Photo by: Arhm Scrap
fade
fād/Submit
verb
past tense: faded; past participle: faded 1. gradually grow faint and disappear.
I know we all meet sorrow in our own way. For me, it’s looking for the silver lining. Much easier said than done, but hope is always doable.
At first, I thought I might have some sort of super powers. Somehow going about my daily routine like a badass. I went to work without missing a beat. I even went out socializing without a care in the world trying my best to squash the memories. Guess what? Even the baddest of asses have their moments.
For over a month now I’ve been trying very hard to kick my sorrow to the curb. I hosted Thanksgiving like a pilgrim! I channeled my inner Martha Stewart to deck the damn halls! I got all gussied up to attend an amazing Christmas party, and I’ve been working out as if I’m being considered for the Olympics! But guess what people? IT DOESN’T WORK!
When the family leaves, the work is done, the sweat is showered off, and I come home, do you know who is waiting? Yep, just like that annoying guest at the party who never seems to realize it’s time to hit the road …. sorrow is there to greet me with open arms. It’s really beginning to be a huge pain in the ass!
I’ve recently come to the conclusion that if sorrow is going to hang around for awhile, I need to do something about it. I think t’s time we become friends or form some sort of relationship. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m tired of fighting this weightlifter of an emotion.
Wait a minute, “friends” might be a little strong, maybe I’ll start with a roomie and work my way up to besties. I’m only human.
So, for now, it looks like I’ll be chillin with sorrow. I’ve set up some free space in my head so he can get cozy. Yes, sorrow is a man …. because I said so.
I must say since he’s been hanging around, I’ve been learning a lesson here and there about myself, so at least he’s earning his keep. If only he cleaned bathrooms.
Who knows next maybe he’ll show me how to be strong as him. Stranger things have happened…look who is our new prez.
Maybe he’ll even wine and dine me as he leads me to that silver lining. Where I can only imagine unicorns are running free.
Better yet … maybe one day I’ll be able to sit by a nice sunny window, sipping a hot cup of coffee, listening to Marvin Gaye while I watch all of this just fade away. Goals!
Enjoy the Ride!
Life With The Top Down 
*hugs*
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Always welcome ❤
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“Liking” this seems so wrong. But I have been there, more often than I would like to admit. And after fighting it for many years, I realized that I was losing it. Getting more upset than whatever the situation warranted. So beginning this past spring, I tried antidepressants, a very low dose. They didn’t change me, they just let me be back to being me. That includes times of sadness, frustration (hell, F’ing Trump is our next prez!) but I find myself able to cope.
Other times I have used professional counseling.
I know you’re facing some challenges. There are a lot of ways to get help. Don’t suffer. And keep writing which is fantastic therapy.
XXX
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Thanks Elyse! We should probably get some stock in that medication, something tells me it will be on the rise in the next four years. I have gone to therapy with my husband, which was very helpful. I’m in search of someone for me. He’s doing well, and that makes things easier…but not better.
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Yes. Stock in antidepressants and perhaps buying a vineyard. A lot of mind altering substances will be ingested in the next few years! Although, seriously, my mind isn’t altered on my med; I feel like I can handle things again, whereas I was, quite frankly, spinning out of control.
You’re going to get through this, no matter how you go about it. That, I’m sure of.
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I’m all up for the vineyard. I know I will!!
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It sounds trite, but keep busy! You do have friends, you know.
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Thank goodness for my bubbly personality and ability to talk to anything with a pulse.
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Hmmm… I don’t know how strong sorrow is, Lisa. He’s certainly tenacious and persistent. You strike me as pretty tenacious and persistent, too, my dear. One breath. One moment. One step at a time. 😉 xoxoM
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Indeed.
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XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX That’s all I have to say.
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That speaks volumes.
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I hate thinking of you, who’s such a joy to me, always cheering me up, so sad. I’m no stranger to melancholia…it’s been living with me my whole life, and when you said, you went about things…work, working out, going out, normally, that wasn’t such a bad thing. Acting as if is a great tool because quite often it takes you to the next plain. That doesn’t mean sorrow won’t come a callin again, but like you said, you’ll form some type of alliance where you understand each other till once again, she takes flight. A Thin girl’s two cents.
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❤
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Wish I were closer. I have been in the depression/melancholy state often and it is not fun. But, as we know seasons do pass and in the darkest of winters there is always some little crocus that defies it all and blooms. Hoping so much that this is a short season for you. That lessons that need to be learned will be learned quickly and that soon, that Top will be down and the wind will be flying through your hair once more, with all your cares flowing in the breeze. ❤ you, praying for you daily
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Can I get an Amen!
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Keep picturing that goal of being able to sit by a nice sunny window, sipping a hot cup of coffee, listening to Marvin Gaye while you watch all of this just fade away. It can happen. It will happen. Sending hugs and prayers your way and hoping 2017 is everything you need it to be.
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Sending positive vibes your way from Niagara Falls, old friend.
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this gave me goose bumps…kudos to u for dealing with it the way u did…
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Me too! Thanks for stopping by.
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