I’ll Have Rainbow Tears To Go Please
I have been very sad for the last few days while my heart is still on the mend after the loss of our beloved dog Chester. The continuous crying has left me looking like an Iguana, which is not a very good look. Bulging puffy eyes should never be allowed outside of the world of reptiles. However, over the past week I have had the pleasure of discovering something very important about tears…they are necessary and they come in different flavors. Let me explain…
This week we had two patients come in together right after lunch. One was a long existing pain in the ass patient and the other, her evil bitch sister, who was there for the first time. Right out of the gate she was a bitch and it just kept on coming. Whew! My back is to the desk, so I couldn’t see her at first, I just had the displeasure of feeling the flames coming from her mouth. Well, let’s just say she was as ugly as her disposition. Ugly, mean and demanding….a triple threat.
My dear friend and co-worker always gets me going with her anger…is it wrong to enjoy watching someone on the verge of a 
killing spree? I can’t help myself she’s hilarious in this state so I tend to…you know…egg her on. There she was, right in the line of fire with these 2 witches…literally on the verge of jumping the counter, when the PITA (pain in the ass) approached for assistance with her cell phone as if she were at the AT&T store. She had no clue how lucky she was at this point that she was still alive.
Well, let’s just say she may not have been so lucky during Round 2 when she approached the desk screeching “my phone keeps talking make it stop” and waving her phone right into the face of her soon to be murderer. I did what any good co-worker would do … jumped up, took the bullet and prevented a jail term. Lord knows it would have been justifiable homicide.
I have to admit, as aggravating as they Toxic Twins were, they did provide us with something that we ALL needed at the time….a good old-fashioned belly laugh…at their expense of course.
Years ago we decided to create invitations a/k/a coping mechanisms for some of these unruly patients. Ironically, last week I accidentally came across the one for our imaginary Hay Ride. Talk about good timing! Who knew that just the thought of these 2 sporting flammable outfits to a bon-fire could bring such … well … JOY.
The gray gloomy Tears of sorrow were replaced by a shiny set of rainbow Tears, leaving us all with a healthy glow, replenished souls and crossed legs. Laughter truly is the best medicine.
Recognize the silver linings and continue to Enjoy the Ride!
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Caution: Hearts On The Mend
CHESTER “Pop”
02/25/2005-03/09/2013
Today started out like any other day. I was up before the crack of dawn, came downstairs and gave Chester who was snoring like a chainsaw a quick “good morning little guy”, turned the coffee pot on and hit the family room. Pretty much the same routine as any given day. Then something happened….I heard Chester crying.
As most of you know from his Blog post the other day Hallelujah! Hot Dogs Heal The Lame Chester has been having some walking issues. Well, those issues turned into much more this morning when he couldn’t use his hind legs. It was painful to see him struggling. He wanted to get out back to do his morning duties, even though he was in pain he was determined. He never went in the house and he wasn’t starting today.
Our new hardwood floors were not helping his journey to the yard so I gathered all the area rugs we have to make a path to the stairs where I was able to guide him down. Whew! That was an ordeal, but we made it. The next challenge was getting from the bottom of the stairs over to the door. We took numerous breaks, had a couple pep talk and eventually crossed the finish line or threshold, just in the nick of time.
As you can imagine I was very concerned. After some research I discovered he most likely has a back issue, not a leg issue. We got ready, slipped Chester a rophy and headed to the Vet. In our minds we were going for a cortisone shot & medication, but instead we were sent to a hospital for an MRI and possible surgery. What?
Sadly after hearing that he most likely had 3 bulging disks that would require surgery, along with an 8-12 week recovery period with no guarantee of full use, we were left to make the painful decision to let him go on to a place where he can run free and bask in sunbeams all day, while we remain here with all of our wonderful memories to treasure and broken hearts to mend.
I’ll be taking a few days off during the mending, but I’ll be reading to stay occupied. Thank you for all of your kind words about Chester over the past year, they are also included in our memories.
Life can certainly change is a flash so make sure you Enjoy the Ride as much as Chester enjoyed his. I Love You Poppy!
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Hallelujah! Hot Dogs Heal The Lame
Hello everyone, it’s me Chester the Beagle and I’ll be guest blogging for Lisa today. She’s been such a good nurse lately I thought I’d cut her some slack. I’ve been sick as a dog! My troubles all started back on Valentine’s Day when I woke up looking like someone who may be employed in a bell tower. One minute I’m scratching my ear, the next I’m looking like Quasi Moto.
