Tag Archives: Happiness

A Ride to Remember

51woxOQWgQLAs I was driving into work one morning, listening to one of my many favorite morning radio shows “The Preston & Steve Show” on 93.3 WMMR here in Philly. I say “many” because I am beyond a channel changer while driving. But this show certainly has a way of making my ride a little brighter as I head to the salt mines office every day.

This particular morning there was a discussion on a new book titled “Carsick” by John Waters. It’s a wonderful entertaining story about John’s decision to hitchhike across the country. As the DJ’s were discussing excerpts from the book, listeners were calling in to tell their personal stories about a time when they had no other choice but to hitch a ride. I found this all very intriguing.

Lucky for me John was making his rounds promoting his tale and I was able to catch an interview with him on the Bill Maher Show. I ordered the audio version right smack in the middle of the interview!

I must say I have never listened to a book before, because I am a traditional girl who enjoys her books written on paper, but since I have a 30-40 minute ride to the gym every day, I thought this would be a good way to pass the time and avoid my OCD channel changing … Mission accomplished John! 

And so the adventure begins….

And so the adventure begins….

Many of you may already know that the then 66 year-old Baltimore film director John Waters decided to hitchhike from his home in Baltimore Maryland to his home in San Francisco. Crazy or living life? 

Just the idea of such a journey in 2014, when the world seems so humanly disconnected, had me completely fascinated. I’m not sure why since I never had a wish to hitchhike … especially since most hitchhikers are usually portrayed as serial murders and frankly I’m a scardy cat. However, John did point out that most serial killers are looking for 20-year-old hookers and that did make me feel much safer.

The excitement as I put the first CD into the player was admittedly a tad over the top, but who cares … I just wanted to hear all the details of this journey … one CD at a time.

After listening to at least 2 CD’s I started to think …. “why haven’t I heard about any of this on the news?” 

Well, the answer to that million dollar question was found when I decided to read up on the details of the book. Something I usually do before I hit the “Add to cart” button. This is where I learned I that the first half of the book was John’s fictional version of his trip. Let me just say If anyone has some swamp land they want to get rid of … I’m your girl.

First up are the fictional good and bad rides; followed by the real rides that got him to San Francisco. 3 books for the price of 1!

If you’ve ever seen or read any of John’s past work you are well aware that his imagination reaches a level that most people cannot even fathom and he does not hold back in the fictional version of his journey. Some might think it was over the top, others (like myself) might think … hey, you never know. 

How could you not respond to this clever sign?

How could you not respond to this clever sign?

John wouldn’t be John without adding some exaggerated lewdness to the first half of the book. Hey, he isn’t known as the “Pope of Trash” for his portrayal of sunshine and butterflies. There were times when I think I might have blushed, cringed and laughed behind the wheel as I listened to him tell his fictional tale, but it didn’t stop me.

His words just confirmed that if anyone in this world was going to have sex with an Alien; be given a magical asshole for three hours that would fix a flat and sing duets with Connie Frances …  well, it would be John Waters.

After all the crazy antics of the fictional adventures, I heard the words 18s4bouiebbr9jpg“The Real Thing” and I found myself so engrossed that I was driving in circles just to finish a chapter. It was worth every ounce of fuel … even at $3.67 a gallon!

I couldn’t help but imagine myself as one of those dashboard hula girls eavesdropping on every ride.  Best seat in the house. 

Does all of this make me want to manicure my thumb and hit the highway? Not one bit.  It does however urge me to head into each day with my wit, optimism and belief that not every stranger is a serial killer … some are just out there to Enjoy the Ride  …  just like me. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mrs. Magoo

82f61d98e3340a4c2f716c03d6c8a993I am trying very hard to age gracefully, but I must admit there’s not much grace involved when you are suddenly half blind and randomly peeing your pants.

I must admit that my biggest peeve so far has been the loss of my once perfect vision. Perfect …. it was PERFECT!

Of course I know that I must sound like a whining ungrateful first world person with partial vision, but I don’t care …. I MISS MY SIGHT! I do not like depending on my young eye rolling daughter for assistance in reading price tags, text messages or labels. I’m basically sending her to college to be a guide dog at this point. 

