Panties To Poise Pads
The other night, a weeknight I might add, your friend here made plans with her bestie to see a local comedian that makes us both laugh at the level of tears. I wish he would have brought better eyesight instead!
My bestie got the tickets without reading that the show STARTS at 10:45 p.m. I’m usually way into REM sleep at this time since I’ve been AWAKE since 4:45 a.m.
Then this Mrs. Magoo failed to notice the address of the venue. We assumed it was in Center City. NOPE! It was at an “upscale dive bar” under the El. (short for elevated train). Hookers, junkies and two middle-aged women out past their bedtimes. Suddenly I’m singing “two of these things is not like the others.”
After endless text messages back and forth trying to decide if going was worth our lives, we finalized the deal with “if we can’t get safe parking we’ll just come home.” Bam!
I head out of my house at 9:15 p.m. on a weeknight, put some 80’s Janet Jackson on the playlist, and channel my inner 23-year-old self to pick up my bestie. The difference between actually being 23 and the reality of being middle aged is I was doing wash before leaving the house.
As soon as my bestie gets in the car, she is happy to hear Janet Jackson doing her thang, and we start to reminisce about our “club days.” We concluded that our 23-year-old selves were either fearless, extraordinarily dumb or a healthy mix of both.
At 23 we were getting into cars with strangers, at 54 we were worried about safe parking.
At 23 the only thing I had to do before leaving was getting dressed, at 54 I was making lunches and folding laundry.
At 23 I was deciding on which cute panties to wear, at 54 I was deciding between the regular or super-sized Poise pad.
At 23 leaving the house at 9:15 on a weeknight was acceptable, at 54 my son was asking me if I was “going through something.”
At 23 rolling in at 4 a.m., getting a shower and heading straight to the office smelling like vodka actually happened, at 54 it took me 3 days to recover from coming in at 2 a.m., and NO ALCOHOL was involved.
Thankfully, this section of “under the el” was an up an coming millennial hub of coolness. The venue was, in fact, an “upscale dive bar” as described. Low lighting, sparse seating, but our feet didn’t stick to the floor, so all was good in the hood. The crowd was an excellent mix of ages with the same sense of humor. The comedian, Aunt Mary Pat did not disappoint as we laughed from beginning to end leaving us with sore cheeks and permanent smiles.
YOLO! Keep Laughing and Enjoy the Ride!
Jack Frost, This Is Not A Threesome
What a week!
We celebrated our 25th Anniversary a/k/a the Silver Anniversary on Valentine’s Day. Getting married on the one day when everyone comes together to celebrate love seemed like a good idea at the time. Not so much every year since when we try to get a dinner reservation.
Our son turned 21 on Wednesday and I turned my legal age on Friday. My mental age varies from 17 to 35.
My husband surprised me with a weekend in NYC, knowing there is a strong possibility that I might adore this town more than him. He was a NYC virgin, so he wanted to check out his competition.
As you have probably heard by now, last weekend was the coldest on record. On RECORD!
These two lovebirds grabbed a big suitcase, loaded it as if we we heading to the Antarctic and hit the road. Nothing says sexy like a pair of long johns, said no one ever.
We arrived Friday afternoon when the weather was tolerable. After a nice meal at Sardi’s, followed by cocktails and dessert, we headed out to explore all the tourist spots. I do believe my boots earned travel miles.
It was spectacular! Watching my husband love it as much as me was priceless.
The next day we bundled up for a walk to The Chelsea Market. Walking allowed us to take in some of the world-class architecture that makes this section so special. I could see the hubby’s wheels turning with every piece of wrought iron.
We spent hours in the Market experiencing everything edible. Breakfast at Sarabeth’s, Halva at Seed & Mill, and a little something sweet for later from Li-Lac Chocolates. There are no calories when you’re celebrating love.
When we stepped outside Jack Frost was there nipping at everything nipable. TAXI!
Greg wanted to go to Ground Zero, I could have passed on this stop, but I strapped my loved goggles on a little tighter and made the best of it. It was just a little too somber for me.
This part of town sits right on the Hudson River, which is not exactly a warm spot. There are no words to describe the wind and cold. Wait .. I can think of two, and they both start with F!
In order to thaw, we blew across the street to Brookfield Place, where I was greeted by a dog wearing beautiful leather boots and a Burberry coat. All I’m going to say about this place is, if it weren’t for my soul, I would really enjoy living like the 1%.
Still shivering, we sat down in PJ Clarke’s to enjoy a bowl of soup, sip a cocktail or two, and admire Lady Liberty in the harbor. My poor girl out there in a dress with no coat!
We ended this weekend sipping champagne, singing along with The Jersey Boys, eating cupcakes in bed and enjoying each other’s company. My cupcake never tasted so good.
