Tag Archives: Humor life

Share Your World November 28

Pensitivity 101

1. Do you have any family traditions?

Not really. Do we do certain things and eat certain foods? Absolutely. I wouldn’t say they are set in stone. As we aged and our children aged, the traditions were tweaked. We always took them to a light show in our area. Over the years, it has grown into somewhat of an extravaganza with a price tag to match.

Now, my “children” are full-grown adults, yet they still inquire about going to the light show. Of course, we oblige and now include pets and significant others because the price has jacked up to 50 bucks a carload, and you better believe my car will be loaded.

2. With December on its way, have you ever been carol singing?

When I was a kid, doing kid things in the 70s, a group of friends decided to go caroling one night when we were bored. We had a grand plan to go door to door singing the classics like Jingle Bells, and like the good Catholic kids we were, donate the fruit from our labor to the church.

We hit the jackpot when we knocked on the door where a Christmas house party was in full swing. A tipsy dad answered, we sang, and he yelled for more tipsy parents to join him like we were the Tabernacle Choir on the front step, and the cash started flowing.

Well, all I’m going to say is once that fruit started pouring in, all thoughts of being good Catholics went right out the door. Hey, we were kids and suddenly rich.

3. Do you decorate your home for the Christmas holidays?

I sure do. This will be our first Christmas in our new home, so I need to make some adjustments. Over the weekend, I decorated the outside, and my creative juice flowed like a river. I was able to upcycle some pieces from the past and put a new twist on them, which worked out very well.

4. Do you enjoy the Christmas rush for preparations and shopping?

I do not like the rush or pressure of going shopping. Christmas should not be filled with unnecessary anxiety.

Question Time Over Coffee 25th November

I stumbled across Rory’s questions this week and thought I’d give it a shot. I always wanted to be a guest on The Late Show or any talk show that would have me, for that matter. However, that doesn’t look like something that may happen, so it’s good that Rory provided this opportunity.

You have a dinner party and may invite four guests from the following categories one fictional, one dead, and one alive, and a naked chef [wearing an apron only but no clothes underneath – or if you wish, for whatever reason, your chef can be wearing underclothes – pants/top].

Who will you invite to eat, and who will you ask to cook for your dinner party?

Ok, let me see now because these lists would typically be long, and narrowing it down to one of each takes some thought.

Tony Soprano, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Melissa McCarthy, and Michael Symon.

If nothing else, lord knows this room would be loud and passionate. I would like to listen to Tony and Ruth discuss justice since they have, shall we say, different techniques. Melissa McCarthy is a quick wit which makes me laugh out loud. It would be fun to watch her moderate the Tony and Ruth debate. As for kitchen duty, I chose Michael because he is passionate about food. He is animated in the kitchen, so he probably should be wearing something for protection, but I’ll leave it up to him.


Inspired by I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! 
Have you ever slept on/in a hammock?

That would be a no.
Do you find it easy to maintain friendships with other people?

Yes. However, it’s usually because of the effort I apply.
Are you a person of ethics?

Yes.

If so, how does that impact your daily life?

Have you seen the world lately? Indeed it does.
Are you decisive or indecisive as a person?

It depends on the question. Do you want a piece of cake? I’m very decisive. Do you want to take off tomorrow for an adventure? A million things immediately rush into my brain.
Why do people hold double standards?

Because they lack the ability to look at situations with the greater good in mind. People of power are the masters of double standards.


Inspired by Kristian and That Really Burns my Biscuits #10
What is your unhealthiest but guiltiest pleasure, and why?

Hands down binge watching mindless television because sometimes you just need to be numb.
What is your process for writing a new post for your blog?

Going out in the world and engaging with people. Human contact makes the best stories.
If you were asked to create a Top Fifteen Book List holding books that you felt everyone should read at least once in their life and would never regret reading, what titles would you include?

The Four Agreements
All of David Sedaris’s books.
Autobiographies or memoirs that were written by someone you admire.
Goodnight Moon
All of Anne Lamon’s books.
Poems by Maya Angelou
A Boy, the Mule, a Fox and the Horse
A Gift from the Sea

How important is it for you to know a person’s real name?