This is the only evidence I have of my where a bouts …
My memory is sketchy at best on the details, but I do recall Momma calling the doctor, me getting a sausage and then the rest is somewhat of a blur. I’m not pointing paws here, but I think there was a rophy in that sausage! That’s all I know is when I finally woke up my nails were cut, my butt was sore and my ear was feeling better. Either I went to the Doggie Doctor or a seedy massage pallor…I’ll never really be sure.
Well, one thing I know for sure is I was feeling like a puppy after that adventure! Momma has been giving me a little chicken every morning a pleasant surprise indeed and by the afternoon I was skipping out of the gate. Woo…it felt so good to be young again! However, all good things must end and this includes rejuvenation.
During one of my puppy highs, I spotted a cat in the distance. I thought, “hey I’m feeling like a champ and I’m gonna get me some of that feline.” What the HELL was this old dog thinking? It has been almost 2 weeks since I dashed skipped across that field and I’m still suffering. Momma said that chasing stray pussy never ends well…boy was she was RIGHT. I had to be wrapped in a blanket and carried back home by the humans…it was more than humiliating, especially with that feisty Boston Terrier looking on, mocking me with his agility.
This is NOT me! It’s the image in my head.
So there I was, trapped downstairs, unable to go up the steps with my bum leg ALL…OVER … A…CAT. Do you know what this means for me? I can no longer bask in the sun. There is no more going on the deck to bark at passer-byes and the worst part of all… I AM NOT ABLE TO GET TO THE KITCHEN. It’s tragic, simply tragic.
On Thursday following the “incident” I was a hot mess before Momma went to work. I’m not proud of my behavior, I just didn’t want to be alone and a little crying usually goes a long way, but she left anyway. I played it up until Dad got there to save the day. We both took a nice nap and life was good again. I may have gotten a little ahead of myself later that evening when I smelled something I haven’t had the pleasure of sniffing since Summer…a hot dog! Not, just any hot dog … an Applegate Farm All Organic Hot Dog. I’m sure you all know what happened next…yep…I RAN up the steps to get me some of that goodness!
The gates of heaven opened before me and I was standing in Doggie Paradise a/k/a … the kitchen. Who knew Hot Dogs had the 
power to heal the lame? I was so happy to be upstairs in the living area that I slept late on Friday. It wasn’t until I tried to get up to do my doo doo duties that I realized that…umm…maybe I over estimated my abilities with those stairs. Hot Dog goggles, beer goggles, love goggles…they all make us do crazy things.
It’s been a rough week for everyone. Good ole Dad has been sleeping on the couch so I don’t get scared. Momma tried, but apparently I snore. The girl of the house is on Spring break, keeping me company during the day. If telling me to “stop faking” is company. The boy has been lecturing me on my weight one minute and slipping me a chicken tender the next. Are these mixed singles or am I on a chicken tender weight loss program?
Ugh, what’s an old dog to do? Something tells me there’s another rophy sausage in my very near future if I ever want to lie in another sunbeam. Until then … I think I’ll put my Hotdog goggles on and Enjoy the Ride!
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Life Is Good!
Writing Challenge: The Devil In Details
Your challenge this week is to practice your powers of observation. Take any person, place, or event, and write three paragraphs describing your subject in great detail.
As I sit on the oversized chair in my living room trying to relax from a long day of labor. I can’t help but be calmed by the last beam of sun breaking through the front window. The natural light bounces off a pink antique dish leaving a magnificent collaboration of colors on the floor. My big beagle Chester is laying in its bright center, no doubt enjoying the warmth it is providing. His breathing is calm, as the colors seem to dance about his body. He remains unnerved as he snores his peaceful snores in the center of a sunbeam. Life is good!
In the background of this peaceful scene President Obama is delivering his Inauguration speech to our nation. I can hear the strength in his voice as he reminds us of our duties as citizens. I can hear the passion in voice as he eloquently reminds us of the importance of compromise. I hear the hope in his voice as informs us that “peace in our time requires the constant advance of those principles that our common creed describes: tolerance and opportunity; human dignity and justice.” My heart begins to warm, my mind begins to ease and I become settled with the confidence that our future will be bright. Life is good!