Ugh, the struggles are endless. Oh, yes I did say struggle and I’m not afraid to bump it up to hardship if necessary. When I’m out and about on my own I find myself scanning the room for a set of young friendly, potentially assisting eyes. I’m convinced the Cougars out there aren’t looking for hot sex, they’re looking for a good set of eyes!5f9d3430506f079a63ef4ef22f669455

I guess you’re all saying “Get Glasses!” right about now aren’t you?  Well, for your information I have glasses, but I REFUSE to wear them on top of my head, where I know they’ll be entangled in my hair, creating the potential for a bald spot or heaven forbid having them dangling around my neck on one of those decorative chains that just draws even more attention to my loss of perfect sight. Therefore, my stubbornness has resulted in me CONSTANTLY loosing my glasses.

The reason I am bitching, moaning and beating a fossilized horse on this subject is something happened to me a few weeks ago that brought this acute Mr. Magoo lifestyle to the surface full force. For the crowd under 40, Mr. Magoo was a famous cartoon character who made a fortune off of his blindness. 

A few weeks ago I went out back with my love bug Peanut for his morning walk. I’ve learned the hard way to always LOOK carefully before opening the gate, because critters are always roaming around waiting to scare the shit out of me. Animals have a sick sense of humor, especially in the morning.

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Blue Tropical Parrot spotted in the Northeastern section of Philadelphia

There was no need for me to wear glasses on this trip out back … or so I thought. Just as I was about to open the gate I noticed a beautiful blue parrot just sitting peacefully in the field. I went back in the house to grab a phone so I could capture a photo of this once in a lifetime moment. My husband was perplexed at my behavior, but I assured him my excitement was justified.

I gently opened the gate, channeled my inner church mouse and proceeded to tip toe through the grass. I couldn’t believe my luck that the bird wasn’t fleeing as I got closer. It was like he was just waiting for me. My heart was pounding out of my chest with excitement over my luck!

As I got a few feet away my EYES started to adjust and I suddenly had the sad realization that I was not going to be the one to capture this beautiful bird and collect the handsome reward that would most likely be posted for its safe return.

Nope, I was not going to post a photo of this grand bird on my Facebook page, where it would no doubt receive millions of “likes” and be shared all over the world.

Nope, my photo was not going to blow up Twitter like Ellen’s selfie at the Oscars … it just wasn’t going to happen.

Apparently I had misjudged the identification of this species, most likely due to my recent case of Magooitis, but my friend Dan, who was obviously concerned, sent my photo to the local Bird Society where it was correctly identified.

I am happy to present to you the Herr’s Blue Chip Foil, normally found in the potato fields of Idaho, but due to recent climate changes high winds this beauty landed smack in the middle of Northeastern Philadelphia where it resided until the next big wind.

Herr's Blue Chip Foil

Herr’s Blue Chip Foil

Needless to say when I realized what I had stumbled upon I went down on my knees, laughed out loud and of course … peed my pants. Even though I miss my 20/20 vision a great deal, I must say having Magooitis has provided me with some great laughs while I continue to … Enjoy the Ride! 

 

 

 

 

Youth Has No Age

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My love bugs!

I’m sure you were all wondering if I decided to drive off a cliff with the top down after turning 50, but actually it’s been just the opposite. That’s right I’ve been out and about spending my days being nothing short of FAB-U-LOUS! 

My husband hosted a luncheon in my honor at the beautiful Bridgetown Mill House, where I was celebrated by my family. I must say the best gift of the day was not purchased at any store. I know that sounds like a cliché, but it is 100% true.

There is something extremely healthy about being surrounded by people who really love you with all their heart. Truly the best birthday EVAH! 

Fear one tackled! Celebrating after my first 5k!!

Fear one tackled! Celebrating after my first 5k!!

After all the celebrating I made a decision to take on some fears that have been preventing me from being the best me. Fears tend to do that you know.

It was time to pack up my younger self for a short trip down memory lane.I gave her a big “it’s been real bitch”, grabbed my aging self and ran like hell! Honestly, the “who cares” phase is so much more liberating than the “what will they think?” phase of my life.

Next up was recognizing or admitting that I’m not getting those younger years back, so I better start a hot and heavy love affair with the future real soon. Once I realized that 50 was actually the threshold to get me to the future, I came to terms with the realities. Holding onto the past is only going to leave you standing out on the porch pissed off at the world. 

Below is a sample of some truths that I chose to face before crossing the threshold. 