It never occurred to me, so I would say it’s unimportant.

[Be this online, offline, social media, or blogging]
When at school, what were your top five subjects that you were passionate about?

5?! English, gym, lunch, art, music

Why was this – what did you love about them?


They were not as restricted as the other subjects.

Are those five subjects still present in your life today in any form?


Hahaha, yes, especially gym, lunch, art, and music.
With regard to the paranormal, do you choose to not believe because there is nothing to believe or because you feel it is safer to not believe?

I’m a believer to the fullest extent of believing.

Are you a non-believer or a believer? Same as above
How are you with meeting strangers/new people who might or could become new friends?

I’m a professional people meeter and friend maker.

Is there a process you adopt to identify if they are the right fit for you?


Yes. They must have a sense of humor and the ability to hold a deep conversation.

Today, The World Is A Better Place

We’ve been waiting most of the year for this! Oh no, not the day spent enjoying delicious food in the company of those we love most in the world. Not to say this isn’t nice.

I’m talking about the birth of my very first grandchild. Drum roll, please …

Little Miss. Olivia Marie arrived on 11-23-22 at 4:00 a.m., weighing 7lbs 12 oz and 20 inches long. Immediately making this world a better place. Yesterday, If you thought, wow, the sun seems just a little brighter, you know why.

Mommy, Daddy, and Olivia are all happy, healthy, and anxiously waiting to go home to big brother Calvin. He has paws.

I did learn quite a bit more about my son over the past few days. The most evident is he did not, I repeat, did not pay attention in any form of a health education class. Ever.

Whew! His ADHD was front and center on Monday night when I inquired if mommy was dilated, and he responded, “what does that mean?” I can hear your gasps.

I made the mistake of asking again on Tuesday afternoon when he informed me she had contractions and received an epidural.

Me: Any word on how dilated she is?

Daddy: I told you, I don’t know.

Me: I know, but that was yesterday, and now she’s having contractions.

Daddy: I’m not asking. I was already yelled at for yawning.

That seems about right.

Me: Have you heard the words 2, 3, or 4 centimeters come out of the mouth of any medical professionals in the room?

Daddy: Oh yeah, she was 2 centimeters a few hours ago.

Still giving me gray hairs.

The rest of the day was spent jumping every time my phone notified me of a message. I am officially a trained rat.

Hours passed without a word. So, this soon-to-be grandmother, and not a pushy mother, assumed the silence meant things were progressing nicely and I would hear any minute. What’s that saying about assuming? Yeah.

I finally received a text around 9:00 p.m. that went like this:

Daddy: Every movie ever made with a birth scene is a LIE.

Me: For the record, so are the death scenes and crime solving.

Daddy: My back is killing me from this chair. The food is awful, and I can’t sleep.

Someone, hold my glass; it’s about to go down.

Me: Have you said any of this out loud in the room?

Daddy: I’m not on a death wish.

Me: How is mommy?

Daddy: She’s doing good, uncomfortable, but good.

Me: Great! Be patient; I know it’s difficult for you. Once Olivia arrives, you’ll forget about all of this.

Daddy: I will never forget this concrete slab they call a bed. I love you!

Me: I love you too!

I don’t have a concrete slab for a bed and still didn’t sleep wondering how things were progressing. I woke up at 4:30, jumping out of my skin to send a text.

Me: Is everything ok?

Daddy: Yes, her water broke at 1:30, and Olivia arrived at 4:00 a.m.

My phone rang with a Facetime call, and by 4:34, I was looking at my wide-eyed granddaughter after just 34 minutes of entering this world. She was nestled in her mother’s arms while my son gushed with joy. Clueless at how lucky he is lucky to be alive.

I have a lot to be grateful for each and every day. Including this Thanksgiving that looks much different than the ones pre Covid when my house was busting at the seams, with loved ones, food, and laughter.

