Category Archives: Toxic People

Shit Show — Season 2 The Unveiling

Photo by Fillipe Gomes on Pexels.com

As Season 2 of that shit show we call 2020 continues, I must say it’s been interesting. What are we on now Episode 9? All I know is I’ve spent a good portion of it crying at EVERYTHING—my emotions on steroids. Not the happy go lucky ones, the “you look like Alice Cooper” kind. I’ve already lost a pair of contacts to a riptide on my face.

A dear friend reminded me that tears are an excellent way to hydrate. I also believe this to be true. My skin is glistening, and my eyes no longer require fake tears in a bottle. I’m one sad song aways from bottling my own and selling them on Etsy. Tears are Us.

Ok, so back in Episode 1, I was on the brink of losing it. Not only was I grieving the loss of my mother, I had the realization that I was also grieving the loss of the way many things had been for years. I was mostly missing that upbeat call at midnight, wishing me a Happy New Year as I lay sleeping on the couch missing the ball drop. Kind of a bummer for the season opener.

Episodes 2 & 3 were much better. I spent the morning trying to figure out what I could do with this newfound freedom. As I left the house for a fun-filled day with my love interest, I was excited about the possibilities. We walked around a small town in New Jersey that I swear was the set of a Hallmark Christmas movie, and I saw my first sign that anything is possible. It was a plaque with my full name, middle initial, and all, followed by PhD. Not that I have any intention of getting a PhD., but it made me think, ‘you got this world by the balls, now go get it.” All the answers are there if you keep your eyes open.

Oh, Episode 4 was a real doozy! It was my first day back to work after 252727262782 days off, and there was NO INTERNET! I work for a physician, and our entire system is internet-based. The phone was ringing off the hook, patients were coming in with new insurance information, and this one issue was about to paralyze our day. I thought, “No, absolutely not, not today 2021 you 2020 wanna be, NO!” There is always a Plan B waiting in the shadows; no matter what the situation, look and you will find.

Ugh, by noon, the earth was back on its axis, and our internet was restored just in time for the start of Episode 5, which was almost too perfect. These days I’m skeptical of smooth sailing. I’ll assume that’s a little PTSD from 2020. I got into my car, and as always, made sure my phone was on Bluetooth. Why? Because every day for the last, FOREVER days, I called my mom on the way home from work. Another contact fell victim to this cry festival.

Episode 6 began with waking up after a dream that was so vivid and intense it left me lying in bed wondering, “Was that a dream?” I spent the rest of my morning analyzing that bag of crazy before heading to work. As if that wasn’t enough, real-life crazy started with news alerts on my phone about the new Civil War talking place in D.C. Hearing and seeing this footage was alarming, but I was not surprised, to be honest. Was I expecting it so early into Season 2? No, but here we are riding the crazy train. That entire episode shined a big fat light on subjects that can no longer be ignored, denied, or defended. 

As I opened my eyes on Episode 7, I thought, “What’s next?” Ugh, while watching the morning news, it became clear that shit was getting very real here in the good ole U. S. of A. Watching the hypocrites surface and take flight was a real highlight. I’m not positive, but I do believe I may have broken a record for consecutive obscenities screamed at an object a/k/a a T.V.  Oh, and I was laid off, but I’m happy.

Wow, that is all I can say for Episode 8. The list of flip-flopping hypocrites was growing at record speed. At the same time, our Commander in Lies continues to search for a 12-year-old with more than one social media account he can use, and we are now up to 5 senseless deaths following whatever the hell that was that took place in Episode 6. On the bright side, I had a male and female cardinal show up in the tree outside my window. They spent over an hour watching my every move. I’m just going to call them mom & dad and leave it at that. 

Episode 9 opened up with ANOTHER vivid dream that was absolutely exhausting. I really believe this is the universes way of saying “Girl, we tried to tell you while you were awake, but you kept ignoring us.” We all know what this means – change is a coming. Something tells me those cardinals are working hard.

