Category Archives: Family

Magical

Is it possible to have a lifetime of happiness jammed into one week? Yes, yes it most certainly is possible. 

It all started on Saturday, February 11th when we went on a double date with vodka and Neil Diamond. Oh, I know I have your attention now.

I’m not a drinker, not even wine, not even socially. Typically if I’m going to go “hardcore” for a night on the town, I’m doing it with sparkling water, and …. hold on to your seats… LEMON.

ed1b7cef57792aeaf400e36de226f7f3With that being said I’m really not sure what possessed me to order a Cosmo, and I have NO CLUE how that escalated to having my own damn shaker at the table (twice), but it happened. Maybe it was all the love in the air…hmm.

We went out to celebrate our anniversary, which just happens to be on Valentine’s Day, which is also the busiest night on the planet to celebrate, which is why we avoid it like the plague. We’ve lived we’ve learned.

This year we were invited by a family member to see the Real Diamond Band, a Neil Diamond cover band at a local venue, along with our two very feisty aunts. When opportunity knocks…answer. 

Let’s hear it for Aunt Jean & Aunt Sophie who at 75 & 78 make Thelma and Louise look like freaking church ladies. True story!

Once the party got started, Aunt Sophie took to the dance floor with her air guitar in tow, whispering “I feel 25!” in my ear as she headed out for her first solo of the night. Aunt Jean was in charge of replenishing the cocktails in between dances.  A task that kept her busy throughout the evening.

All I can say is there is something religious about singing Sweet Caroline at the top of your lungs with a group of strangers. Hallelujah! 

No good story ever started with the word salad, this is fact.

Next up was Valentine’s Day/26th Anniversary. Nothing says I love you more than attending a therapy session with your mate. Flowers & chocolate are temporary, getting to the truth lasts a lifetime.

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Don’t let this face fool you ….

As if that wasn’t enough for one week my son turned 22 on Friday. It’s still hard to believe how quickly time passes. One minute you’re picking up their toys, the next you’re picking up the trail of socks, towels, shorts …… So, in reality, time flies when you’re bending over. 

I’m kidding, not really. 

My Zac is a determined young man making his mark in the world. He is bright, hilarious, and keeps truth in the forefront. Never ask his opinion unless you’re prepared to hear the truth. 

Just when you think there is a break, my birthday hits the floor. That’s right ladies and gentleman I have gained another year. The BEST part of my day was Mother Nature, in all of her glory, provided this February birthday girl with a recording breaking 70-degree day. Can we get a round of applause?

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Autograph Brasserie

I was showered with good wishes, food, jewelry, a new FitBit, a birthday hat at the gym, and a ton of LOVE lasting for days. Who knew turning 53 could be so grand?

Yesterday was the grand finale of the festivities. My husband planned a “surprise” for me, which would be fine if I were one to enjoy surprises outside of hitting the Power Ball, or my husband wasn’t the guy who gave me a turbo hair dryer for Christmas. He still thinks that was a great idea.

Have you ever heard of Floating? Click on the link and learn. I could never put into words how the experience was other than I would swear I saw a unicorn. Magical.

There was something liberating about the floating experience, or maybe that was just the unicorn talking, I won’t know until I try it again. 

Enjoy the Ride …. make it magical! 

The Blessed Project

The Blessed Project  hosted by none other than the QUEEN of Wild Rides Susie Lindau, could not have come at a better time this season.

It’s not that I don’t recognize my blessings, I do, I really do. It’s just that sometimes life sweeps in to rattle me in another direction. No doubt I am part squirrel. 

This is why we need to take advantage of the opportunities when they are presented. So a big round of applause to Susie for providing us with the chance to be still. Even if it’s just for a moment feel the peace.

BLESSINGS:

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90 Years Young

 

Recently I was Blessed to witness my mother’s joy, as she watched her whole family sing in unison the old classic “Happy Birthday” before she cast her 90th wish.

If joy had a face … this my friends would be what it looks like.