1517630_10201614433267345_1436962995_n1. No matter how good I feel about the look of my ass, I will NEVER be able to go commando in my workout pants … ever!

  • REASON: Panty lines are no longer a big deal when you’ve been forced to wear the equivalent of a twin sized mattress between your legs for fear of peeing all over the floor during a workout.

2. I really should have taken the time to appreciate what I saw in the mirror when I had the chance.  I feel as though I wasted so much time and energy focusing on my “faults” during every reflection, I never got to appreciate the whole package.

  • REASON:  The day will come when you pass a mirror, take a few steps back, look again and say “who the fuck is that?”

3.  Now when my phone rings in the middle of the night it will not be a drunk girlfriend summoning me to a club where there is c5ca6c4ca0b2ba7cc0337cff8f1832f8an abundance of hot available men nor will it be a hot available man summoning my booty.

  • REASON: Phone calls in the middle of the night now mean two things .. DEATH or DEATH.

4.  Sight is a gift that I have taken for granted. I wish I spent my youth threading more needles, reading more newspapers or just “seeing” anything and everything.

  • REASON: The day will come when you realize you now have the same vision as a naked mole rat. This means that your chances of mistaking a mannequin for a live person now have better odds than you winning the lottery. 

5.  During my 20’s I really should have taken advantage of going braless. I should have worked the perkiness of my breasts and flaunted them to the world. They were nothing short of magnificent!!

  • REASON:  One day you will wake up and actually justify rolling up your now sagging breasts, placing them into a something that resembles a medieval torture contraption … just to go food shopping.

65cf4114fae975dc734dde69262211d4I’ll admit crossing the threshold was filled with some mixed emotions. It was like being really happy at a funeral. If that makes any sense at all.  I just stood in the doorway thinking “damn this is liberating” , until I noticed the sickle of the Grim Reaper shining just a tad brighter in the distance. Back It Up Bitch!  

Instead of trying to beat age make the most of it. If that means bedazzling your adults diapers … do it!

Enjoy the Ride! 

 

 

Happiness Is The Truth

Once upon a time, in the wee hours of the morning on a cold winter day 50 years ago, something very special happened. A baby girl with jet black hair and big brown eyes made her way into this world. Oh, she didn’t enter this big bad world like one of those average babies, she made her debut with a grand arrival. It didn’t matter a snow storm was brewing. It didn’t matter that the doctor couldn’t get to the hospital and it certainly didn’t matter that the nurse said she wasn’t “ready” to be born. Um, I wasn’t a Butterball for godsakes.

This little bundle of joy wanted to make a lasting impression and that’s exactly what she did as she barreled into the world by sliding right to the bottom of the hospital bed like a wet seal all by herself.  No doubt causing my mother to instantly spring a gray hair… or two. Hey, it you’re gonna go… go big … right?

Little Lisa Maria was born on February 19th, 1964. She is the youngest of 4 children a/k/a “the baby” of the family. A label she still wears today when her mother introduces her to ANYONE. But she doesn’t mind, she just smiles and sheepishly embraces her title.

As you can see Lisa continued liven things up at her first birthday party. In her defense she isn’t the one who purchased the chocolate, nor is she the one who left it in arms reach of a baby. If we’re going to point fingers, I would start with the tall people at the party.

1 year-old Lisa knew how to celebrate!

What?

Now let’s fast forward to today, when I once again slid to the bottom of a bed to officially hit another milestone. “Slid” may be a little strong… shimmied might be better.

Drum Roll Please  ….

The Big 50

Fifty

Half a Century

Fiddy

LXXXI

Cincuenta

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As I was doing a little research on turning Fiddy I found out that I am in some pretty good company this year. Aside from all those other AARP cardholders that is. Who the hell knew that so much greatness could emerge in one year? 1964 was certainly rocking some star power. Let’s kick the list off with a little name dropping shall we.  Ahem … First Lady Michelle Obama, Matt Dillon, Rob Lowe, Lara Linney, Lenny Kravitz  and G.I. Joe just to name a few. There are actually 103 on the list, including yours truly, but I don’t want to make you green with envy bore you by listing all of the awesomeness of my birth year.

I also found a very interesting historical fact about this day 50 years ago. Out of all the incredibly memorable events taking place in 1964 you will not believe what went down on this date. Are you ready?