As I look at my personal life and the world around us, the veil is being lifted from reality. On a personal level, I recognize things about myself and those around me who may or may not remain in my circle with a clear lens. The evil and injustices evident to many for far too long are finally getting recognized with greater clarity and an undeniable audience. A change is gonna come.

In the meantime, my griefcase is packed, my eyes are open, and as always, I’ll fasten my seatbelt for the rest of Season 2 and try to Enjoy the Ride! 

Weapons Of Mass Destruction Have A Face

Giving-Pledge-Words_thumbNothing better to push me to write than a big ole “Happy Anniversary” from WordPress. Yep, it appears that I entered the Blogosphere 4 years ago today. Time flies when you’re having fun.

In the spirit of writing, today I would like to touch on the power of words.

Remember this old saying:  “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Yea, it’s the biggest piece of BS ever written. 

Words are capable of growing, changing and spreading. They have even been known to influencing our world, for good or evil; and they have the power to hurt us directly or indirectly through others. Today more than ever.

I never thought about a word being “alive” but when I think of words spoken through history, written down and passed through generations, they seem to resurrect when read or spoken today.

For instance, when I listen to the powerful speeches of John F. Kennedy and Martin Lutherimages King, Jr. I can feel their words reaching out and raising me to my feet some 50 years later. That folks is how it’s done.

The words of these men were delivered with such strength and passion you could practically feel a gentle hand on your shoulder. Today it’s more of a shove.

“Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country” ~ John F. Kennedy

Now, let’s fast forward to today…..

WTF

We are living in a time were our words, whether truthful or lies, courageous or weak, kind or hateful, have the ability to be heard, in some cases by the world, within seconds of leaving our minds via our mouths, phones and computers. We have the POWER!

Instead, we allow the Media to abuse their responsibility by silencing the good and sensationalizing the FUCKERY.

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

On the heels of the Republican “Debate”, I have been struck by a revelation regarding the power of words and the authority they can have over our lives. As a firm believer in our First Amendment, Freedom of Speech, I am stunned at the recent abuse of its power. No doubt good ole #1 crumbled itself up last night and headed for the nearest incinerator before the first commercial break. 

Why have we allowed this to continue beyond the F I R S T hateful message?

Why have we allowed O N E person to shine a spotlight on the worst of us?

Why have we allowed the media to continue to sensationalize this mess?

Why the FUCK aren’t we in the streets stopping it?

27b4ea021f2c548371dc500bc8733282The answer to all of these questions is Complacency: a feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better.

Although I don’t believe we don’t want things to be different, I do believe we have become a society of dependent thinkers. A group of people who want someone else to fix things for us and a society that frowns upon people who take it to the streets to protest injustices. Sheeple 

In the end, we have no one to blame but ourselves. When we get the urge to point fingers, we better head to the nearest mirror.

Honestly, I’m not afraid of terrorist attacks, ISIS, bombs, mass shootings, Mexicans, Muslims or any other fears that are fueling our current hateful fire, but I am very afraid of living in a society that promotes, encourages and allows it to be exploited. That is some real shit to fear. 

“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.” –Robert Frost

Today, the most powerful weapon of mass destruction has a face. It’s orange, with bad hairfc5599bb6bbe9b95d7634a5793bc58e7 and a vile mouth. It uses words to fuel anger. It uses words to feed its ego. It uses words to divide this nation. It uses words to make others feel small, and worst of all it’s CONTAGIOUS!

This is our biggest threat and it didn’t cross a border, it was created by the Republican party and grew into the monster it is by our complacency.

The good news is there is a way to put an end to this shit show; stop participating in it. Unfortunately, we have become a nation addicted to crazy, so this is not going to be easy. 

Enjoy the Ride … on the Crazy Train.  All aboard!

 

 

 

 

Breath of Fresh Air

983687_10151944185943508_1118236942_nWell, well, well, I bet you didn’t know I’ve been on vacation all week. Oh wait, correction, my boss has been on vacation all week and the office is closed, so I’ve been home. Not quite the same, but still not at work.