 

 

 

 

 

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#oncloudcullen

 

In September I was Blessed to celebrate the wedding of my nephew, and to gain this beautiful woman as my niece. Their wedding was spectacular!

The love for this couple was explosive throughout the entire celebration. 

It’s been unanimous within the family that we all want to go back for a few more hours on Cloud Cullen. 

 

 

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Santa, we have officially replaced the kids. Bring bones.

 

Every damn day I am Blessed to come home to these two snowflakes. 

No matter what went on in the day, these little lumps of love are there to remind me that I am indeed the best thing that ever happened to their world. 

 

 

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Outgrowing the table

 

On Thanksgiving, I was especially Blessed to have everyone I love under one roof. My sisters who are always generous with their time and efforts. My brother-in-laws for being loving and caring men. My nieces with their intelligence, baking talents and beauty. My nephews who are passionate about everything from world affairs to Harambe the gorilla. The significant others that slip right into place with the craziness. My children for being such loving beings and my husband for always helping to make my day a little easier. 

 

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Mangia!

Blessings included were enjoying each others company, eating delicious food and laughing together. Playing Cards Against Humanity until our ab muscles hurt. Finding humor in every conversation on the table and most of all NOT TALKING POLITICS FOR A SECOND. (There were rumors of some quiet texting on this subject, but nothing was proven)

 

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The ladies

 

 

I’m Blessed to have good friends who recognized that a night of Running Through The Lights is exactly what I needed. 

I’m Blessed that they are persistent in their efforts to get me to workout, sweat, laugh, pee and cry. 

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My version of Blogosphere

I’m Blessed to have virtual friends that are loving caring beings in and outside of the blogosphere.

I’m Blessed that they continue to show me love. Send virtual hugs. Make me laugh. Pray for me. Provide free therapy and genuinely care.

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My Family Squad

I am truly BLESSED for this photo that speaks for itself.

Enjoy the Ride! 

Don’t forget to pack your blessings!

An Offer You Can’t Refuse

event_photo-57a5033a5b6d5This Sunday, September 18th, I have the pleasure of walking on behalf of LuLu’s Rescue. This wonderful organization was brought to my attention by my dear friend Marge. We’ve known each other since grade school. A/K/A a very long time.

Marge rescued the most beautiful girl named Izzy from this organization. She loves to dig holes, sit in the sun, cuddle and provide endless hours of love. What more can you ask for? Marge might say fewer holes. 

I’m not sure how Marge does it, but she regularly volunteers her time and effort to this cause. I’ve seen photos of her in a pile of puppies! Yes, you read that right. Somehow she has the restraint to not fill her purse and make a run for it with those fur balls. I do not have that power. 

The part I’m playing in all of this is very small. I just have to B E G family and friends to support me in raising some cold hard cash. With every $250.00 raised a lump of love will be rescued from a kill shelter. Insert a gentle tug on your heartstrings. 

They will then be placed into loving foster arms where they will await a forever home. But all of this cost money. Your donation will provide transport, vetting, spay/neuter, microchip, heart worm and flea/ tick meds along with food to all of these lucky dogs. Literally lucky dogs. 

Look, I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse. Yes, I’m channeling my inner godfather.

All you have to do it click on this LINK:  Lisa’s Donation Page 

Follow the directions about entering your digits and you’re done. Easiest thing you will do all day!

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Compliments of Lovelorn Pup

In return animals all across the land will wag their tails in unison to THANK YOU for saving one of their own.  Animals are such grateful creatures. 

 

Enjoy the Ride … with a wag riding shotgun!

When Harry, Norman & Robert Met Lisa

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Three wise men walked into a Podiatrist office. No, this is not the beginning of a joke about aging feet, it’s the story of one of the best days I’ve had at work in a long time.

Let me introduce you to Harry, Norman & Robert. Three interesting, intelligent and inspiring men who walked into the office, dropped some wisdom and went about their day.

Harry -83 years young:  Harry is a recent surgery patient with a wonderful sense of humor.

