Tag Archives: Children

Micro Adults

largeThe other day I was walking through Target looking for another hundred things to purchase aside from what I actually needed when I overheard a mother/daughter interaction.

The mother was walking ahead of the daughter, who could not have been more than 4 years old. Her micro fashion was on point, and her pink sparkle purse did not disappoint.


Mother:  Maddie, keep up you are too far behind.

Maddie:  I know. I’m really slacking today. This is what got my attention. How doe she know the term slacking? She’s just a peanut!

Mother:  You sure are slacking.

Maddie:  Mommy! You’re not supposed to agree with me.

Mother:  Well, you’re not keeping up with me today.

Maddie:  I know that, but you’re supposed to tell me it’s ok that I’m slacking.

Mother:  It’s not ok.

Maddie:  I know that, but I don’t want you to say it because I already know it.

Mother:  Speechless

Me:  Good luck.

This made me take pause. What was I doing at Maddie’s age? Probably eating dirt or glue. 

Not looking like a miniature rock star that’s for sure. I just wore what my sister wore but in a different color.

Not using words like slacking.  I don’t think it was in the dictionary yet.

Not having an adult conversation with my mother in the middle of a store. I did not speak adult at age 4, and we did not go to stores.

Honestly, I don’t think I could handle the likes of  Maddie in my house. It was hard enough trying to control real children, let alone a micro adult. Yes, Maddie, once upon a time, in the United States of America, kids were second-class citizens, and they were all the better because of their status.

Without sounding like a complete fart who thinks things were better “back in the day,” I’m going to go out on a rooftop to scream it loud and clear today.

Parents need to take a step back to realize that their only function is to raise their youngins to be solid citizens. Not superheroes.

They don’t have to be the best student or athlete. They do not need to be micro adults. They do not need to be held up on a pedestal 24/7.  It’s “ok” to be second. 

They just need to be a benefit to the world, and believe it or not there is a straightforward lesson plan. Consistently treat others the way you want to be treatedBam! Mission accomplished. 

Now, let me go find that rooftop before the Maddie’s of the world take over.

Enjoy the Ride!




All In A Days Work

fb101f0749291403d2416549ccec38b3This past week was beyond challenging on the ole nerves for this girl in the work place. Between being shorthanded, overbooked and having our computer system go down for an entire day, it’s a miracle that I am still alive.

This recipe for insanity really made me miss that extra pulse in the office, along with the days of pencils and paper! You broke a point, you sharpened it and you’re back in business… you weren’t on HOLD for hours trying to “fix” the problem.

Yesterday things seemed to start turning around when our computers came back to life! I’m pretty sure my excitement when the “logon” screen popped up was a tad over the top, but that’s what happens when you are 100% dependent on its existence.  If I had pom poms they would  have been used….sad but true. 


Was this really too much to ask for?

So what does one do after spending 3 days basking in the fires of hell? She takes advantage of the sunny sky at lunchtime and heads outside to enjoy it! 

My co-worker and I found a nice shady bench to relax, which lasted all of a nano second. One of the security guards and believe me when I tell you that term is being used VERY lightly, was right in front of us gazing into the sky as if a flying saucer was about to land.

Of course my imagination immediately goes wild with scenarios on what might be happening as I pretend to call dispatch. We have 203 over at the MOB and I might need back-up.  In other words there is a bird flying over the medical office building. I think the biggest case they ever took on was catching a smoker lighting up on hospital grounds. 

As we sat there mocking the poor guy, we actually did hear a strange noise and wondered if this was what he was investigating. By “investigating” I mean looking towards the sky. 

My co-worker inquires as to what he was doing and he responded in the most monotone voice “There are 2 dogs locked in that pick-up truck and I’m looking for the security camera to see how long it’s been parked there.” W H A T?


Badass to the CORE!

Since we are both HUMAN and DOG LOVERS, we ran over to the truck to see for ourselves. Sure enough there were 2 dogs locked in the hot truck with the all the windows up barking and crying! Needless to say we immediately sprung into action. 

At this point Cagney & Lacey a/k/a me and my co-worker take charge of the case. Someone had to! We immediately approach the guard to see if he was going to break the window. Which is exactly what the police say to do in these cases. Again he responds with a half-dead … NO.



We plead our case by informing him in our most crazed voices that it’s “ok” to break the window,but he doesn’t budge. It seemed like it was an effort for him to give us an answer. 

Please to do not fuck around with two women who are already on the edge … just don’t! We were responding to the situation like Navy Seals, while this “guard” was acting as if he swallowed a bottle of Valium. I’m thinking …”this is your chance to make a difference buddy!” 

Cagney & Lacey:  Are you going to call the police?

Droopy Dog:  No. I’m going back to the office to check the surveillance tape to see how long the truck has been parked here.

Cagney & Lacey:  These dogs will be dead by then!

Droopy Dog:  I have to ask my boss about calling the police. Lacey:  YOU HAVE TO CALL YOUR BOSS?! Well I don’t have to check with anyone I’m calling.

I make the call while Cagney uses her quick thinking to round-up some suspects. Since this was obviously a construction vehicle and work is being done on the premises, perhaps it belongs to one of the workers. This thought was like Rocket Science to the “guard”.

Droopy Dog:  What police did you call?

Lacey: The real police? The police that come when you call 911.

Droopy Dog:  Well my boss is at another site and I would have to check with him.

Lacey:  This is an emergency! I can’t believe you can’t call yourself. Walks away in disbelief …. Just then the suspect comes out to his truck and Droopy exchanges words with him. He has the NERVE to say “It’s not even that hot in here!”  He gets into his truck and starts to leave. Oh no you’re not! 


Helpful Information.

I get back on the phone to update the dispatcher when I notice the truck stopping at the next entrance and he enters the building with the dogs. Droopy pulls behind the truck and with the speed of a turtle, follows him inside. I think I saw two snails pass him …. Jesus! 

Just as the suspect comes back outside the REAL police are on the scene. Cagney & Lacey returned to their day jobs and hoped justice was served. By the look on the face of the real police officer as he sped by, it’s safe to say it was. 

We hear too many stories these days about children and animals being locked in hot vehicles. Local news reporters are cooking eggs on dashboards all over the country, just to make a point about just how hot a vehicle can get on a summer day. Unless you just surfaced from under a rock … you know the deal.

BOOM! That my friends is the sound of my mind being blown by the fact that some people still feel that somehow they are above a devastating outcome. YOUR NOT THAT POWERFUL …SORRY!  Enjoy the Ride  with Caution!

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