This year it’s the hubby and me going for a morning walk, maybe on the beach, enjoying an early dinner at our table for two, and heading out to meet our first grandchild for the first time. The bar has risen!

Enjoy the Ride like it’s Thanksgiving every day.

Gobble Gobble.

What In The What?

One of my early childhood dreams was to be a mailman. I say “mailman” because when I was a kid, women were busy being housewives. We did not have “carriers”; we had “men.”

To this day, I can’t explain my attraction to this career path, but if I were to guess, it was probably all of the “hello, how ya doings?” Everyone loved to see him heading down the street.

What was not to love? He was the bearer of cards celebrating special occasions, letters from loved ones, and an occasional check. A celebrity every day.

Don’t get me started on the idle chitchat with folks on the route or an unplanned life-saving event due to mail piling up and actually noticing. I do this now for free.

We’re not going to discuss the bills; they were a given.

I was probably deterred by the rain, snow, and sleet motto, only to find out when writing this essay that it was all a LIE.

The U.S. Postal Service has no official motto. Nope, it’s not this: “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” But we certainly appreciate the sentiment.

US Postal Service

No doubt I heard “gloom of night” and said, “I’m out!”

Anyway, fast forward to yesterday when I went to the post office to mail a package containing a book. The book recipient informed me of a book rate that cuts the shipping cost. Who knew? Not me.

However, I was not informed then that an FBI-like interrogation went along with using this discounted rate. Folks, there is always a damn price to pay!

As always, I waited in line for the lone over-worked employee to address me.

Me: I want to mail this box at the book rate, please.

Overworked employee: Is there a book in the box?

Me: Yes

OE: Is there anything else in the box?

Me: No

OE: Is there a card in the box?

Me: No

OE: A letter?

Me: Um, no.

OE: Chocolate?

Me: There’snothing else in the box.

OE: Ok, fine. Can I get you anything else?

Me: Yes, can I get two books of Christmas stamps?

OE: Which ones?

Me: Not the religious ones, the other ones.

OE: The Elves or the Otters?

Me: One of each, please.

OE: You know they’re brown?

Me: What’sbrown?

OE: The Elves.

Me: (Looking at the stamps.) They’re Elves.

OE: Yeah, but they’re brown.

Me: Elves aren’t real.

OE: I know; I’m just saying they’re brown.

Me: So are the Otters.

I got my tracking receipt, turned around to leave, looked into the dead stares of a long line of people, and went my merry way. What in the what?

Enjoy the Ride!

Knock, knock

I had quite the encounter this week at work. It was love at first site. No, my husband shouldn’t be concerned, well maybe a little.

The door opened mysteriously. I didn’t see anyone at first, but then a tiny hand appeared on the window. I had to get up and look down to realize the cutest little boy trying to get my attention.

When I opened the window, I was greeted by, “Hi, my name is Merrick, my birthday is January 13th, and I’m 5 years old. He really did have me at hello.

He presented himself with purpose and eyelashes for miles, quickly capturing my attention.

Considering his excess energy, we had the pleasure of keeping him busy while his mother was taking care of business. A dream come true for me.

It turned out that little Merrick is an aspiring entertainer, stand-up comedian to be exact, and he hit the jackpot because I am the perfect audience.

The show started after we drew a dinosaur and colored it with what I thought was a green crayon. However, I was corrected and informed that it was, in fact, asparagus, followed by an introduction to the spinach and celery crayons in the box. Alrighty then …

Showtime for me began when he signed our artwork with “Poop” in all capital letters. I asked, “Is Poop your artistic alter ego?” I don’t think he heard anything other than “poop.” Unless the big laugh that followed was a yes.

Boys and the joy they get from saying, writing, and hearing the word poop remains a mystery.

Once he started his set of knock, knock jokes, there was no stopping him. At one point, I thought I was watching a blooper reel. He could not keep it together to deliver the punchline, but in reality, that was the best part of the show. Robin Williams reincarnated.

I’ll leave you with one he closed the show with before his mother came to collect him.