When he came in for his first post-op appointment he said, and I quote: “I want to thank Lisa for answering all of my questions, she is a fountain of knowledge.” I asked him to call my children to inform them of that fact, he thought I was kidding … I was not.

Believe it or not, the accurate conclusion that Harry made about me was not what captured my heart. But, it certainly didn’t hurt.

Harry told me that he volunteers in a first-grade classroom, and has been doing it for years. He was so happy that the teacher had the class send him Get Well wishes after his surgery, but there was a catch, they had to include a joke. Laughter is the best medicine.

This gesture filled Harry’s heart. He told me that he enjoys volunteering in the First Grade classroom because it gives him the joy to see these children enter the door not certain what to expect and leave with confidence.

He went on to explain that he has a special bond with this teacher. Harry lost his son years ago in November, just when this teacher was getting married. One young life ending as one began.

Shortly after the teacher was married she found out she was expecting and 3 months into the pregnancy her new husband died suddenly. Grief, let me introduce you to grief.

Their losses brought them together and they are wonderful friends who helped each other heal. He’s been volunteering ever since.

83 years old, still thinking, still living and still making a mark in this world.

Norman-86 years young: He came to us a few months ago via his family doctor, which is never good, and let’s just say that “the little piggy that went to the market” never came back.

When he called the other day he was very nervous that “the little piggy that stayed home” was on its way out too so we made room on the schedule. Podiatry office humor.

Norman came in as if he was the guest of honor at a celebration, not someone with a potential gangrenous toe.

He was wearing a Villanova cap to “make the doctor happy” since his daughter is a student and it was the day of the championship game. Well played Norman, well-played indeed.

Norman was excited to reveal he had recently written a paper on aging. When I took him to the exam room I had to inquire about the paper. I was very curious.

I was thinking he wrote it for the AARP magazine. Nope, he said, “I wrote it for my family, I want them to know how quickly it comes up on you.” A warning of sorts.

The title of the paper is “Getting Old Is Not For Sissies.” Norman told me he stole that line from Bette Davis, an actress I wouldn’t know because, and I quote “you’re too young to remember her.” He had me at “too young.”

Norman still can’t believe he is 86. He doesn’t recognize the person in the mirror. Still has a lot to share with this world. Has an incredible sense of humor, and wants nothing more than for his family to be happy.

Norman is going to drop off a copy of the paper for me to read. No worries, I will share.

Robert-91 years young: Robert came in for a routine appointment. As soon as he came to the window he showed my co-worker a photo of him and his wife from 1941. They looked like movie stars.

Robert is a tall man, but frail. No doubt more so since he lost the love of his life. He told my co-worker a story that left them both with watery eyes.

Later I asked her about it and of course I too was left with watery eyes. We’re so sappy sometimes.

Robert explained that he and his wife were sitting at the kitchen table and she asked: “How long have we been married?” Robert responded with “65 years dear.” Her response was “I have not regretted one day in 65 years.” Robert explained that even though she is gone, he is still stunned by her words. He is a walking, talking broken heart.

I was also taken back by my co-workers response to Robert which was “It was nice to be able to hear that Robert.”  Indeed, it was.

I must say, it was a pleasure to pick-up these three men while I … Enjoy the Ride!

 

Jack Frost, This Is Not A Threesome

What a week!

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A Toast To Us!

We celebrated our 25th Anniversary a/k/a the Silver Anniversary on Valentine’s Day. Getting married on the one day when everyone comes together to celebrate love seemed like a good idea at the time. Not so much every year since when we try to get a dinner reservation.

Our son turned 21 on Wednesday and I turned my legal age on Friday. My mental age varies from 17 to 35. 

My husband surprised me with a weekend in NYC, knowing there is a strong possibility that I might adore this town more than him. He was a NYC virgin, so he wanted to check out his competition.

As you have probably heard by now, last weekend was the coldest on record. On RECORD!

