Most of you know that Peanut entered our lives back in April, but what you don’t know is he has become quite the celebrity around these parts. I guess that makes me part of his entourage.
I can’t go anywhere without him being recognized! Our once 40 minute walk can now last well over an hour, as I stand on the sidelines while Peanut is mauled by his fans. By “mauled” I mean petted, hugged, talked to and scratched.
The majority of Peanut’s fans are under 4ft. tall and 6 years old. Of course there are a good amount of adult admirers that give a passing “he’s so handsome”, “look at that handsome boy” and the most commonly heard “aren’t you a cutie?” but the little ones are certainly the majority. I just love these pint-sized bundles of honesty.
Just the other night I was walking my furry version of the Biebs alone, due to hubby’s long day, when I was immediately stopped by the cutest little red-headed boy down the street. This little guy can spot us coming a mile away. I have no doubt he is president of the Peanut fan club.
Boy: Hi Peanut! Apparently I vanished.
Peanut: Moves in for some love. As if he doesn’t get enough.
Boy: Hey, where’s Peanut’s dad?
Me: Oh, he’s taking a nap.
Boy: Did you make him take a nap?
Me: No, he likes to take naps.
Me: Because he had a long day at work and he was tired.
Peanut: Laying on the ground like a throw rug from all the petting.
Me: Well, he had to get up very early and he just got home and that made him tired.
Boy: Did he say “hi” to Peanut?
Boy: Ok. Bye Peanut, I’ll see you tomorrow. He was on his way to a hot game of Candyland on the porch next door.
Me: See ya!
Peanut: Starts to come out of his love coma to continue his walk.
We continued on our way to get some much needed business out-of-the-way before running into a brother & sister team. Emma & Mikey are adorable. They are usually bathed and sitting on the step with their parents, patiently waiting for the ice cream truck when we come by. They can barely contain their excitement!
Emma: Hi Peanut! Mikey: Hi Peanut! Mikey is Emma’s echo.
Me: Hi guys you look all nice and clean in your pj’s.
Emma & Echo: Do you just have one dog?
Me: Yep, just Peanut.
Peanut: Flat on the sidewalk in all his glory.
Emma & Echo: Does Peanut get a bath before bed?
Me: No, just when he starts to smell.
Emma: We don’t smell, but we have to get a bath every day. Mikey: Yea
Me: People are different from dogs.
Emma: Sitting next to Peanut scratching his belly.
Me: Because dogs have fur and they can’t get wet every day. Why am I suddenly nervous?
Emma: Did you see the ice cream man?
Me: No, but I heard the music he must be close.
Emma & Echo: YOU DID? YOU HEARD THE MUSIC? WHEN?
Peanut: Jumps up thinking a riot is about to start.
Me: Umm a couple of minutes ago, I’m sure he’ll be here soon. Yikes!
Emma: Does Peanut like ice cream?
Me: Yep, he likes vanilla.
Mikey: Do you buy the ice cream man for him?
Me: No, he just has a little of ours.
The ice cream man is approaching so we said our goodbyes as Emma & Mikey screeched with joy. Note to self: Do not mention you have any knowledge of the ice cream man’s whereabouts to small children.
Next up two of the cutest little boys you can imagine. One with white hair like a miniature surfer and the other sporting brown hair and a freckled face. Cute as can be so I know they had horns. They are best friends and reminded me so much of my son and his buddy Tommy when they were small. They were both 4 years old. I know because they made me guess. The dynamic duo or double trouble … depending on the day.
Duo: What’s your dog’s name?
Duo: Giggling…Peanut? Like a food?
Me: Yep, just like the food.
Duo: Why did you name him a food?
Me: I didn’t. He already had the name when we got him.
Peanut: Having his head rubbed by two hysterical children.
Duo: Giggling. Repeating the word peanut as if it was the funniest thing they ever heard.
Me: Laughing at their laughter.
Duo: Peanut you have a name of a food. Giggles. You smell like a peanut. Giggles.
Me: I don’t think he smells like a peanut.
Duo: Does he smell like a poop? They are rolling on the ground with Peanut laughing.
Me: I knew it.
Me: I knew one of you was going to say poop.
Duo: Out of control over the fact that I said poop.
Peanut: Looking at me for help to escape the crazy.
Me: See ya guys.
