Lone Cheetos

I recently wrote about three of patients, that in spite of their age, are living vital active lives and they aren’t afraid to share their wisdom amongst the masses on the importance of doing just that. When Harry, Norman & Robert Met Lisa

The jury is still out on what has been happening since that essay. Is it coincidence, a conspiracy, my vivid imagination? Or all of the above.

While food shopping, a clerk who has never uttered a single word to me before, suddenly starts discussing the downside of growing older …. with ME …. as if we were one. My cart was not filled with adult diapers so back it up lady.

Just when I thought I was safe, my neighbor approaches to strike up a conversation about bones. Pointing out how “our” bones aren’t the same when “we” get older. My bones are cool thank you very much.

It’s now obvious to me that once the post office realizes you’ve turned the big 50, your regular mailman is replaced with the Grim Reaper. When death starts to moonlight … I can’t.

The amount of geriatric mail that enters my mailbox is ridiculous. Yesterday I received a pamphlet from the Sunny Hill Crematory.  Seriously now!  I’ll assume the Victoria Secret catalogs are now being placed in those younger, more attractive mailboxes down the street.

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Not me!

AARP has literally hijacked my mailbox with their paraphernalia. The amount of literature is equal to political ads.  I’m only 2 years in bitch, save your stamps!

Back in the day the Grim Reaper kept his distance, giving nature a chance to take its course. Sooooo …. WTF happened? Why the constant notification? What’s the rush to the grave?

To put this in perspective, at my current age, my parents were working, functioning adults with active lives. My dad was 57 when I was born for god sakes, so I wasn’t even thought of when he was 52. Let that fester for a minute AARP!

It’s as if society is pushing us closer to the cliffs edge to make room for the newer improved models. We’re not cell phones, so calm your jets!

No one is spared really. I see this rush is across the board. While adults are being pushed into the grave at 50, the poor 10 year olds are being thrown into adulthood. I was basically in a playpen at 10 compared to kids today.

12cb7d4dfb89c81065f453e7c82a94a7I know, I know, I must sound very geriatric right now comparing generations, but it’s more than a “back when I was a kid” comparison.  I’m not that girl … I’m really not.

It’s just that when it comes to aging, society has become an aggressive seagull and I’m starting to feel like a lone Cheeto waiting to be swiped up by its talons. Back it up!

Don’t get me wrong, my inner geriatric has raised its snow-capped head for brief appearances, but I’m still young enough to shove it right back in the closet. Hey, those skeletons need some company. 

I’m not trying to be a teenager here folks, I’m just trying to age gracefully while I continue to … Enjoy the Ride!

 

 

25 responses

  1. Well Lisa, we may not be able to howl at the moon like we used to, but we can accomplish a great deal before others ever get up. Must be the vitamins. You go, rock star. Keith

  2. Since turning 60, I’ve been using sticks to get about having torn the cartilage in my knee. I already had great respect for the elderly and admiration for Hubby who is on them all the time, but I’m not ready for them! I want to be 59 forever!!

    1. If you want to be 59 forever, I grant you permission to move forward with that plan.

  3. I get a lot of email focused on makeup and stuff like that (which I rarely wear). I laugh especially hard when the anti-aging message is geared towards 20-30 year olds. Other than stay out of the sun, what else do they need? I didn’t use a moisturizer at that age because my face was greasy enough. Botox for someone in their 30s? I looked my best in my 40s! Either kids are aging physically faster or marketing has really kicked it up a notch. When I was a kid my Mom refused to take Geritol because it was marketed to “old people.”

    1. Your mom was smart!!! Emails are a whole other animal… it’s insane.

  4. Check out the New York Times story about a 100 year of woman who started running at 67. Inspirational.

    1. I need to hook up with her so we can burn our AARP paraphernalia together!

  5. LOL!!! I’m with ya Li Li. They are wasting their time and stamps on me too cause we have some livin to do! THere’s poison on this cheeto!

    1. The crematory was the final straw…seriously now.

  6. lololololol!!! I say the joke’s on them, Lisa, for wasting their time and money on the likes of us! xoxoM

  7. Now I will forever be thankful, Tops, that my mailboxes are filled with political crap and not age related crap.

  8. I’m (only) 57, but emotionally I’m not sure where I fit. I’m emotionally ready to retire, but financially, I’m still quite a few years off. My body sometimes hurts for no reason whatsoever. As old as I may seem from those aspects, I still have the sense of humor of a 12 year old.

    1. Keep laughing at farts Point…it keeps us young!

  9. Okay but check out those AARP discounts. Perfect for those romantic getaways you’re supposedly too old to enjoy now. So glad to read ‘our’ bones are just fine!

  10. You are hilarious! I’ve been insulted on several occasions when other, much older people, grouped me with them. I was like, What? See? I still talk like a teenager.

    1. Seriously! Like who do they think they’re talking to? Lol

  11. I’m here citing because Susie Lindau said you were awesome and you know what? I’m glad I did stopped by. The Lone Cheetoh. Ha! That had me rolling! And I know what you mean by AARP they’re sneaky the way they slip on in there. Nice post!

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