These two lovebirds grabbed a big suitcase, loaded it as if we we heading to the Antarctic and hit the road. Nothing says sexy like a pair of long johns, said no one ever.

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The Man I love in the City I Love

We arrived Friday afternoon when the weather was tolerable. After a nice meal at Sardi’s, followed by cocktails and dessert, we headed out to explore all the tourist spots. I do believe my boots earned travel miles.

It was spectacular! Watching my husband love it as much as me was priceless.

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Chelsea Market

The next day we bundled up for a walk to The Chelsea Market. Walking allowed us to take in some of the world-class architecture that makes this section so special. I could see the hubby’s wheels turning with every piece of wrought iron.

We spent hours in the Market experiencing everything edible. Breakfast at Sarabeth’s, Halva at Seed & Mill, and a little something sweet for later from Li-Lac Chocolates. There are no calories when you’re celebrating love.

When we stepped outside Jack Frost was there nipping at everything nipable. TAXI! 

Greg wanted to go to Ground Zero, I could have passed on this stop, but I strapped my loved goggles on a little tighter and made the best of it. It was just a little too somber for me.                         

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Lady Liberty Freezing Her Torch Off

This part of town sits right on the Hudson River, which is not exactly a warm spot. There are no words to describe the wind and cold. Wait .. I can think of two, and they both start with F! 

In order to thaw, we blew across the street to Brookfield Place, where I was greeted by a dog wearing beautiful leather boots and a Burberry coat. All I’m going to say about this place is, if it weren’t for my soul, I would really enjoy living like the 1%. 

Still shivering, we sat down in PJ Clarke’s to enjoy a bowl of soup, sip a cocktail or two, and admire Lady Liberty in the harbor. My poor girl out there in a dress with no coat!

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Our Attempt At A Selfie

We ended this weekend sipping champagne, singing along with The Jersey Boys, eating cupcakes in bed and enjoying each other’s company. My cupcake never tasted so good.

The celebrations continue today with a birthday dinner for Zachary and mwah. We are looking forward to breaking with our offspring and their significant others. I’m sure they’re looking forward to us picking up the check!  

Cheers to the last 7 days! The brightest spot of winter so far!

Enjoy the Ride!

 

 

 

You’re Clear For Take Off

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Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me…

Ah the day after Christmas. The day we all take a moment to sit back to ponder on what the hell went down over the last couple days. Wait … what?

We think about conversations we had with family and friends, that suddenly don’t seem as merry & bright without our Christmas goggles. What the hell was she/he trying to say?

As we put our jeans on today we’ll wonder just how many cookies were taste tested over the past few days. Suddenly our math skills are super sharp as the consumption count hits a record high. Wait! How many times did I say  … “just one more.” YIKES!

We will sort through our gifts, now that we are down from our Christmas high and wonder what exactly the giver might have been thinking at the time of purchase. Um …. yea …. I guess that makes sense … sort of. 

Let’s stay on this point for a moment while I share with you all the gift I received from my loving husband. Do I have your attention? 

Nightstand Necessities

Nightstand Necessities

You’re probably imagining me on silk sheets surrounded by chocolates, diamonds and champagne right about now, just basking in the luxuries I deserve for being such an amazing wife and mother that you know I am. Dream on.

As a matter of fact I could give you 10 clues and NO ONE, I mean NO ONE would be able to guess what was waiting for me inside that big box under the tree. Including myself!

No ladies it’s nothing sparkly or silky. Not a single animal was sacrificed for this beauty. It’s definitely bigger than a bread box. The color is a beautiful shade of teal. It has duel engines simmer down gentleman, but no tires. Proceed to scratch your scalp. It can go from 700 watts to 3600 watts with the flick of a switch. It’s something that can be used every day. Hmmm It weighs approximately 25 plus pounds and wouldn’t travel very well. Any one?