UK flies ½ ton of The Beatles wigs to the US

Seriously? I’m left to assume that the historians were out to lunch and the lab monkeys got together and thought this was hilarious. I’m still not sure how or why this is considered history, but more importantly I was not able to find a single owner of one of these wigs. Now I sort of want one ….

Any who …. since I love to see people happy in honor of my 50th Birthday I want you to take a break and celebrate with me … Because I’m Happy! If you are the proud owner of a Beatles wig feel free to put it on now. 

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do

Enjoy the Ride!

Little Moments Matter Most

BadGiftsThere comes a time in any relationship when you start to dread gift giving holidays. I know, I know but if I yearn for something, I go get myself something. The thought of leaving “hints”around the house for someone to notice is exhausting. Not to mention they would need to be the size of a billboard surrounded by bright flashing lights for anyone to “notice.”  This holiday season I made the executive decision to start giving the gift of experiences to my immediate love one. Fun memories can go a long way.

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This is not us, but it explains it all…heaven.

My first decision really didn’t take much time at all. We have both been talking about getting a massage for months, so I found a cool salon in the city Body Restoration that offers a couples massage and ta-da my experience was purchased. Hmm…did you ever get the feeling that talking about something and doing something might be completely different? 

Well, our appointment was this past Sunday and I couldn’t wait to give some lovin to these sore muscles. All week I was providing my husband with a daily countdown to the big day, but he wasn’t really giving me the “OMG! I CAN’T WAIT EITHER!” vibe in return. So I finally had to ask “Are you excited about our massages?” Insert long pause along with several odd facial expressions. He was nervous because he wasn’t sure what to expect. What?! Really?! I’m happy to report all those fears left as soon as he hit the heated table. I heard him SNORING twice!

Speaking of heated tables … I was so relaxed that I barely noticed that my right nipple was practically engulfed in flames midway through my massage. You know you’re relaxed when your arm is too limp to shift your burning nipple as you tell yourself things like … “it’s cool you have another one.”

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Incredible food and service.

We must have looked like two linguine noodles as we headed over to Rittenhouse Square for a much-needed bite to eat. The complimentary cucumber water and cashews only went so far.

It was our lucky day because we stumbled into a great little eatery called Rouge. I was immediately surprised at how crowded this place was at 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Apparently this is the time of day when the extremely wealthy eat their meals.

As we sat at the bar waiting for our table I immediately started to absorb my surroundings. For starters there was a beautiful young woman fawning over what I believed to be a fossil of some sort, but then realized it was talking and footing the bill. They were all over each other like teenagers, which was bizarre, but then again money has been known to provoke odd behavior. 

Since I have what some may consider a super power of sorts … yes, you read that right. I have the ability to zero in on conversations imagesall around me. Sort of like a human radar without the big bulky satellite dishes.  This is how I learned that the fossil’s name was Jonathan and his young lady friend was Beverly. Apparently Jonathan let his penis take Beverly shopping for a Burberry cashmere wrap. How do I know? Let’s see…she never shut up about it while spinning around Jonathan like a belly dancer!

There was also a group of elders enjoying a lovely brunch at a table to my right. Just looking at them you knew they were frequent patrons. This wasn’t too hard to figure out since the entire wait staff hovered over them like a group of seagulls waiting for a fry to drop. 

Just as they were getting ready to leave a very distinctive odor filled the room. Nothing bad, just odd. Then it hit me…it was the scent of old money. I’ve had the pleasure of getting a whiff of this before from one of our patients at work. There is a huge difference between the scent of the money that regular folks use and this old money. ae24b0d08ad6bc4b0faf7e9fb5715a6c

My money, when I even have the pleasure of having some in my wallet, usually goes undetected because it’s in and out in a flash. But this “old money”, it gives off the scent of mothballs, aged scotch and wool.  I just imagine bundles of cash aging in the comforts of a luxurious safe, while without even breaking a sweat, multiplying at record speed.  I suspect the eldest money in the safe provides daily lectures that begin with the line … “when I first came to the safe.”

All in all it was a wonderful day loaded with memories. The massages were incredible! The food, drinks & conversations ours and everyone else’s were entertaining and the company… just priceless. Well, not literally “priceless”, but definitely worth every new dollar.

Take time to make some memories with the ones you love, even if your nipple is on fire and your cash flow dwindles at the speed of light, just … Enjoy the Ride! 