Who’s there?

Knock, knock

Who

Who, who?

What are you, an owl? Falling off the chair, grasping for air from laughing.

Merrick was much more than an aspiring comedian; he was a reminder that life is too short not to stop and appreciate the joyful innocence of a knock, knock joke,

Enjoy the Ride!

The Show Must Go On

Just sitting here pondering about life. Concluding that, if nothing else, it’s engaging as we navigate through our individual and collective journeys. I say collective because we’re in this together. Who’s crossing your path today, and why?

Have you ever viewed life as a movie with yourself as both the writer and star? I have.

Of course, there will be significant co-stars. At the same time, God, the universe, creator, or whatever term you refer to as a higher power is trying to direct scenes that include, I don’t know, millions of extras and a storyline that changes daily. Spielberg gave it a hard no.

It all started when I began recognizing a pattern of who I was attracting onto my set. Yes, we’re sticking to the movie theme here. My awareness heightened when someone or something got under my skin. Ugh, what is it? Why are you so f@#$ing annoying?

The answer is simple and complicated. Oh, you thought it would be easy too?

Remember the millions of extras and those co-stars? Well, they play crucial roles in our stories, some more than others, but they’re all critical in their own way. It’s no accident they auditioned.

It doesn’t matter if it’s the disgruntled cashier, a family member, a boss, or someone in between. If they show up, I ask myself whether they’ve been cast as my mirror, a messenger, or a teacher. A memo from the director would be nice; just saying.

The other plot twist to remember is that everyone you encounter is also starring in their own movie. What could possibly go wrong? Without ever being in Hollywood, I think it’s safe to say things can go wry when too many stars are on the stage. Why? Well

We’re all walking around the studio lot we call this world with unhealed wounds while our particular audiences sling salt at them daily, provoking us to choose between reacting or learning. It’s not a Hallmark movie out there, folks.

So far, I’ve realized that our movies do not include stunt people, which is sometimes unfortunate but necessary if we want that blockbuster; we have to feel the bumps along the way. They don’t call it growing pains for anything.

Another important lesson learned is improvising or using our free will during production makes it very difficult for the director to navigate the script. Ego is always trying to steal the show.

So, until we allow the spotlight to shine on us with certainty, the problematic scenes in our movie will play on a loop until we decide to heal or learn. It’s all about the light.

This perspective has allowed me to view my movie more transparently and ask the director for guidance; this has led me on a path to winning the Best Picture award.

Enjoy the Ride!

Innocence In Motion

We headed over to the beach on Sunday. I was on the fence about going since the heat index was over 100, and lord knows we wouldn’t be alone. In the end, I packed up and headed out.

The next decision was which beach would be worthy of our chairs. We decided on the McBride Beach Bath House in Cape Henlopen State Park. This was named after Senator David McBride, who served in the General Assembly for 42 years. I don’t know; maybe that warrants his name on a beach.

Anyway, this area was beautiful and occupied by families. Young, old, and, in between, enjoying their vacation. Making memories.

I’m not going to lie. I was not jealous when I saw them schlepping all that gear across the sand. I served my time in the beach schlepping department. Now it’s just me and my chair.

To date, we’ve visited The Point and Gordons Pond beaches, where dogs definitely outnumbered children. Both of these areas have a different vibe. More of a just let me sit and enjoy the beach crowd. I’m grateful to have these options.

After 5 minutes and a toddler showing me his sand-covered spiderman, I knew we had made the right decision. I’ve been missing my adult children recently; this was just what my heart needed. Being in the presence of children brings joy to my soul.

We sat and watched sandcastles and motes constructed by the young fathers. At the same time, the mothers organized sandwiches and applied sunscreen to the children, who were excitedly running back and forth at the water’s edge. It was like being transported back in time.

My little spiderman buddy was busy being busy. I was getting tired just watching him running back and forth. His grandparents brought him to the beach to celebrate his 3rd birthday, and celebrate he did in a total 3-year-old fashion. Dinosaur bathing trunks, bucket hat, and more energy than all of us.