0f6d50ca34ee0700371d7fabec43055eWhen I opened the box lord only knows WTF my face said, because the first words I read were PetClubLLC. Then the lightbulb went off in my head and I was suddenly elated to THINK that it was some sort of mini dog washer/dryer that would make grooming Peanut & Landon much easier. Could someone hit the switch on that lightbulb please … thanks.

I could barely contain my excitement when I squealed “Wow! This will save a ton of money on grooming!”

Let’s just say that excitement was very short lived. When from across the room came the words “No, it’s a blow dryer for YOU, you’re always complaining that your blow dryer isn’t strong enough.” 

Me:  A blow dryer? This says it has duel engines and there is a wind capacity listed on the box!

Loving Husband:  Well, it will dry your hair fast.

Me: It might blow the hair right off my head! At this point I was laughing so hard I couldn’t even contain myself.

Loving Husband: Yea but you’re always complaining how long it takes for your hair to dry. Again with this justification … lol!

Me: This is for animals …. I’m trying to imagine packing this for vacation …. Are we going to need a bigger bathroom?

Everyone:  Laughing hysterically!

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Presenting: My Duel Engined Beauty. It also has attachments just in case you were wondering …

Did I mention I was married to Tim the Tool Man?

My son carried my new badass blow dryer to the bathroom, where later that morning I put it to the test. I fired up both engines, put the heat on high and suddenly felt like I was standing on a launchpad waiting for take off. You’re clear for take off!

I took out my styling brush, which was blown right out of my hand with some of my skin. Again the laughter ensued! I began styling, but really couldn’t see what I was doing. The wind was so powerful I had to squint during the process. Suddenly having compassion for leaves. 

My hair was certainly dry … styled? I”m not sure, unless of course you’re going for that just stepped out of a wind tunnel look. 

The jury is still out on wether or not my gift will be staying or if it will be heading back to the industrial tool warehouse. I’ll give it another chance today at a lower speed to save some scalp & skin.

Enjoy the Ride!

Sleigh Ride

Twas the morning of Christmas and all through the house NOTHING was stirring other than me in this house.

Stockings were placed on the chair with great care, because Mrs. Clause LOADED them to the point of despair.

The children, including those with fur and gray hair, were nestled all snug in their beds, while I IMPATIENTLY waited downstairs seeing red.

1476011_10203929533463403_2855339703732128880_nFinally I heard what I thought was a clatter, I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter. Into the living room I ran in flash, I sprinted the stairs grabbed Landon and dashed.

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The sun, who’s been missing for weeks here in Philly, came through the window making this seem more than just silly. I grabbed a broom from the closet to poke on the ceiling, making some noise might get this sleeping family squealing! When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, an updated Facebook status from my son with a jeer!

More rapid than a teenager I typed with such fury “Get down these steps now without giving me a story!”

Now Gregory! Now Emily! Now Zachary! Now P! I’ve been up for ages waiting doing laundry and such, it’s Christmas for god sakes and that work is too much!

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Finally they woke filled with nothing but glee, bustled down the steps to open presents with Landon and me!

This Christmas I was surrounded with family, love and some joy, which gave each passing minute just more to enjoy.

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G-Mom with the G-Kids

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G-Mom with the G-Dogs

Peanut and Landon were bombarded with new bones, balls and toys, running around all day like two happy boys!

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Peanut enjoying his loot

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Landon exhausted from the festivities

Now that the family has gone and the festivities have ended, I’m off to my bed, which will feel more than just splendid!

Hope you spent this holiday surrounded by everything bright, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Save The Dust Bunnies

The Daily Post has a great subject line No Time To Waste.

Fill in the blank: “Life is too short to _____.” Now, write a post telling us how you’ve come to that conclusion.

1391135132_resizedOver the years I’ve heard this wonderful “Life is too short” line many times. But it’s not every day that a seasoned life liver crosses your path and hits you up with valuable words to live by. This happened back in my crazed mother of young children trying to “do it all” days. Ugh …. I think I just got a chill.

I was at the playground with my little angels when a grandmotherly type woman approached me. Apparently she recognized that I was dressed in stress from head to toe when she started a very important conversation. She obviously recognized this look.