Ready To Make The World Squint

The other morning I came across a reblogged post by Mimi over at Waiting For The Karma Truck that really struck a nerve. Well, it wasn’t actually the blog itself, but Mimi’s comment that got my nerve going. Read on…

I have been having many conversations with friends of mine about what the second half holds. The key perhaps is in re-defining one’s understanding of the concept of ‘doing’ – turning that energy inward and valuing it as much as one valued all those years of externalized effort. Some thoughts for this morning…

The subject of the blog was about aging, a conversation I was also having recently with a dear friend. Calm down we weren’t discussing nursing homes, if fact it was the polar opposite. There were a number of things that brought this subject to the surface, especially our looming “Special Birthdays.” One has already been celebrated, but I must wait with bated breath until February to celebrate mine. 

Mimi made a wonderful point in her response to my comment. She said, “I think some of us are just at the age where we realize that we need to move not just to another chapter, but perhaps another story entirely.” Reading Mimi is like having my own personal Yoda around for a daily dose of wisdom. Shit! I hope she doesn’t bill me. 

Her words immediately had me thinking about all the chapters and several stories in my own life. We all start out with the same story “New Beginnings” , but the rest, well … they’re on us. I decided to compile a Cliff Note version of some of the more noteworthy stories/chapters of my life. 

  • Mommy, Will You Marry Me?:  When I was my sister/best friend had to go to school and leave me ALL day. In that moment I vowed to marry my mommy. That’s right I had amazing sense even at 4. I knew this woman was the best thing that ever happened to me and damn it I wasn’t going to let her get away. We had two wonderful years alone together before I had to join my sister at school, but I never forgot how special I felt as we watched Pixanne and I proposed. 
  • Catholic School or Scarred For Life:  I think it’s safe to say these two go hand in hand. I didn’t have a chance between following in my over achieving sister’s shoes, constantly being reminded about it every time I entered a classroom and being the emotional punching bag for a group of bitter, sex suppressed woman a/k/a nuns. This may come as a surprise, but I really didn’t enjoy school…can’t imagine why. This story lasted 12 long years! 
  • Love Goggles:  Over the years this story has also been referred to as “What The Fuck Was I Thinking?” and What The Fuck Were You Thinking?” on more than one occasion. I fell hard at 16, sealed the deal at 21 and ended the farce at 23. This story lasted close to 8 years! This was more like a series of short stories that always ended with a clear lesson for the readers, however the author was somewhat of a resistant learner who tightened her love goggles to the point of blindness and missed her own lessons.
  • Cupid To The OR … Stat!: This is one of my favorite stories. Cupid certainly had his hands full with me. I walked around with my heart on my sleeve for all to see and when I fell, I fell hard. I went from doormat to a wall to wall carpet while in this relationship, so Cupid had to really push the envelope for me to open my eyes. The procedure took place over a holiday weekend in 1988. Cupid scrubbed up and prepared to surgically remove my “Love Goggles.” He led me right to my bedroom where I saw my husband in bed with another woman…**BAM** they flew right off and I never looked back. There are times when extreme measures are necessary, this was one of those times. 
  • Love, Marriage & Baby Carriages:  After a few years of recovery from my procedure, Cupid put my name on another arrow. This time he dulled the point just enough for me to recognize what true love was all about. After 22 years and 2 great kids later I can say “Thank you Cupid, thank you very much.” This story is still going strong with new chapters being written every day.
  • Lisa, Is That You?:  Considering the amount of years I spent answering to Mommy, Mom, Momma, Momma Bear, Emily’s Mom, Zac’s Mom and Yo Mom, it’s no wonder that LISA was put on the back burner alongside her underwear. That’s right folks, her underwear! Those cotton sacrificial lambs that went YEARS not being replaced because “Mommy” had to make sure the little asses of her offspring were covered first with their latest cartoon character obsession. Oh, how their big smiles over Rug Rat briefs made me forget all about the missing elastic on my own panties. Until the next Chapter…
  • MOM! You’re Fired!:  Talk about not seeing the warning signs of this happening. I went from “Employee of the Year” to the unemployment line overnight.  All my loyal service and they left me in the dust…with semi worn underwear.  Of course they still “need” me, just not nearly as much. I’m proud of the young adults they have become, but I am a nurturer, so I missed shelling out the love, until I realized I had been neglecting the one person who needed my love more than anyone else…ME.
  • Who Loves Ya Baby?:  It took a few years of therapy, an extreme panic attack, a good honest look in the mirror and the big 50 on the horizon for me to realize that Lisa was overdue for some much-needed loving. Here I am challenging my mind, body & soul in ways that I never thought possible. I am physically seeing changes that make me proud of my accomplishments. I am participating at my Quaker Meeting in ways that enable me to walk the talk and feed my soul, but most of all, I am realizing that I am able to take pride in being whoever the hell I want to be. 