No doubt his grandparents slept well that night!

We moved our chairs closer to the water, which turned into a stage for two little beach angels. Out of nowhere, two little girls, tiny, with diapers peaking out of their bottoms, started dancing on the wet sand. One with wild curly hair and big blue eyes, the other in a leopard bathing suit, a white sun hat, and white hair to match, were dancing in circles like they were at Woodstock. Innocence in motion.

Watching the innocence of children forces you to take a step back from yourself and Enjoy the Ride.

There Goes That News Van

6abc Action News – WPVI Philadelphia

Well, it has finally happened. The moving blues might be settling in over here. I must confess that I miss my Local Newscasters, Meteorologists, and network. A LOT!

I have been watching WPVI, Channel 6 ABC, my entire life, so it’s a big deal to start watching other anchor people at this stage of the game. I feel like I’m cheating.

This isn’t a new feeling, but unfortunately, it’s a permanent one this time around. While on vacation, I was often left with that UGH feeling while watching local news channels. But then I got to go home, where my cool newscasters lived!

Maybe it’s just culture shock. Just thinking out loud.

I’m accustomed to the daily morning banter between the news desk, weather, and traffic reporters. They were the perfect four to send me off into the day. Not to mention easy on the eyes and fashionable.

Not that I want to be judgy Judy over here, but dear lord, stop giving me so much ammunition. All I’m going to say is I may never watch another weather report in my life. Dramatic? Well, a little.

Now, I’m not yearning for negative news, but there needs to be a gentle transition from overnight shootings directly to hampster rescues being “Big Stories.” A robbery? An accident? Throw me a bone.

If I heard this story once, I heard it 20 times in the course of the morning news. Along with the other “big” story regarding the opening of a Lavender Farm. This was day one.

Honestly, though, I can’t imagine the words “murder” or “shooting” coming out of the 16-year-old news anchor’s mouth. She was definitely hampster rescue appropriate and cute as a button.

After scanning around the other channels, which is another challenge that frankly requires a YouTube tutorial, I located a group that I might, just might, be able to tolerate. How is ABC not ABC just two hours down the road?

One thing that is holding me back from a true commitment is the anchorman’s name. I know it must sound petty, but is it? His name, you ask, is Jimmy Hoppa. See!

How often has he been asked, “did you say, Hoffa?” I don’t know whether to laugh or be impressed. So far, laughter is winning.

The silver lining is I have no idea what is going on in the world. Not a damn thing! But I know where to take unwanted hampsters and find lavender soap if anyone is interested. Hit me up.

I’ll be depending on my fellow bloggers to fill me in on important news like a meteor heading to earth, a mass awakening in D.C., empty seats on a UFO, or if something other than a hampster rescue needs my attention. Please write about it before the WiFi goes out.

Enjoy the Ride!

Small World

Photo by NOHK on Pexels.com

“It’s a small world.” How many times have you heard this in your lifetime? I remember my parents saying it and thinking, “What are you talking about?” Now, here I am saying it at least twice a week! It’s official, I’m my parents.

The community had a huge yard sale on Friday and Saturday at the new abode. According to the neighbors, this is a twice-a-year function that is heavily advertised and equally as popular. Perfect timing for this professional box unpacker.

The weather was damp and rainy, but that did not stop the crowds. Yes, crowds. I made a good chunk of change selling crap left by the previous owners and some of my own crap. I’m very close to getting a “less is more” tattoo or t-shirt.

This lovely couple, Frank and Joanne, stopped by to browse yesterday. There was an instant connection. They had a good sense of humor, especially Frank’s quick wit. People could have been shoplifting, and I wouldn’t have noticed.

As we were exchanging backstories of how the hell we wound up in Lewes, DE, Joanne was surprised to learn that I had never vacationed in this area. I explained I’m a Jersey Shore girl, Ocean City. NJ, to be exact. Her parents lived in Ocean City, NJ.