This lovely woman began asking me about my children and motherhood in general. After listening to my ramblings about the pressures of having an endless messy house, she calmly stated: Life is too short to worry about dust bunnies, you’ll have plenty of time to clean when your kids are grown.”  Who was this woman of wisdom dressed in grandmother clothing? Gandhi? …. Yoda? 

I often think about her wise words and pass them along to other young mothers on the brink of exploding from trying to DO IT ALL. She was so right!

Now that my kids are at an age were my needs no longer include pushing strollers, holding hands or driving from A to B and back again, I do have plenty of time to worry about those dust bunnies.  But guess what?  Now I’m at an age where a heard of full-grown dust kangaroos could hop over me and I wouldn’t care. Talk about a silver lining! 

How would you fill in the blank: “Life is too short to _____.”

Save the Dust Bunnies and Enjoy the Ride!

 

 

 

Mom Mom? Mom!

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In honor of Mother’s Day this weekend I am once again sharing a post that I wrote in honor of my own mother Venita Momma You Were Born This Way.

I am blessed to be celebrating her once again this year, considering she was 37 when she brought me into this world, I never imagined that at 50 I would still have this privilege. Feel free to insert a big ole Awwww.

Mom is now 87 and I am so grateful that every Friday we spend our day going from one place to another. It’s usually food shopping, banking or a doctor’s appointment here or there. Nothing out of the ordinary, but we have the opportunity to be together and that is certainly extraordinary. A priceless gift indeed!

A few years back when my mom gave up driving, on her own unlike my father who didn’t give up without a fight, my sisters and I came up with a schedule to get mom out from behind her four dull walls. I for one can honestly say it was the best thing that could have happened. This gives us all the opportunity to spend quality time with our mother, which we may not have gotten if she was still whizzing around town on her own. A blessing in disguise!

These weekly outings have certainly provided me with a chance to sit back and ponder on 4314172db9187c2ca55aaaefea54296bmy own challenges in raising my children who are now 21 & 19. I  have to look at my mom and ask “how the hell did you survive these years … TWICE?  See, I have older siblings and my brother turned 19 just a few days after I was born! Yea…let that sink in for a minute…

Just as she was about to receive her “I survived raising my teenagers” t-shirt she had to change the shitty diapers of my sister and I since we are only 15 months apart! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Oh, as if this wasn’t enough to warrant a statue being erected in her honor, factor in that she went to work full-time when I was about 7 and was still required by Archie Bunker/my dad to fulfill her “wifely duties” of cooking, cleaning and waiting on him hand and foot. Oh … dear … lord how did she have the restraint not to murder?

I never thought I would actually say “changing diapers and breast-feeding are looking pretty good right now”, but I find myself saying it DAILY and one day I said it to my mom. Her laughter was genuine, but I must admit it was a little unnerving. Then I realized the truth usually is right? You know when there is nothing left but to laugh you don’t have a chance.

c6d04e91982dc4f13f1ca85a73e8c416Over the years I certainly had my chance to take my mother’s advice, but did I? Well, sometimes I did, but in reality I thought I “knew it all” just like my kids do. Paybacks really are a bitch! 

  • When my mom said “believe me you don’t want him to walk too early” I thought she was crazy until my son started building his own scaffolding to unlock the front door and the gray hairs began.
  • When my mom said “let her take her time driving, she doesn’t need her license yet.” Well, I was tired of waiting up to go fetch her from wherever she was, so she got her license. Yea, waiting up until she gets home safely is so much more relaxing…not!

    Here are my two creations. They buckle their own seat belts and wipe their own asses, which is all I ever really wanted.

    Here are my two creations. They buckle their own seat belts and wipe their own asses, which is all I ever really wanted.

The list could go on, but frankly it’s becoming a little embarrassing at this point. Look, motherhood does not come with a manual for a reason … it’s too fucking scary! No one is going to see that movie after reading the book .. capisce? 