Untitled:  I’m not sure where I’m headed, but I know I’m going in the right direction and with a lot less baggage. You may want to brush off your sunglasses and be prepared to squint, I have a feeling I’m going to be giving off quite a glow.

 Remember, if you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave and Enjoy the Ride! 

Breath of Fresh Air

983687_10151944185943508_1118236942_nWell, well, well, I bet you didn’t know I’ve been on vacation all week. Oh wait, correction, my boss has been on vacation all week and the office is closed, so I’ve been home. Not quite the same, but still not at work.

I must say in all my years I have never been so excited about not going to work for a week. This is not a good thing for me. 

Our office has always been a pleasant, humorous environment, one that I actually enjoyed going to every day. Now, well, not so much. The climate has changed and something tells me global warming can’t be blamed for this one. Unpredictable, unstable & unhappy.

These changes have a huge effect on me, especially my wellbeing. You see, I am what is considered a highly sensitive person. No, not someone who walks around crying on a whim, but one that becomes physically responsive to their surrounding. All this negative bull shit has been taking a toll on my mind & body.

Toxic energy has a way of sucking the good right out of us…not to mention it’s highly contagious. I’ve been sluggish, over weight, unmotivated and unhappy for well over a year now and too think it actually took being home for a week for me c45a70964e8c0e0762b9cee7a5f5fd92to see this clearly, is both remarkable and a tad bit sad. It’s amazing what breathing a little fresh air can do … umm hmm.

My week has been spent being me. No keeping my P’s & Q’s in check! No walking on egg shells! No hiding my true self! Whoot! 

Oh sure I could have sat around catching up on my reading while relaxing on my deck, but a big fat heat wave axed that idea real quick. Philadelphia went from OMG on Monday to WTF  by Friday, which didn’t leave much room for R&R outdoors. Soggy & Sweaty where the only things happening outside! 

Things really do happen for a reason though, this heat wave kept me grounded. It provided me with a week that was nothing short of refreshing and rejuvenating to my body, mind and soul. The week kicked off by visiting some family that we haven’t seen in way too long, which really got my rejuvenation juices flowing. After that burst of goodness, I just poured myself into my home, family and myself all week. Slaying toxins one negative vibe at a time with my loving self.

3a11655590da9bb3f421a4fb2c70def0My house is clean, organized, covered in love…and Lysol. My daughter had a healthy lunch waiting for her every day when she came home from job number one, so she could go off to job number two nourished with food and a big ole dash of momma love. My son, who was working outside all week in the fires of hell, welcomed his frozen water bottles and dinner on the table every night and my hubby, well, his statement summed it up “Hon, I think you should quit your job.” I knocked the pearls right off of June freaking Cleaver yo! 

The vacation or good ole days are coming to a close and it’s back to reality tomorrow, but not before a BBQ with my hubby’s siblings to welcome his sister who is visiting us from Maine.  So far it’s been great catching up with all that is new in our lives, reminiscing on the younger years and talking about the future. Live…Laugh…Love. 

So as I head back to the salt mines office tomorrow, I will be bringing something very special with me … myself. Let’s hope she makes it through the day! 

Go get your happy on and Enjoy the Ride! 

Why The Hell Not!

Daily Prompt: We Can Be Taught!

Tell us a moment or an incident that you treasure  – not necessarily because it brought you happiness, but because it taught you something about yourself.

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This says it ALL!

I have spent the majority of my life in self-doubt. What can I say, not everyone is blessed with the ability to ooze confidence from every pore. I must have stepped out of line when it was being distributed. 

This weakness was nourished in my house and reinforced throughout my school years. Let’s just say I could totally relate to Jan Brady … Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!  So there I was, without an ounce of effort, neatly placed in the shadow of my older sibling. I was cool and comfortable with no reason to face the heat.