The celebrations continue today with a birthday dinner for Zachary and mwah. We are looking forward to breaking with our offspring and their significant others. I’m sure they’re looking forward to us picking up the check!
Cheers to the last 7 days! The brightest spot of winter so far!
Enjoy the Ride!
No Means No!
Why must there A L W A Y S be a price, even when something is F R E E?
Here’s my story sad but true…..
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Lee Wee with a birth certificate that claimed she was middle aged, but her spirit read young, ready and willing.
One day, in early December, her bestie scored some tickets to the Live With Kelly & Michael show in New York City, her most favorite cities of all.
The tickets were FREE or so they thought ….
Oh, how she longed to see her favorite city decorated in all its glory for Christmas. She was bursting with excitement just at the thought of this marvelous adventure!
As her bestie had dreams of meeting Kelly, Lee Wee had her focus on standing next to Michael and feeling short for 5 seconds!
So, in the wee hours of the morning, Lee Wee and her bestie ventured to the Big Apple in order to get to the studio by 7:00 a.m.
This was the first sign that FREE tickets aren’t really FREE.
They stood out on the dark cold street waiting patiently for the doors to open when suddenly rumors began to surface.
Rumors that one of the quests on the show was going to be none other than ….. Donald Trump.
Lee Wee screamed in horror and refused to believe it to be true!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO she screamed when her new friends Ed & Sandy from Georgia confirmed it with a Google search.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO she screamed when she saw the words “Secret Service” on the jacket of the officer in the building.
“No No No No No!” She said as she stated “I will NOT be clapping for that ass!” “I did not get up at 2:47 to see HIM … NO!”
Laughter at her clear frustration ensued around her as she wondered if her afternoon would be spent in the custody of the FBI.
Sandy asked with laughter, and a southern drawl, “Well, who would you want to see today?” Lee Wee responded with a solid “Anyone else on this planet would be great!” A N Y O N E
Lee Wee was in such deep denial at this point that she continued asking anyone with a pulse if it were true, even though all the evidence was crystal clear and her belongings were just searched by a Secret Service Agent.
First she asked the bathroom attendant who rolled her immigrant eyes, sighed and said … ‘yes.”
Next she asked the gentlemen at the desk who responded with a solid … “he sure is.”
Last but not least she asked the young man at the t-shirt kiosk who sadly stated, “yes! and it’s been the worst day of my existence as an employee.”
Lee Wee returned to her place in line defeated. She was about to enter a private hell.
There she was stuck in a LIVE studio, unable to rid her corneas and ear drums of the poison that was about to be forced upon her for the next HOUR.
Lee Wee sat in horror as she spotted DT right in front of her as he waited in the wings to hit the stage. She knew seeing that “hair” in person wasn’t going to be easy, but what she didn’t expect was for him to SPIT on the floor before walking out.
So it’s true kids, money can’t but class!
While everyone stood up, as they were told to do, she remained seated with folded arms in protest of his presence.
After what seemed like an eternity listening to this ass trying to convince himself that he was a “good person” Lee Wee was ready to move on.
The audience was filled with a majority of like-minded people and Lee Wee found it joyfully painful watching the producer waving his hands like a drowning fish to get the audience to applaud, as she silently chanted “no means no!”
FINALLY! The Donald left the building. Lee Wee began to smile, and the world was good again.
Lee Wee and her bestie spent the rest of the day soaking up everything this grand city had to offer in true best friend fashion while they … Enjoyed The Ride!
Let’s Rock These Games
Well ladies and gentleman the day has finally arrived…the 2012 Summer Olympics open this evening with a grand ceremony, no doubt it will be fit for a Queen. The best that London has to offer will be showcased in this ceremony that is sure to dazzle the world
While the eyes of the world patiently wait for the Olympic Flame to enter, light the Cauldron and start the Games. I want you to take a moment to really get this party started by directing your ears this way.
My nephew Ty Asoudegan, the lead guitarists for MACH22, had the badass opportunity to record the Olympic Anthem a/k/a Burgler’s Dream down in Nashville as a tribute to Team USA.
IT’S TIME TO ROCK THESE GAMES!
Whoa…..flying your Freak Flag is exhausting! This weekend started off fairly normal on Friday with food shopping, a dentist appointment, visiting mom and a trip to the Mall with my daughter. On Saturday I had plans to go see my nephew’s band play at the TLA (Theater of The Living Arts) here in Philadelphia. MACH22 wasn’t hitting the stage until 10:00 pm, so I had to rest up before the big event by chillaxing at the homestead. I wrapped it up Sunday with the hubby, breakfast and a looooong ride with the top down.
On Saturday I finally finished a book I received for my birthday in February…so pathetic that it’s taken this long. It was the autobiography of Steven Tyler …”Does The Noise In My Head Bother You” a Rock ‘N’ Roll Memoir. Now, I was never a hardcore Aerosmith fan or anything, but I did master drawing their logo all over my copy books in high school.