The sun is about to turn in for the night. Chester begins to stir as if a warm blanket has just been removed when the last of that sunbeam makes its way back out the window. The scent of sautéed onions begins to fill the room with a sweet aroma. Onions? Dinner? Shit! Shit! Shit! I got to the pan just in time to turn off the gas flame, rescuing those caramelized beauties from a tragic demise. My pot of boiling water was now on the edge of extinction, but quickly resuscitated with a new batch of fresh water. The poor baby carrots appeared to be involved in some sort of rapid dance-off. As I lowered the heat they all seemed to collapse to the bottom of the pan surrendering to their exhaustion. They showed no signs of life until I drizzled them with honey and they began pleading to be consumed. Life is Good!
Life is full of surprises…Enjoy the Ride!
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Signs of Living & Love
Explore the room you’re in as if you’re seeing it for the first time. Pretend you know nothing. What do you see? Who is the person who lives there?
I’m sitting in a living area of some sort. It appears to be a quiet area strictly reserved for adult dwelling. However, there is evidence of a sloppy teenage boy considering the (2) pairs of sneakers that have been left scattered on the floor, along with a basketball that looks out of place next to a stack of books.
The flowered youthful looking wallet left on the end table would indicate a young woman lives here as well. Ugh, looks like she has a dentist appointment scheduled for June according to this appointment card. The polka dotted luggage sitting by the door might say she is prepared to head back to college today.
Ooo, it looks like someone enjoys reading due to the overflowing book rack that seems to have spilled over into a second pile. There are (2) candy dishes present, so I’ll assume more than one person who lives here has a sweet tooth. I see keys, glasses, gloves & a tape measure on the landing as you enter the front door. This appears to be an area where everyone unloads their pockets before entering this room, leaving them the ability to restock before they leave.
I see a large Beagle snoring in the middle of the room. Whoever lives here loves him very much due to his content nature , special basket of toys and that big bone he is guarding in between snores.
There is a very small TV, almost the size of a postage stamp, placed on a end table. It doesn’t appear to belong in the room, but perhaps the adults needed something to watch since the teenagers took over an original family area with their friends. On the other table is a wireless Bose stereo system playing 70’s classic rock tunes at the moment.
This room is warm and welcoming. The colors are inviting and the woodworking provides wonderful character. Someone who lives here is extremely talented in woodworking. There is a half-moon cherry wood mantle that is the center of attraction. The wall has been arched to make this beautiful piece the focal point of the room. It’s beauty is enhanced by antique sconces, with just the dimmest of light shining through the frosted glass. There is also crown molding accenting the windows that pull this room together and create a look that you would expect from a time long gone.
All in all I think the people who live here are a typical middle class family who just happen to enjoy the finer things when it comes to their dwelling. They are chocolate eating readers who prefer music over TV. These people love their children enough to walk over their big sneakers. I would say that they are generous, creative and warm people who enjoy quiet time in this room, but certainly don’t mind sharing it with a couple of teenagers, a basketball and a beagle. The room I am in is filled with signs of love.
Enjoy the Ride!
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Big Ole Lump of Love
Run outside. Take a picture of the first thing you see. Run inside. Take a picture of the second thing you see. Write about the connection between these two random objects, people, or scenes.
I for one am not surprised that a Fancy Tree Rat Squirell is the first thing I laid my eyes on when heading outdoors this morning. This little fella is only one of the thousands that seem to be invading our area this year. For some unknown reason we have been inundated with these little creatures in our neighborhood. I’m not really feeling blessed by this at all.
They spend their days running around in circles accomplishing nothing in the process. It’s really annoying to witness. I think I’ve worked with people who were clearly squirrels in another life. They spend their days being busy trying to look busier than everyone else. ADHD x’s 1000 and always an epic fail.
When I came inside this is the first thing I saw. A big ole lump of love a/k/a Chester. Not a care in the world. True bliss with a tail. You won’t see him running in circles for no reason. When Chester does something, he does it with a purpose. If you ever saw him watch a stew cooking you would understand that statement.
He sleeps,walks, eats, sleeps, walks, sleeps again, walks, poops, sleeps again, eats, walks, poops and sleeps until it all starts over again. This little that is being used loosely guy lives a very simple life. There is something to be said about living the life you love.
