The Truth and Nothing but the Truth
Today I am here to bitch and complain about a couple that have been driving me absolutely batty for some time now. Please let me introduce you to Politics and Religion. Not that anyone really needs an introduction at this point…they get around.
However, I’m sure you know them by their more popular names such as the Buzz Killers, Room Clearers, Fun Suckers and of course the old school … Party Poopers.
At this point in our lives I think its safe to say that we are all aware of the huge invisible SKULL & CROSSBONES displayed at the entrance to all public gatherings warning us of these two. So, unless you are prepared for a full on debate, that could potentially turn into a scene from the Fight Club, you must heed to the warning and avoid these two like a plague. People are on the brink of cray these days.
Sadly, thanks to technology, we now have the displeasure of facing these two in the comfort of our own homes. I know when 
I open my dear friend Mac I just want to chill. I do not want to be exposed to a heap of BS opinions about these two, but BAM! they always make an appearance. Unfortunately social media does not come with and arm waving robot screeching … DANGER LISA! DANGER! before logging on.
Honestly, how many hateful misinformed memes or “news” alerts that MUST BE SHARED to spread the misinformed hate across the land can one person endure? Not ONE more!
Don’t get me wrong, I too have had my moments. This fun-loving non confrontational Pisces has been sucked right into the vortex on occasion by … dare I say … responding to the crazy. I actually blow my own mind at how quickly I switch to Cap Lock and fire away.
It’s so frustrating to suddenly read the “opinion” of a well-educated, normally reasonable person, because it is based on the opinion of some half-truth media source. I think that’s what bugs me most….people have transformed from armchair quarterbacks to polarized parrots over night.
What the hell happened to waiting for the facts or heaven forbid the truth? I know they always seem to take their good ole time getting to the surface and their black sheep cousin Distorted ALWAYS shows up first reeking so much havoc no one even takes them seriously when they decide to sachet through the door….late as usual, acting like a couple of wallflowers!
I do have a solution to make some big changes, but it sadly doesn’t have a chance in hell of actually happening … even though it’s brilliant.
During my extensive research on this subject, I came to the conclusion that the only legit Truth & Fact tellers on this planet come in the form of a 4-year-olds. An advanced 3-year-old would also do.
These uninhibited balls of cuteness don’t play around with appropriateness, they go right for the jugular and get away with it with one flash of their dimples. They don’t worry about filtering what comes out of their mouths and they certainly don’t have a care in the world about political correctness. The truth and nothing but the truth.
I’ll tell you everything you want to know and then some.
They just let the truthful facts and common sense spew from their mouths without an ounce of concern. Let me put it this way … if a 4-year-old tells you you’re fat, chances are that is indeed a truthful fact. They don’t play!
Look at little Nancy Drew over there on the right. She took matters into her own little hands when her Kitty Bank was stolen by her babysitter. She just let the police know the truthful facts and BAM! the crime was solved. Kids are also very good judges of character .. we need to listen to what they have to say.
“The bad guys stole my kitty bank, they stole my iPod. They also stole my Xbox and my Wii,” the little girl said. “That was really her being bad. She’s not a good babysitter.”
Now take a moment to imagine all the decision-making seats in D.C. filled with 4 year olds. They don’t lie and they have no concept of money! Why no one has made this suggestion before is beyond me.
I can’t help but laugh as I ponder on all the conversations that may take place during a decision-making session. “Your Bill is dumb!” “No it’s not!””Yes it is!” “Ok.” Lord knows they would have these sessions wrapped up before snack time if little Mateo was running the show.
As we celebrate our freedoms today, let’s make a conscious effort to use these privileges wisely and Listen … Listen… Listen as we Enjoy the Ride!
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P.W.E.E.
There is so much hubbub out there about the Government spying on average law-abiding citizens, but honestly I’m not sure what all the outrage is about. I was trying to think when the last time was that I actually had an ounce of privacy and I’ve concluded it was during those 9 glorious months in the womb. Peace on earth.
Once you’re exposed to this big bad world all bets are off regarding privacy. If you grew up in a house with other people a/k/a family members, you better believe your phone calls were being listened to by someone in that house. This task was not easy in the 70’s when your phone receiver weighed a good 50 pounds.
Even though we didn’t have Facebook, we did have diaries with “locks” that were easier to pick than a nose, which were also much less private. Parents could easily walk into your room, lay on your bed with a glass of wine, light up a cigarette and enjoy all of your deep dark secrets. All privacy bets were off when you lived under the roof of old-school parents.
If you are a parent or have ever been in the company of small children forget about EVER having a secret again. Kids 
tend to follow you everywhere and drill you with the most personal questions with ease and endless resilience. “Where do babies come from?” “Why does Billy have 2 moms/dads?” “Why is the sky blue?” “Where are all the dinosaurs?” “What does God look like?” “How old are you?” “Did you live on a prairie?” “Why don’t girls have jiggies?” Even the most skilled interrogators don’t tread in those waters. Oh and please be selective in your responses because your answers will be shared with anyone who will listen!
This does not include what they overhear you saying. Oh, they are so good acting as if they are just playing quietly while you are discussing the outrageous overprotectiveness of a certain mother on the block. Who needs drones when you have these stealth listeners around? The three small words “My mom said” have the power to leave even the strongest of parents groveling for an explanation.
Ok Brian thank you for …. sharing.
I had the pleasure of volunteering in my son’s pre-school class, which just happened to be a Christian run school. Let me just say that what happens in your house, does not stay in your house. It will be shared during Circle Time faster than you can say animal crackers! The subject on this particular day was discussing the dangers of smoking. There was a request for a raise of hands on who knew someone who smoked. This gave little Brian his golden opportunity to reveal “My mommy has 3 boyfriends 2 that smoke and 1 that doesn’t. I go in the closet when the smoking boyfriends come over.” Three year olds have a way of throwing their parents under the bus like no other age group. Honest to God there are moments in my life that will never be forgotten…this is high on that list mainly due to the look on Mrs. Gumble’s face.
The reason I’m even discussing privacy or the lack there of in this world? Well, that would be because a certain member of my family is either working for the NSA,FBI,CIA,KGB … I probably just opened a big ole door publishing those trigger initials, or he is so head over heels in love with my every waking moment that he feels the need to make sure he doesn’t miss a second of my every day life. I’m leaning towards the latter, but who really knows. That’s right ladies & gents I’m talking about P.W.E.E . Peanut Watches Every Everything a/k/a Peanut the Maltipoo!
Here are just a few examples of how the P.W.E.E. operates:
Whatcha writing about?
I love the way you fold the laundry momma. I could watch you roll those socks for hours.
I could watch you blow dry your hair every day and never be bored…oh, wait that’s what I do.
I’ll just watch you while you watch the Voice.
I’ll get the bed warmed up for you.
I don’t always stare at you, but when I do I make sure I sit like a human and glare you down until you summon me to cuddle.
Just remember, you never know who’s watching so make it watch worthy and Enjoy the Ride!
Life With The Top Down 
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