I explained that my husband was familiar with this area through his job, and my only introduction was when we looked at this house. Now she is intrigued.

Joanne, “How do you just move to a place you’ve never been to?”

Me, “I don’t know, but here I am.”

Frank, “Wow, there’s more than one!”

Me, “You know someone else who just packed up to Lewes?”

Joanne, “Yes, our dear friend from college. She just called me one day and told me her boys were all out of the house; they sold their home in Villanova and bought a place in Lewes.”

Frank, “I asked her if she bought it on Amazon because she never asked us to check it out or inquired about the area.”

Joanne, “We couldn’t believe they made such a big purchase without a second thought.”

Me, “I looked at Frank’s Mount St. Mary College sweatshirt while Villanova and boys ran through my mind when I asked, wait a minute, what is your friend’s name?”

Joanne, “Marie _______ _______.”

Me, “WHAT!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

Frank, “You know Marie?”

Me, “Yes, we were paralegals together back in the day and work besties.”

All of us, “OMG! It’s such a small world!” Along with laughter.

Frank takes out his phone, captures a photo of the three of us, and sends it to Marie.

We are all meeting for Happy Hour on Friday!

Enjoy the Ride!

What’s Your Back Story?

Things are coming together nicely here at the new abode. Setting things up to make it our own. Incorporating some memories of the past with our new upcycled purchases. Facebook Marketplace is my new bestie.

I love the idea that our decor has a back story. Our Ethan Allen dining room set was formally residing in a “home” with a regulation-sized basketball court INSIDE next to the movie theatre. Oh, yeah, that was an, let’s just say, interesting transaction.

Susan, the woman selling this piece, interrogated me online like an FBI agent. I finally had to tell her that we are a middle-aged couple who are too tired to commit a crime, clean it up or run from it. Seriously, Susan!

When we arrived, she answered the door with her phone in her hand, air pods in her ears, and more than once, let us know that her husband was listening to the conversation. If fear were a person …

Once we passed her test, she started pushing other items for sale on us. Bye, Susan, bye-bye.

Needless to say, that experience left a mark, but humanity was restored when I hit the jackpot on a gorgeous 2-year-old retractable canvas awning to shade our enormous deck. I need to enjoy the deck, not fry eggs on it.

Anna had the most beautiful beachfront home in North Jersey and a heart to match. She was handing over this $14,000 plus awning, in mint condition, for a mere $700.00, and she threw in the custom-made cover to boot. She was no Susan, that’s for sure.

Maybe the salt air, her Italian heritage, or both made her so generous. All I know is Anna’s house was right out of Architectural Digest, and it was warm, welcoming, and filled with love. Her only request was a photo of us relaxing under the awning.

Next up, we needed some headboards. One, because we upgraded to a King mattress and handed the sleigh bed over to our son, and two, we now have extra bedrooms for when the kiddies visit. They better visit!

Once again, the Marketplace came through like a genie granting wishes. For $150 bucks, we landed two, like new, Ethan Allen twin headboards that match our existing dresser perfectly. The owner had them stored at Sprinkles, their ice cream shop, and gave us a cone of our choice on the house with the purchase. What more could we ask for at this point?

Well, I’m gonna tell ya. We still needed the king-sized headboard. The challenge was getting one that matched our cherry wood set without looking too Ralph Laurenish at our new beach location. Are you with me?

Just when I thought this would be an issue, Lauren, a young woman with a great sense of humor, posted the PERFECT piece for $100. She was posting for her mom Lisa, who we concluded was a fantastic person based on her name. Yes, my name is Lisa, so I know this to be true.

Today we are on our way to pick up yet another Ethan Allen piece. It is a beautiful cabinet, with a hidden desk for all our electronic devices/crap that we don’t want to expose. Amen!

This beauty has been for sale for four weeks. It is the last piece standing in a sold home that must be gone by tomorrow. Can you say deal of a lifetime?

I love the idea of second chances, backstories, and new beginnings, whether furniture or lifestyles; we can all Enjoy the Ride more than once.

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