THE CONNECTION: The behavior of these two animals sends a very clear message, well to me any way. In the end what do we all really long to be? Rich…Famous…Happy. Of course it would be nice to have all three, but if we’re being realistic I’ll go with Happy. Believe me I know having a solid bank account might make things easier, but does it bring you happiness? No. I’ve come across some miserable rich fucks folks in my day.
So you have a choice, you can either run around in circles chasing that next whatever it may be that you think will make you happy or you can take a good look inside yourself, ask “What really makes me happy?” Give yourself some good solid answers and apply some energy in that direction. It’s not nearly as difficult as we make it out to be.
Let’s face it, not everyone is born with a sunny disposition, but I think we can all agree that we have the ability to learn how to bring more meaning and satisfaction into our lives. Happiness is contagious…spread some around.
Stop glorifying busy. Slow the hell down. Find your happy and Enjoy the Ride!
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Canine Whipped
Lord Chester
Ruler of the Domain
Greetings fellow readers, I will be filling in for Life today to provide all of you with the trials and tribulations I was forced to endure during Hurricane Sandy.
I am Chester the Beagle over here at the Life With The Top Down residence, however I prefer more fitting titles such as Boss, Ruler of the Domain or Lord of the Land. At dinner time you can call me Pudding Pop, I’ll be there like lightning.
Shortly after I took up residence, I made it very clear that I will not perform my daily duties like a common house pet in the yard. Yes, I’m too good for that.
If I choose to spend my afternoons basking in the sun, I certainly don’t want to be lounging next to a petrified turd that one of these humans failed to retrieve.
Up until yesterday everything was fine with my accommodations. My required morning, afternoon & evening journey to release yesterday’s consumption has never been interrupted. A record to be proud of, if I do say so myself.
SNORING like a chainsaw
In fact, over the years I’ve managed to train my caregivers to take me out in rain, snow & ice without so much as a whimper or light scratch at the door. Oh, you haven’t been whipped … till you’ve been Canine whipped.
This all came to an erupt halt yesterday when someone named Sandy came town. I overheard the humans discussing that she wasn’t welcome.
The elder male and I decided not to give her the time of day by spending most of our time doing what we do best…..napping. I believe a record may have been broken. Apparently there is a fine line between the term “nap” and “going back to bed”, however I really don’t see a difference. Damn you Guinness!
Sweet Jesus it’s Chili!
Yesterday I was awakened from my lengthy slumber by something wonderful brewing in my favorite room…the kitchen. Sweet Mother of Mercy it was Chili! My prayers have been answered, my dreams were coming true.
As you might imagine, one of my duties around here is to guard the valuables, NOTE: If you come with a food source I enjoy, the keys are yours. A list of my favorites will be provided upon request, so I spent the next few hours keeping a close nose eye on that Chili. I’ll admit I was jonesing 2 minutes into my guard duties like a heroin addict looking for a score. For god sakes people I am still a dog!
Well, I guess by now you know what time it is…dinner. Oh my God the Momma (that’s what I call Life) has my dish. Oh my God she’s scooping out my food. Oh my God the Chili is next..it’s next…it’s next. What! No you didn’t girl..you better back away from that organic ground chicken and get your ass over to that Chili!
At this moment I made an executive decision to eat what I was given quickly in order to beg my nap buddy for some Chili. Epic Fail! I heard the Momma saying “his ass will be on fire if you give him any of that Chile and he already has “a thing” about not pooping within a 10 mile radius of this house, without throwing in Sandy!” Obviously they have failed to recognize that although I have 4 legs, I also have 2 EARS.
Hello?
Who is this Sandy!? Something is clearly wrong. On a normal evening once I have consumed my final meal of the day, I enjoy a walk to release the old while the new settles in…if you know what I mean.
Last night seemed different as I headed out, something was out of sorts so I took a peek. Sandy? Um..is that you?
I love to hear you beg. Do it again..come on.
The humans were whispering, but I wasn’t sure what all the hubbub was about. I was starting to get paranoid… I was still coming off my high from the chili fumes.
The Momma was pleading for me to go back out there where all that noise was, but we all know that wasn’t happening. Refer back to who rules this house.