So, take time to listen to the wisdom of the survivors other women in your life … your mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, cousins or honestly anyone with a vagina.

All women are mothers of the world. All of us give birth to something bigger than ourselves. All women are badass and need to be celebrated, so get out there and as always … Enjoy the Ride!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Jack

aaefb5386f21c9ca82755f703a67331fOk people this is going to be brief considering I’m still a little traumatized by the events, but I thought it would be good idea to share my tale for healing purposes of course. Or just so you could all have a good ole fashioned laugh at my expense. 

December 20th started out like any other day. I was up early to get a jump on things before battling retail facilities with my daughter for Christmas loot. All was calm, all was bright.

Since it was exceptionally warm and sunny that morning I decided to
take my little Pee Wee out for a long walk before we left. This way he would be too tired to miss us…at least that’s what I tell myself. So off we go out into the neighborhood. I thought it would be a good idea to head towards the playground and ball fields in my area, since it is loaded with good sniffing spots for Pee Wee. I never saw this coming … literally!

8808ceb7923efc653d849e947fd97ce2There I was, minding my own damn business, when out of NO WHERE came 2 giant black poodles heading right for us at full speed. I scoop my little Pee Wee up and hold him over my head like Simba in the Lion King! Thank God I’ve been working out is all I can say!

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Hideous!

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the human in charge of these 2 oversized fur balls made her way across the street. She was walking at a snails pace for god sakes!

As she began apologizing, “Jack” the overzealous/horny fur fuck had taken a liking to yours truly and mounted his big furry ass to my back. His paws were at my shoulders and I am at least 5′ 8″ tall…seriously!

Needless to say the poor woman was trying very hard to get Jack to stop humping me, but clearly he was enjoying himself way too much to let loose. By the way I was still holding Pee Wee in the air during this entire one-sided love fest.

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Middle-aged women need to be included in this list.

As the owner was trying to get a collar onto the other one, Jack continued to enjoy himself.  I was turning in all directions trying to shake him loose, but this young lad had paws of steel and he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Awkward? Oh…dear…lord…that was an understatement. 

This all conveniently took place at a STOP sign, so you better believe there were quite a few pointing fingers and fits of laughing going on at every stop. Where are the all the superheros when you need one?

The woman FINALLY got one dog under control and then she proceeded to peel Jack off of my back and thanked me for being “gracious”. Um, graciously assaulted was more like it. The first thing out of my mouth was “Well, I’m wearing a black coat, maybe Jack thought I was his girl from the hood.” I really couldn’t think of anything else to say. She just stared….

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Typical!

When it was all over I half expected to see Jack lying on the sidewalk smoking a cigarette! I walked away laughing as I heard the woman continue to apologize. Please ! The least she could have done was give me Jack’s number. 

Sooooo….what does one do when crazy shit happens? They send a text to their family and friends who they know will also get a good laugh out of it. Which is exactly what happened.

These are the responses from my dear sisters Madelynne and Gina, notice the sympathetic tones (insert sarcasm please).  I knew their responses would make me laugh even harder, because this is how we roll! Read and enjoy folks

Sister number one responds with a question regarding the location of the assault. Oh, not to rush over, but to either avoid that area in the future or laugh harder if other people witnessed this encounter. It was a win win for Madelynne.

IMG_1721Next, we both discussed our feelings for Poodles. That’s right Poodle lovers everywhere, sorry but we are not fans and I for one will never be a fan. Jack got what he wanted and has yet to call.

IMG_1726Next up is sister number two a/k/a Gina. I knew her response would be good since she is really not what one would call an “animal person” like myself. This was a golden opportunity for her to justify why she is not a pet owner. 

IMG_1722This conversation escalated to borderline insanity! I literally had to sit on a step to prevent myself from peeing my pants….literally!

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The lesson here ladies and gentleman is: When life decides to throw you a curve or a giant poodle named Jack, find the humor and Enjoy the Ride! 

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