Duo: BYE Peanut….poop….still laughing.
Every night we make our rounds like we’re on the campaign trail. While Peanut is greeting strangers and kissing babies I’m holding his poop bag like a demoted Secret Service Agent. Ya know, Peanut just may be the one to take 2016. If I can get the voting age changed we’re talking LANDSLIDE.
Peanut 2016: I sniff butts, I won’t kiss them.
Peanut 2016: I wag my tail, not my tongue.
Peanut 2016: The only tail I’m chasing is my own.
Be the Dog: Be faithful … Be a good listener … Love unconditionally and Enjoy the Ride!
Since Peanut a/k/a “P” or “P-Diddy has arrived I have been taking full advantage of his energy. I’m starting to believe that he is an Energizer Bunny/Tasmanian Devil mix a/k/a an Enertaz and not a Maltipoo as we originally thought. Yes, I am jealous.
Since we are both up at the crack of dawn Since we are both nudging Dawn to get her ass up, I’ve decided to take advantage of our time together by walking. For months I’ve been wearing a pedometer to count my steps each day as a motivator, but it wasn’t working and I was becoming very discouraged by my low numbers at the end of the each day. Apparently I should have purchased a Sloth meter if I wanted “results.”
I’m happy to announce that my numbers have tripled in the 3 weeks since P and I have started our routine. My highest number so far has been slightly over 16,000, which is 8 miles in one day. The Sloth has left the building … feel free to hoot and holla.
We head out around 5:30 (yes in the morning) and I must say there is something invigorating about witnessing my neighborhood coming alive in the morning. I feel like I’m intruding. This is especially true on the weekends when even the birds are sleeping in after a long week of chirping. Sadly this early bird is incapable of doing that … even on the weekend.
One thing I know for sure is that all this stillness has certainly opened my eyes and ears a little wider to my surroundings, which just expands my imagination to another level. So far I have made myself laugh out loud and scared myself half to death. Here is a sampling of my week.
1. Every morning I see a young blonde haired woman who is always sporting bright pink from head to toe like the human version of Estee Lauder’s “Simply Pink” lipstick. I have no doubt that her ensemble was pulled right from her little Barbie Dream House closet. I couldn’t help but worry that she may just fade away if she continues to run at this level.
2. I live in a very blue-collar neighborhood, so it’s no surprise at the number of pick-up trucks I see heading out in the wee hours, however I also noticed something else about people who head to work early … they do not seem to stop at stop signs … EVER. Come on people at least throw me a break light and a damn roll! I guess I’ll have to assume that Ford has come up with a windshield that only recognizes the word STOP after 6 a.m.
3. One of my favorite observations to date are the people on the bus stop. There is usually a group of miserable faced teenagers heading to school and an older group of miserable faced people heading to work. No one is talking or acknowledging that anyone else actually exists. I look on hoping that one day they’ll all break out into a badass version of Sweet Child Of Mine.
4. Does anyone out there remember the good ole paper boy from a life time ago? You know, that little freckled-faced kid who rode his bike up and down the streets to deliver your paper … TO YOUR DOOR. Those days are long gone around here. Every single day I watch an overweight guy in a beat-up mini van looking like a pedophile driving down the street, while throwing the papers out of the window. Seriously? Ugh, it drives me so crazy I find myself finishing his job and tossing the papers up to the porch!
5. I could probably write a short novel just on the horrors of decorating choices that I’ve witnessed, but honestly “ain’t nobody got time for dat!” But I couldn’t let you miss out on all the fun, so I selected one of the strangest encounters. NOTE: This house is not near my home … I would have to move.
I tried very hard to justify why there would be Nutcrackers on display in May. Yes, there was more than one, but I was afraid to film the entire army. At first I thought that maybe someone was sick and they didn’t have time to remove them, but then I noticed freshly planted flowers, so that was out. I went from benefit of the doubt to insanity in 2 seconds flat.
Well, if it’s not an illness, it must be he works of a serial killer. Obviously, some freak who had a bad experience with a nutcracker now surrounds himself with fresh blocks of wood as he waits to whittle the faces of his victims onto his growing army of nutcrackers. Oh yea, I actually scared myself on that one! Apparently I have watched one too many episodes of Criminal Minds.
Enjoy the Ride … even if you’re walking!