There is so much hubbub out there about the Government spying on average law-abiding citizens, but honestly I’m not sure what all the outrage is about. I was trying to think when the last time was that I actually had an ounce of privacy and I’ve concluded it was during those 9 glorious months in the womb. Peace on earth.

Once you’re exposed to this big bad world all bets are off regarding privacy. If you grew up in a house with other people a/k/a family members, you better believe your phone calls were being listened to by someone in that house. This task was not easy in the 70’s when your phone receiver weighed a good 50 pounds. 

Even though we didn’t have Facebook, we did have diaries with “locks” that were easier to pick than a nose, which were also much less private. Parents could easily walk into your room, lay on your bed with a glass of wine, light up a cigarette and enjoy all of your deep dark secrets. All privacy bets were off when you lived under the roof of old-school parents. 

If you are a parent or have ever been in the company of small children forget about EVER having a secret again. Kids tend to follow you everywhere and drill you with the most personal questions with ease and endless resilience. “Where do babies come from?” “Why does Billy have 2 moms/dads?” “Why is the sky blue?” “Where are all the dinosaurs?” “What does God look like?” “How old are you?” “Did you live on a prairie?” “Why don’t girls have jiggies?” Even the most skilled interrogators don’t tread in those waters. Oh and please be selective in your responses because your answers will be shared with anyone who will listen!

This does not include what they overhear you saying. Oh, they are so good acting as if they are just playing quietly while you are discussing the outrageous overprotectiveness of a certain mother on the block. Who needs drones when you have these stealth listeners around? The three small words “My mom said” have the power to leave even the strongest of parents groveling for an explanation.

Ok Brian thank you for …. sharing.

I had the pleasure of volunteering in my son’s pre-school class, which just happened to be a Christian run school. Let me just say that what happens in your house, does not stay in your house. It will be shared during Circle Time faster than you can say animal crackers! The subject on this particular day was discussing the dangers of smoking. There was a request for a raise of hands on who knew someone who smoked. This gave little Brian his golden opportunity to reveal “My mommy has  3 boyfriends 2 that smoke and 1 that doesn’t. I go in the closet when the smoking boyfriends come over.” Three year olds have a way of throwing their parents under the bus like no other age group. Honest to God there are moments in my life that will never be forgotten…this is high on that list mainly due to the look on  Mrs. Gumble’s face.

The reason I’m even discussing privacy or the lack there of in this world? Well, that would be because a certain member of my family is either working for the NSA,FBI,CIA,KGB … I probably just opened a big ole door publishing those trigger initials, or he is so head over heels in love with my every waking moment that he feels the need to make sure he doesn’t miss a second of my every day life. I’m leaning towards the latter, but who really knows. That’s right ladies & gents I’m talking about P.W.E.E . Peanut Watches Every Everything a/k/a Peanut the Maltipoo!

Here are just a few examples of how the P.W.E.E. operates:

Whatcha writing about?

I love the way you fold the laundry momma. I could watch you roll those socks for hours.

I could watch you blow dry your hair every day and never be bored…oh, wait that’s what I do.

I’ll just watch you while you watch the Voice.

I’ll get the bed warmed up for you.

I don’t always stare at you, but when I do I make sure I sit like a human and glare you down until you summon me to cuddle.

Just remember, you never know who’s watching so make it watch worthy and Enjoy the Ride!