I must say in all my years I have never been so excited about not going to work for a week. This is not a good thing for me. 

Our office has always been a pleasant, humorous environment, one that I actually enjoyed going to every day. Now, well, not so much. The climate has changed and something tells me global warming can’t be blamed for this one. Unpredictable, unstable & unhappy.

These changes have a huge effect on me, especially my wellbeing. You see, I am what is considered a highly sensitive person. No, not someone who walks around crying on a whim, but one that becomes physically responsive to their surrounding. All this negative bull shit has been taking a toll on my mind & body.

Toxic energy has a way of sucking the good right out of us…not to mention it’s highly contagious. I’ve been sluggish, over weight, unmotivated and unhappy for well over a year now and too think it actually took being home for a week for me c45a70964e8c0e0762b9cee7a5f5fd92to see this clearly, is both remarkable and a tad bit sad. It’s amazing what breathing a little fresh air can do … umm hmm.

My week has been spent being me. No keeping my P’s & Q’s in check! No walking on egg shells! No hiding my true self! Whoot! 

Oh sure I could have sat around catching up on my reading while relaxing on my deck, but a big fat heat wave axed that idea real quick. Philadelphia went from OMG on Monday to WTF  by Friday, which didn’t leave much room for R&R outdoors. Soggy & Sweaty where the only things happening outside! 

Things really do happen for a reason though, this heat wave kept me grounded. It provided me with a week that was nothing short of refreshing and rejuvenating to my body, mind and soul. The week kicked off by visiting some family that we haven’t seen in way too long, which really got my rejuvenation juices flowing. After that burst of goodness, I just poured myself into my home, family and myself all week. Slaying toxins one negative vibe at a time with my loving self.

3a11655590da9bb3f421a4fb2c70def0My house is clean, organized, covered in love…and Lysol. My daughter had a healthy lunch waiting for her every day when she came home from job number one, so she could go off to job number two nourished with food and a big ole dash of momma love. My son, who was working outside all week in the fires of hell, welcomed his frozen water bottles and dinner on the table every night and my hubby, well, his statement summed it up “Hon, I think you should quit your job.” I knocked the pearls right off of June freaking Cleaver yo! 

The vacation or good ole days are coming to a close and it’s back to reality tomorrow, but not before a BBQ with my hubby’s siblings to welcome his sister who is visiting us from Maine.  So far it’s been great catching up with all that is new in our lives, reminiscing on the younger years and talking about the future. Live…Laugh…Love. 

So as I head back to the salt mines office tomorrow, I will be bringing something very special with me … myself. Let’s hope she makes it through the day! 

Go get your happy on and Enjoy the Ride! 

Stay Awake

tumblr_mctl04mveM1rabieto1_400People never cease to amaze me! Just when I thought it was safe to be line at the grocery store, something changed. Little did I know that someone, most likely the Fox network, must be dispensing portable soap boxes to their loyal listeners. This is what I’m going with since I have no other answer.

Hey, I am a huge fan of Free Speech, but for the love of God I can not tolerate when it is abused. Why on earth would a complete stranger feel that a hateful political rant would be a good way to strike up a conversation with ME of all people on this planet? guess the days of “hey baby what’s your sign?” are long gone. 

There I was minding my own business in the check-out line, reading the headlines on all the rag magazines, catching up on all the Kardashian bull shit news, when out of nowhere this person decided to egg me on while he ranted over everything under the sun. Maybe my peace sign bracelet set him off…who knows.

Well, that’s all I can say is THANK GOODNESS I’ve been graced with the gift of having my face come8a83b3cdb5d142b58ffcf58f0c7d9487 up with a quick response long before my mouth has a chance. Sometimes this can be a curse, but not this time. 

I have no idea what my face said, but I can only imagine it was something like “WOW!” or “Shut up you bigoted ass!” or perhaps both since I was then referred to as “one of them” shortly after my face had spoken.

