Adjectives Matter
In the last two weeks, we’ve had two shocking reports of deaths. You know, the ones that leave you saying, WHAT!? One was a young man by suicide, and the other was middle-aged who took a nap and never woke up. See what I mean?
While attending the first service, I noticed a common denominator: the room’s adjectives. Let me explain.
I would say both of these men were good souls. Did they always make the best decisions? Probably not because they’re human, and that’s what humans do. We make mistakes; sometimes we learn, sometimes it takes a minute. No one is perfect.
In life, for whatever reason, we tend to pass judgment first and think later, and it usually happens after the slightest infraction. We don’t just do this to each other; we do it to ourselves. No one is off the hook.
The negative dialog, whether in our heads or coming out of our mouths, is not only damaging, it’s contagious. Hence the current climate in this nation.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, we do not know what is or isn’t going on with someone, yet our eyes see a particle of a situation and turn it into a wave instead of being curious about what might be happening behind the scenes.
Be curious, not judgemental. Ted Lasso
Let’s get back to the point of those adjectives. For the record, there was no mention of a fat ass or career choice during the memorial service or in the Obituary. Why? Because they don’t matter.
The things I did read and hear throughout these events were words that do matter, such as loving, caring, kind, funny, intelligent, giving, compassionate, a son, brother, father, grandfather, teacher, a good guy, big heart, inspiring, young, passionate and creative just to name a few. It’s a choice.
Today, if you find yourself passing judgment in a moment, pause and see the good. This goes for what you see and how you talk to yourself. We’re all enough, warts and all.
Enjoy the Ride!
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Donald
At this point in my life, why do I continue to let my Inner Critic rise to the occasion to spew its negativity? Really, it needs to just shut up!
The other day I was stretching at the gym when I noticed this young woman staring at me. For the record, the inner critic loves to come to the gym.
Now, I could have thought that she was admiring my flexibility, but nooooo not when I have the asshole in tow.
Immediately I assumed she was looking at my faults. We all know spandex does not lie. When you wear it at 52, after years of abusing yourself with food and bearing children …. it screams the truth.
We made eye contact, exchanged awkward smiles and moved along. The smile was 
received as sympathy for my flaws. Without one piece of evidence.
Later in the workout I noticed her looking in my direction …. again! I should have been thinking that perhaps she was looking for a date, but no not with the good ole critic by my side. It was all about body shaming from that one.
I allowed these negative thoughts to grow throughout the workout. I was ridiculously self-conscience the entire time. As if the struggle isn’t hard enough, I had to dodge some extra punches.
After the hour was over and the stretching complete, the young woman sheepishly approaches me. Mind you she was built like an instructor, not a client, so I assumed she was nervous about how she was going to be brutally honest with me. If only negative thoughts burned calories … I would be transparent.
There I stood waiting for the punch. Feeling horrible about everything spandex, everything about the workout and everything about myself. Defeat at its highest power.
This is what went down:
Young Woman: Oh hi I was just wondering where you get your hair cut. I saw you last week and loved your cut and I’m looking for a change.
Me: What did you say? I blamed my shock o the music.
Young Woman: I was just asking where you get your hair cut I love it!
Me: Gave her all the details and made her very happy.
My new attitude
By the time I got to the car I was furious with myself. I could not believe I put my accomplishments in the back seat while this miserable ass drove me to the point of such defeat. My inner critic has a name, and I think it might be Donald, after another ass I know who continuously spews negative energy.
Think about it….
No more trips to the past for me. Been there, done that.
No more beating myself up over my looks.
No more insecurities.
It’s all about moving forward to crush my goals like the badass rockstar from Mars that I know I am! Yes, that is the sound of someone wearing their positive pants.
I’m off to let my fabulous hair blow in the wind while I ….. Enjoy the Ride!
Quote: thejealouscurator.com; Photo: Huffington Post
Life With The Top Down 
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