Recently I became interested in Steven Tyler after watching an interview he did with Oprah. I was immediately captivated by his honesty, which also resonates throughout this book. If you’re admitting to smoking a comb, yes a comb as in the one you use for your hair, it’s safe to say you’re an open book. The admission was a very nonchalant “I’ve smoked combs for chrissakes.” Which left me with one question … “How the HELL are you still alive?”
I learned that Steven is not just a Rock Star, he is musically gifted. His father, who studied at Julliard, taught him the importance of listening to the notes. Music runs through his veins and fills his soul…that is passion friends. I think he wears his passion well…looking pretty dam good still ROCKIN out at 64. Dream On indeed!
Next on the Freak Flag agenda…MACH22. My daughter and I headed to the city for the show. Whew and what a show it was! I was standing at the foot of the stage in amazement as I watched Ty bring his Les Paul to life. There was a moment when I was emotional…I just couldn’t believe that the sound coming from that instrument was caused by the hands of my nephew. That guitar was singing a song one chord at a time…dam!
They rocked the faces off of the audience, who were begging LOUDLY for an encore! I really wouldn’t want to be the next band up…that’s for sure.
It was the first time they had merchandise at the show sporting their logo. I was working the room offering FREE boxes of matches to the audience.
Young people are not very receptive to FREE merchandise, they actually seemed scared. It’s not like I was spraying them with perfume for god sakes! However, the doobie smokers were more than happy to receive a free light.
I concluded that the $4.00 bottle of water, ringing ears and newly acquired deafness were well worth the magic I witnessed!
Sunday, the day of rest…NOT, was spent with the top down. The hubby wanted breakfast, but we were slow to move and settled for Brunch at the Washington Crossing Inn.
The Inn is very beautiful and historic. I could have done without seeing the enormous flat screen TV amongst the historic decor, but that’s just me. We were able to dine outside, which was a treat on such a beautiful day. The food was delicious, or as the hubby said “over priced” and the conversations surrounding us delightful.
I am wired for sound and can hear a conversation across the room. This can be very entertaining, especially when a father announces to a table of his peers that he will be saving $17,000 this year because his son is going to commute. He was scared living in a co-ed dorm with half-naked girls walking the halls. Let’s just say that justification probably sounded so much better in his head.
Next stop was through New Hope and then Doylestown where they just happened to be shooting a movie called The North Star. Needless to say we didn’t bring our head shots, so we had no chance of being an extra and were forced to continue along the open road. So long Hollywood….you had your chance.
By this point the sun was blazing, my Freak Flag was practically pleading to be shoved into the closet and I was ready to R E L A X.
All good things must come to an end folks, but some weekends require an ENCORE … Enjoy the Ride!
Today I’m giving a shout out to my nephew Tyler. Holla! He prefers to go by Ty, now that he is heading into the direction of Rock Star status. Once he incorporated leather and skulls into his wardrobe, even I had to surrender to using Ty.
Ty studied music at the Berklee School of Music, which gives you an idea about the level of love he has for music. He lives, breathes and incorporates it into every part of his life. Music is his passion and when passion is played on a Les Paul … it’s magical.
Currently he is part of the band MACH22, which is made up of the following musical geniuses:
Ty Asoudegan-Lead Guitar
Sebastian LaBar-Rythm Guitar/Vocals
MACH22 was started by Lamont Caldwell. I can’t describe how far his talents reach, lets just leave it at a Cosmic Level shall we.
He is a multi-talented musician that was in search of an outlet to let his creative genius loose, and that he did when he joined forces with these other top-notch musicians to form MACH22.
Right from the start they stood-out amongst their peers in the vibrant Philly music scene, along with catching the eye of some professionals in the music biz. It’s no doubt this recognition has been accomplished. Their collective musical passion is heard in every note, it resonates with their audience and leaves them wanting more.
The LIVE performances of this Philadelphia based band have a powerful sound. They have been coined as “Zeppelin meets Kravitz” playing REAL rock and roll music! Remember what that is folks? The sound that makes you want to crank up the volume and the let the song hit you in the face. Oh, yea!
Upcoming LIVE Events:
June 8, 2012 at MOODSWING Nightclub 3421 Kirkwood Highway, Wilmington, DE 19808
June 14, 2012 at The Delancy 168 Delancy Street, New York, NY
June 23, 2012 at the TLA on South Street, Philadelphia, PA (I’ll be the middle ages woman trying to be cool and awake)
You can always check them out on Facebook at MACH22 or http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/mach22 and http://www.youtube.com/user/mach22music
MACH22 is making that Old-School-Rock sound seem fresh. I am happy to announce that on June 1st they released their first music video.
For your listening pleasure, I present to you MACH22 and “Don’t You Give Me.”
**FEEL FREE TO CRANK UP THE VOLUME**
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