There really were no words to respond, well I did think of two, but I wasn’t going that low. One would think that having a 5′ 9″ cricket as his only audience member would make him stop.

34f61adfcaba647773cb17bf7c5b7071Oh, this guy had all the answers. He was explaining everything that should be getting done “down there in Washington” and everything that would be getting done if “all the idiots” didn’t come out to vote. Can you feel my pain?

At this point I began chanting the ole “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” lecture in my head for sanity purposes. I’ll be honest, after the 3rd time there were F-bombs tossed in to keep me out of jail.

I stood in silence wondering what would happen if this guy spent a quarter of his energy actually contributing to something good instead of spreading his relentless mouth farts all over the place. Hmm, maybe … just maybe, it would loosen that padlock on his mind. 

Since that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon, I continued to silently ingest his gases while loading my groceries at the speed of light. As if food shopping wasn’t enough to suck the life out of me…seriously. 

“All of us wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don’t. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity.” Robert Kennedy

As you can imagine this left me with a huge social hangover by the time I got home. You know that wonderful feeling you get when you’re around exhausting people for a long period of time. It was going to take something much stronger than CALGON to take me away from this one!

I decided that the toxic remnants of this encounter had to leave before they did any more damage so I went out on my deck, flopped onto my swing and turned on some tunes. I was swinging in the silence when out of nowhere BAM! Teddy Pendergast saved the day. Thank you higher power, thank you very much!

I’m glad I didn’t waste my words on someone who didn’t deserve to hear my voice. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. Stay awake and Enjoy the Ride! 

I’ll Have Rainbow Tears To Go Please

d2a2e5e58030d7bca98165af11eab10bI have been very sad for the last few days while my heart is still on the mend after the loss of our beloved dog Chester. The continuous crying has left me looking like an Iguana, which is not a very good look. Bulging puffy eyes should never be allowed outside of the world of reptiles. However, over the past week I have had the pleasure of discovering something very important about tears…they are necessary and they come in different flavors. Let me explain…

This week we had two patients come in together right after lunch. One was a long existing pain in the ass  patient and the other, her evil bitch sister, who was there for the first time. Right out of the gate she was a bitch and it just kept on coming. Whew! My back is to the desk, so I couldn’t see her at first, I just had the displeasure of feeling the flames coming from her mouth. Well, let’s just say she was as ugly as her disposition. Ugly, mean and demanding….a triple threat. 

My dear friend and co-worker always gets me going with her anger…is it wrong to enjoy watching someone on the verge of a a66ceb2baf4528c0e61947d463a62327killing spree? I can’t help myself she’s hilarious in this state so I tend to…you know…egg her on. There she was, right in the line of fire with these 2 witches…literally on the verge of jumping the counter, when the PITA (pain in the ass) approached for assistance with her cell phone as if she were at the AT&T store. She had no clue how lucky she was at this point that she was still alive.

Well, let’s just say she may not have been so lucky during Round 2 when she approached the desk screeching “my phone keeps talking make it stop”  and waving her phone right into the face of her soon to be murderer. I did what any good co-worker would do … jumped up, took the bullet and prevented a jail term. Lord knows it would have been justifiable homicide.

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I have to admit, as aggravating as they Toxic Twins were, they did provide us with something that we ALL needed at the time….a good old-fashioned belly laugh…at their expense of course. 

Years ago we decided to create invitations a/k/a coping mechanisms for some of these unruly patients. Ironically, last week I accidentally came across the one for our imaginary Hay Ride. Talk about good timing!  Who knew that just the thought of these 2 sporting flammable outfits to a bon-fire could bring such … well … JOY.

The gray gloomy Tears of sorrow were replaced by a shiny set of rainbow Tears, leaving us all with a healthy glow, replenished souls and crossed legs. Laughter truly is the best medicine.

Recognize the silver linings and continue to Enjoy the Ride! 

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