Tag Archives: Curiosity

No One Wants a Dead Cat

By Life With The Top Down on January 11, 2013 | 20 Comments

If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.

I’m going to keep this simple…the answer is NO. Oh, please don’t expect some deep complicated thought on life paths, you’re not going to get that from me. This is common sense. For those of you who think on that higher plain of thought, I’ll break it down and do my best to make it sound much more complicated than it already is so you’ll understand.

By nature Human Beings are curious, so of course our first instinct would be Hell yea I want to know what’s going to happen! Then we take a moment, pause and think Wait a minute, didn’t something happen to some cat who was curious? Indeed it did folks, indeed it did. If memory serves me correctly, he perished in his own curiosity.

No, this little tale is not meant to frighten you into delving into normal curiosity, just the big stuff. To help you along in your decision-making I took time out my busy day to create this Curiosity Chart. I’m a visual learner, so I find pictures to be very helpful in the learning process.

RED LEVEL OF CURIOSITY (Killed the Cat): This is for those times when you find yourself on vacation with your friends at a secluded mountain house. Three of your 6 friends have already been murdered, you have no phone service or means to escape. After having sex with one of your remaining friends, because that’s what scared to death grieving people do, you get up to investigate a strange noise coming from behind a closed-door. Suddenly you remember the cat that perished, but continue to open the door as to give that dead cat a big fat FU. Well, guess what? You deserve the slaughtering you get. This is CURIOSITY WITH A SIDE OF STUPID.

ORANGE LEVEL OF CURIOSITY (Mamed the Cat): Enter with caution…literally. This is for those times when the thought may run through your mind that “Hey Bobby or Mary’s significant other is hot.” First of all there is a good reason why that thought was in fact RUNNING. This is never a good idea unless you’re looking to lose everything in your life. Penises and testicles have been known to go missing. The result of this level of curiosity lasts a lifetime…think twice.

YELLOW LEVEL OF CURIOSITY: (Injured the Cat): This is usually harmless, but it has been known to require an extended healing process. It’s your birthday and there is a BIG present on the table calling your name. You can either ever so slightly remove a corner, peek and be ________. Big packages of any kind have been known to disappoint. The recovery time on this is fairly quick, depending on the level of disappointment of course.

BLUE LEVEL OF CURIOSITY (Causes Purring): This is my favorite! I use it every single day. For me this could be noticing a cute pair of boots on a stranger and simply inquiring “OMG I love your boots! Where did you ever find those beauties?” See we’re all smiling. This is a win/win kind of curious that traditionally leaves all parties walking away Purring. Again, the level of Purring depends strictly on the situation..wink wink.

See how easy that was class. Now, don’t open that book unless you’re fully prepared to handle all of the above levels of curiosity. Do you really want to wake up one day with the full knowledge that you are about to indulge into a full-blowed Red Level day? As curious as I am, I would have to answer this with a big fat … NO.