens to spread their evil messages.
Another road traveled by the non-morning crew is the mother of all mornings. Yep, you guessed it MONDAY. Whew, you want to talk about a bad wrap, this is it.
Who cares that it’s Monday? Honestly, if Monday weren’t Monday than the baton would be passed onto Tuesday. The party has to get started at some point..whether we like it or not so make the most of it.
I’m an Early Bird, always have been and probably always will be. I guess I will continue to get the worm while those Night Owls get the tequila. If we were all the same the world be so droll.
It doesn’t matter if it’s sun up or sun down as long as you … Enjoy the Ride!