My faithful servant a/k/a
Poop Picker Upper
Next thing I knew the coat was being put on. Ruh Roh they were bringing out the big guns, this can’t be good.
I decided to go out front, since the loudmouth Sandy seemed to be out back. I wasn’t thrilled with this decision, so I hesitated. Next thing I knew the leash was brought out.
FYI: I don’t do leashes unless I’m with Momma, who still thinks I’m capable of running away.
Why the hell would I ever run or skip for that matter? It took me 7 years to train these 2, I’m not starting over.
The winds were brutal, my coat was blowing up in the back, but I still managed to release 2 piles far away from my domain. Mission accomplished!
The Gate! The Gate!
Today is a new day. Sandy is no longer outback…whew. I’ve been out there 4 times, all before noon doing what I do.
Now I am ready to enjoy those chicken cutlets I spotted earlier. What? I’m a Beagle we hunt. Yes, chicken cutlets are prey!
I hope that all my fellow four-legged friends fared the wrath of Sandy without much disruption to their daily routines.
Remember to pet a pet today and of course….Enjoy the Ride!
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Friday Fun Fur
Star of the Blog….CHESTER
Look who is featured here on Fun Fur Friday, Chester my Beagle. Chester is his official name, however it’s been replaced by…Pop, Pudding Pop, Popsicle, Sickle, Sickle Cell Anemia, Buddy, Bud, Friend, Chess, Woo Woo Waa Waa and Little Littles.
Don’t judge I happen to come from a family of name changers, it’s in the genes, it’s what we do. Yes, this includes yours truly a/k/a … Lee Wee.
My mother was calling for me back in the day, but I didn’t want to go in just yet, so I hid behind a car with my friends (giggling). On her 3rd attempt to get my attention, you guessed it …”Leeeeeeeeeeeee Weeeeeeeeee come on honeybun it’s time for bed…Leeeeeeeee Weeeeeeee! (giggling)” Mothers’ always get the last laugh. It’s all a blur other than crawling home and being dubbed Lee Wee from that point on.
Hater’s gonna hate.
I didn’t ask to be this cute…it just happened.
To your left is Chester’s baby picture. At a mere 9 weeks old he is sitting in a planter we had in the yard. He climbed in there on his own and I was so mad that I didn’t have a little sailor hat…ugh. He was cool with not having the hat, I’m still not.
Simmer down…simmer down. I’m already sitting on the step, because I want to Sit On The Step … Campeche?
To your right is the Toddler stage. The never-ending guessing game. Do you want to sit on the step? Do you want to go in? How about some water? Walk? Do you want to go for a walk? Do you have to go pee? poop? I still expect answers…I am such an optimist.
Chester’s “CAT” phase ended when his ‘growth spurt” caused him to require assistance getting in the window.
We all love the Teenage stage, what’s not to love. Going through those wonderful experimental stages of wanting to be a Cat, staying up late, sleeping until well after noon and my favorite…defiance or as you like to think…independence.
It wasn’t easy watching you walk without the security of the leash, but we had to let go and trust you wouldn’t run. Not that you would ever leave your food source.
No doubt Chester was up late watching that special on
Animal Planet…AGAIN!
Long gone are the days when we chased after you as you bolted for a rabbit, knowing you never had a chance. Yet we were RUNNING.
We no longer hear you running up and down the steps howling during a good game of hide-n-seek anymore. The days of chasing your orange ball are few and far between. We won’t mention how you somehow muster up the energy of a puppy for any form of food….just sayin.
The only thing missing is the yellow “Crime Scene” tape.
Finding a sunbeam is one of your favorite pastimes. Laying on the step like a rock for hours and scaring the crap out of the neighbors is priceless. Always a character.
Middle age has set in and suddenly you’ve taken on the personality of Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men. You still enjoy people and other dogs … from a distance. You are set in your ways, your schedule is etched in stone and your happiest moments are sitting outback with your human counterpart.
Middle Age at its best..
I’ve come to the conclusion that my parenting and pet raising methods are very similar. I enjoy the security of a leash. Chess is pushing 49 in dog years and I still worry about him running into the street. Honestly, does the word “run” even cross his mind?
The kiddies are growing up, my grip has loosened on the leash and my sense of security has been turned over to…Faith. Hey, I can always step on the leash if I drop it! …. Enjoy the Ride!
Life With The Top Down 
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