With the Summer hightailing it out of dodge while EVERYTHING pumpkin is busting through the door I decided it was a perfect time for some much-needed pampering. A mani pedi does wonders for this girl.
Recently I switched up facilities that tend to my hooves. I was no longer feeling the love at Style Nails, so I started an affair with Cuticle Corner.
No fear people my feet are still snickered about in foreign languages as if they’re not even in the damn room. I really wish I knew how to say “maybe it’s your freakishly small hands that make my feet appear exceptionally large!” That seems like a lot of work, so I just let them gossip.
I must say I LOVE the way Geenie works her magic, however, like everything else good in this world there is a price. Mine is being told “RELAX” “Stop finger fighting me!” and my very favorite “I will charge you one dollar every time I tell you to relax.” Yes, I keep going back.
On Friday, I had an appointment for 3:00. I arrived at 2:40 with the intention of scanning the polish selection and catching up on the latest issue of People magazine. Unbeknownst to me, this is against the obvious secret code of nail salons.
First Geenie asks “why you come so early?” I innocently responded with the facts about color choice, which was not the correct answer. Next thing I know I’m being escorted to the pedicure chair of shame where “Helen” will now be doing my pedicure. Pedicure prison is a real thing at this salon.
Why I felt the need to explain to “Helen,” who could care less, that I just wanted to take my time choosing a color and read the People magazine is beyond me, but I did. Negative zero Ef’s were given by Helen who bitched in Spanish to her co-worker the entire time.
Once I was paroled over to the manicure station I was greeted by Geenie, where I sat relaxed in silence. It might have been the fear of being sent to solitary that kept me on my toes.
Just as Geenie was done, I asked if she had time to do my eyebrows. Because at this moment I had lost my mind.
I hopped up on the table, and without missing a beat, the crucifixion of my eyebrows began.
- Your brow wild.
- They so thick this will hurt.
- A slew of under the breath disgust.
What would an eyebrow crucifixion be without dragging other body parts into the mix? Pretty freaking awesome if you’re asking me!
Sadly the words “what about lip?” were uttered and I responded with a very optimistic yet clearly wrong “why? Do you think I need it?” If only I could go back in time.
- I make you look like woman again.
- This hurt bad, very bad.
- Welcome back to woman.
Conclusion: My friends and family are either too horrified to inform me that I missed my calling as a Tony Orlando impersonator or Geenie is a bitch.
Enjoy the ride!
As I was weeding the garden I discovered something very important about myself…I really love NOT weeding the garden. Of course I continued the dreaded task at hand, while pondering the entire time on all the other things that I love NOT doing. Hmm, I guess I’m not surprised at the list, maybe just the length.
2. I love NOT camping. (Amenities people, amenities)
3. I love NOT being on my knees in the dirt. (Retraction: That depends….)
5. I love NOT listening to Country music. (I don’t need to explain myself)
6. I love NOT cooking on hot days. (This could also include warm & cold days)
7. I love NOT being on a schedule. (I enjoyed that ONE time, I really did)
8. I love NOT getting bit by insects. (I’m a human bug buffet)
9. I love NOT shaving my legs in the Winter. (Instant leg warmers)
10. I love NOT watching sports. (It’s like watching a moving math equation)
12. I love NOT being Republican. (Please)
13. I love NOT cleaning the bathroom. (Watching the hubby do it is pretty much foreplay)
14. I love NOT being uptight, ridged or having a “stick up my ass” face. (Ugh, miserable f’ers)
15. I love NOT listening to bull shit. (Fabrications to enhance a boring tale are welcome)
18. I love NOT having to watch Barney the
MOFO dinosaur. (I don’t love you)
19. I love NOT being PC. (Soooooooo boring)
20. I love NOT wearing underwear. (Wait! what? … Gotcha)
I loved NOT having to use too many brain cells writing this, which gave me some much needed free time to … Enjoy the Ride!
I don’t want to brag or make anybody jealous but … Judy over at Raising the Curtain has nominated Life With The Top Down for the ABC (Awesome Blog Content) Award. Oh, yea baby Judy thinks this blog ROCKS!
I love Judy’s blog! She incorporates humor and wisdom into her writing in a way that leaves you entertained and enlightened. I am honored to be one of Judy’s chosen bloggers and humbled that someone thinks enough of my writing to pass this honor my way.
Of course this award isn’t handed out without a string attached, come on now, awards are earned remember. Now I must provide all of you with 26 things about myself, chronicled from A to Z, and then pass the honor along to 5 blogs that I deem worthy.
I am very excited to introduce others to good reading material. In the “real” world I enjoy passing books along to friends and now I have the pleasure of passing on some Awesome Blog Content that I have discovered here in the Blogosphere.
Here Is A Little Of Me From A to Z
- Animated … yes, my face says it all without ever uttering a word.
- Bodacious … I love this word and hope to do it justice some day.
- Convertible … the car that rolled into my life and brought the other C-word, change.
- Dramatic … in a loud Oh My God kind of way.
- Eagle-Eyed … I notice EVERYTHING.
- Fidgety … boredom sets in quickly if I’m not “feeling it”.
- Guarded … yea, you’re not getting in unless I have 100% trust.
- Horny … I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
- Integrity … you better have it if you want to be a part of my life.
- Jovial … I am generally happy and I like other shiny happy people.
- Klutzy … walls jump out at me, sidewalks trip me and stairs become slides….always.
- Lolita … my alter ego…nuf said.
- Mysterious … no need to give it all up…a little wonder is sexy.
- Navy Seal … dubbed by my teenagers because I always figure out their plans (Pa-leez!)
- Optimistic … no one likes negative Nancy, including yours truly.
- Political … ah, it’s in the blood.
- Quick … the wit is like lightning.
- Rebel … well-behaved women never make a difference.
- Sarcastic … always and forever.
- Talkative … if you have a pulse, I’ll start a conversation.
- Urban … city slicker through and through.
- Vivacious … animated, spirited, passionate..need I say more.
- Whistle Blower … hardest & most rewarding mark to date.
- X-Rated … the mind takes several trips to the gutter … daily.
- Youthful … I may not look it, but I feel it.
- Zippy … I like this word.
Congratulations to my Fabulous Five….
fridaynightfamily … A great Blog that nourishes your Body & Soul.
Life In The Dash Lane (1962 – ?) … Truly captures the essence of a personal journey.
Commander In Chic … Her writing inspires me every day to be a better me.
Miss Four Eyes … Young, fresh, funny and wise beyond her years.
Views and Mews by Coffee Kat … Daily life happenings with a dash of humor and pinch of wisdom.
Check out the Fab Five and as always….Enjoy the Ride!
1967, The Jimi Hendrix Experience appeared on UK TV’s Top Of The Pops’ . Jimi gave his unscripted opinion on the music that made it to the top. No filters, no PR waving their hands trying to make him stop talking …nothing but an honest answer to a simple question.
However, I did notice that Jimi tended to use the descriptive words, beautiful, pretty and ridiculous (in a good way) repeatedly throughout the article for his positive feedback and a very mild “Musicwise, I’m sorry, but I just don’t care for them” as the negative, when referring to the Monkees.
This BadA$$ with a guitar was a gentle soul or maybe it was the LSD talking, who knows. What I do know is that … it isn’t such a bad thing.
This lead me to ponder the idea of perhaps putting a little LSD into, I don’t know, the ventilation system at The Capital. I believe it could be a game changer.
John: Nancy you are beautiful.
Nancy: John you are ridiculous.
The possibilities are endless…..Enjoy the Ride!