When I look back, I realize that I did step out into the light on more than one occasion, but didn’t even take a minute to put on my sunglasses. I chose to squint and hurry back to that shady spot.

Over the years, I had the pleasure of being in the presence of some very good people, who e292942b42405e44e50427246ff40ef0little by little enforced my confidence, but none more so than my children. They allowed me to see the sun when that’s all I was able to see were the clouds. Hey, they thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread because I knew how to tie my own shoes!

But unfortunately there were also those who just loved to remind me of my weaknesses, especially myself, which left me overvaluing my lack of confidence and undervaluing my badassness, until one day when I was suddenly forced to unleash all of me on the world. An emotional Tsunami if you will. 

e01a52304a6b2324398a3fb884910b35I was faced with fighting a battle on behalf of my daughter, after quietly being told  by the school psychologist (we will be using that term very lightly) “Mrs. G. your daughter will NEVER go to college.”  

Her educational future was as stake and no one was going to take that away….willingly. My daughter believed I could do anything and lord knows I wasn’t going to let her down. Have no fear…Underdog a/k/a Mom is here! 

Although I gave myself permission to spend a good amount of time silently sitting in the shadows, no one was going to force my daughter to do the same…she deserved the opportunity to shine and someone else’s low standards of her abilities were not going to stand in her way. Do not Ef with my cubs!  

So there it was, bigger than life…the LESSON.  Up until this point I spent my life believing that being the underdog was a FAULT and all along it was a GIFT.  Never underestimate the quiet one sitting in the shadow, our sparkle is contagious. 

Indeed it does Mr. Mandela, indeed it does.

Indeed it does Mr. Mandela, indeed it does.

I will always treasure that time in my life, not because of winning the battle although it felt pretty good, but because of the look on my daughter’s face when we went on our first college tour. Priceless!  

We were walking on the campus of Lebanon Valley College, on a sunny freezing cold day, when she just stopped in the quad and said “Mom, I can really see myself here.”  There it was, smack in my face, my daughter was shining in her own light. I just put my shades on and thought damn straight you can…Why the Hell Not! 

I am proud to say that this Fall she will be entering her junior year … still shining strong.

Never let anyone dull your sparkle … Enjoy the Ride! 

Big Ole Lump of Love

Daily Prompt: Take Two

Run outside. Take a picture of the first thing you see. Run inside. Take a picture of the second thing you see. Write about the connection between these two random objects, people, or scenes.

IMG_0999I for one am not surprised that a Fancy Tree Rat Squirell is the first thing I laid my eyes on when heading outdoors this morning. This little fella is only one of the thousands that seem to be invading our area this year. For some unknown reason we have been inundated with these little creatures in our neighborhood. I’m not really feeling blessed by this at all.

They spend their days running around in circles accomplishing nothing in the processIt’s really annoying to witness. I think I’ve worked with people who were clearly squirrels in another life. They spend their days being busy trying to look busier than everyone else. ADHD x’s 1000 and always an epic fail.

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When I came inside this is the first thing I saw. A big ole lump of love a/k/a Chester. Not a care in the world. True bliss with a tail. You won’t see him running in circles for no reason. When Chester does something, he does it with a purpose. If you ever saw him watch a stew cooking you would understand that statement.

He sleeps,walks, eats, sleeps, walks, sleeps again, walks, poops, sleeps again, eats, walks, poops and sleeps until it all starts over again. This little that is being used loosely guy lives a very simple life. There is something to be said about living the life you love.

THE CONNECTION: The behavior of these two animals sends a very clear message, well to me any way. In the end what do we all really long to be? Rich…Famous…Happy. Of course it would be nice to have all three, but if we’re being realistic I’ll go with Happy. Believe me I know having a solid bank account might make things easier, but does it bring you happiness? No. I’ve come across some miserable rich fucks folks in my day. 

So you have a choice, you can either run around in circles chasing that next whatever it may be that you think will make you happy or you can take a good look inside yourself, ask “What really makes me happy?”  Give yourself some good solid answers and apply some energy in that direction. It’s not nearly as difficult as we make it out to be.

Let’s face it, not everyone is born with a sunny disposition, but I think we can all agree that we have the ability to learn how to bring more meaning and satisfaction into our lives. Happiness is contagious…spread some around.

Stop glorifying busy. Slow the hell down. Find your happy and Enjoy the Ride!

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